by 
Smurphy
ANSWERS: 29
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Answering my own question sorry... "Sorry officer, I'm drunk."
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I am running late, and I am in a hurry. could we speed this ticket thing up?
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"I need to get back to the bar before I sober up."
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Oh I have HORROR stories for excuses I gave out... But I was younger and thinner and hotter and they ALWAYS worked. Now... I just have to be careful to NEVER get pulled over. No rest for the flabby or the middle aged traffic offender.
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i was on my cell phone
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I was speeding because I'm late to my huge cocaine deal at my gang brother's meth lab because I killed this pregnant prostitute and I had to chop her up and put her in my trunk after I molested a few kids at the school that I lit on fire.
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I was just checking your speed.
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I have an appointment with my Street Pharmacist in five minutes, if I am late he might not have any left!!!
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i was trying to get to your wife before you got home
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.. i cant read the speedo..
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I didn't realize I was speeding, my spedometer is broken. They'll make you fix it in some states and produce a reciept at the police station to prove you did it.
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One of my tire is punctured, I'm going fast to get to home before it runs out of air. So please let me go or please replace my tire.
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My kids told me to.
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A real one here - or at least only one step from the guy who claimed it happened him. A couple of young men drove a Citroen 2CV (ultimate wimp of a car) from Argentina to the US. By the time they got to the US, it was essentially wrecked. Coming to a steep hill, they slowed down to about 10mph, with cars swerving past them sounding horns. Getting to the top, it was pedal to the metal going downhill the other side, at which they got up a fair speed. At the bottom they were stopped by a cop because of their downhill speed. Thinking he was upset about the slow speed they had gone up the hill, the driver climbed out and said "Sorry, officer, I couldn't go any faster".
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I'm allergic to pork-based products, so was trying to put some distance between me and you, officer.
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I was once told that a speeder's wife had pressed a button on his dashboard that changed the reading from MPH to KPH, and it was reading in KPH, so the thought he was going the speed limit. The only problem with that is that he was going 60 in a 35 and the readout for KPH would have been around 100, not 35. He got a ticket, and a lecture about lying to the cops in front of his children.
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I did not think you could catch me!
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I told my drug dealer id be their to buy the bud a hour ago!
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Haha! I thought you would never catch me!
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I can't tell you the worst, but I can tell you the best - I wasn't speeding. A lot are trained to ask 'Why were you speeding' because the question ASSUMES you WERE speeding, so you say 'because...', and legally, and to the cop, that is admittance of speeding. To him, you haven't been speeding until you say 'because'. You say 'I wasn't' and he can't do anything about it, he can't prove it in a court of law without your admittance of the crime, especially if he didn't have a speed camera (which he didn't if he chased you down and pulled you over to ticket you). Just don't do that in an obvious case. If you're going to go 80 in a 60 zone, you need to accept the circumstances of getting caught. There are other drivers who can act as witnesses in a case like that. But if you're going 65 and you pull over as soon as the sirens go on, you're in the clear.
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i didnt realise you were looking!
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I took some speed because they were out of cocaine. ;-)
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I have to go to the bathroom NOW! (I tried it, it didn't work). He let me drive to a restaurant and gave me a huge ticket anyway..maybe even a bigger ticket because he had to wait outside the restaurant until I was done.
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I was asleep.
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"My wife left me for a cop and I thought you were trying to bring her back, so I was trying to get away."
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I saw you turn on your lights so I hit the gas.
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NONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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I was neither a murder suspect, nor a target for an international spy organization. But I drove a car down the Jersey Turnpike at 80 mph. ...A police officer pulled me over and asked for my driver's license. He said I was going 20 mph over the speed limit. I instantly pointed to my wife and said "I'm in a hurry, my wife is in labor." Fortunately, my wife actually had a big stomach. I hoped he'd let me go with this excuse. "Oh, since it's an emergency. I'll lead you to the hospital with my police car," he said. "No, it's not necessary." "Why not?" asked the officer. "Uh... well..." "Let's get going," said the officer... "No, no! We can't! This baby is a demon child!"
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I was testing your throttle response, now I'm going to see how fast you can run with those doughnuts in ya!
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