Would you give up your beloved pet if your fiance issued you an ultimatum to do so? I'm a dog lover. He's not. And it's a dealbreaker for him.
by 
frazzle
ANSWERS: 33
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Not a chance! If he is yoour fiance he obviously knew about your dog before you got engaged. If he wants you to get rid of something as important as your dog before you get married what is he going to ask you to change AFTER you get married. I'd kick the loser to the curb. My pets are family and I'll keep them till either they die or I do.
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Dump him. If he was allergic that is one thing, but he's not. Whats next, Is he going to order you to get rid of your kids too.
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I'd tell him bye, and not to let the door hit him in the butt as he left, well maybe it's ok if it hits HIM! You will NEVER be able to have a dog as long as you are with him, is it worth it? It wouldn't be to me!
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No...I think my dogs were a major issue in my recent break up.
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No i wouldn't, he is my baby and anyone who can't understand that ain't worth it ;0)
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So, he hates dogs more than he loves you, I guess. Unless he was super allergic, THAT would be a deal breaker for me. I never responded well to ultimatums.
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Well, that's my stance too...no way. I see my dog as my family. He seems my dog as a clingy, high strung nuisance. So, for the dog lover like me...is your dog typically near you or in the same room with you when you're home? My fiance finds this suffocating to have the dog with us all the time at home. I think it's pretty normal for a dog to want to be "with the family."
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NO....if that's a dealbreaker for him say adios. He should have ended it with you or not pursued you as soon he found out you were a dog lover if that is a dealbreaker for him. What else is important to you that will ask you to give up in the future? You will eventually resent him if you give up the things you hold dear for him. If you really are a dog lover, why would you want someone that isn't?
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if he loved u he would let u keep ure dog but if he has an allergy than ask a family or friend to look after ure pet
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I've never been with a non animal lover before..I guess I underestimated just how tough that could be.
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Animals are realy important to me so I dont think I would have been with someone that long if he didnt like animals.. Seems like that would have been something you foud out a long time ago.
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Not a chance in hell. My dogs and I are a package deal. Love me, love my girls. Giving me such a shitty ultimatum would be MY dealbreaker. He sounds like a tool. You can do better.
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I don't like dogs in the house - but even i would deal with it - Ultimatums are a sign - you might rethink this - it might be about more than a dog - what will be the next ultimatum -
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I did know he wasn't an animal person and we did have issues about the dog a few months back. Then, fiance started to try to get to know the dog more and I thought things were turning around (along with his attitude). Then, fiance proposed and said he had made peace with idea of living with dog. Now, he's resersed his stance and says he can't live with the dog.
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Regardless of the issue, ultimatums are not a good sign. It is a way of controlling someone, a way of getting someone to do what you want with the threat of exiting your life. A manipulating threat of sorts and you have to ask yourself if this is about the dogs or if it is more about him having control.....
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I doubt if we'd have gotten to the fiance stage with this issue. I guess it would depend on why he would want it gone. There might be other ways we could compromise. I just doubt that any man I was interested in would ever make that kind of ultimatum. I wouldn't have let it get that far. But I would seriously have to reconsider marrying them if this is the side they were showing me.
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No Way! I wonder what other things he would ask you to give up. You may want to take a closer look at your fiance. Asking you to give up your beloved pet is so insensitive. Would you actually give up your pet for him?
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well as someone who is allergic to animals and can't have one around I understand. however I did have a dog, Daisy, for 11 years. I couldn't imagine giving her up.... but you are getting married. if its a deal breaker what is more important? People or animals?
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This is not love this is control. Behavior like this is an enormous red flag, I would run, not walk away. First it will be Fido, then you friends, then your parents, then your job, everything that you are as a person. He wants you to be totally isolated and dependent on him. If your self esteem is not already shattered by then he will begin to demean you, making you think he is the only man who would ever want you. My advise is get out now. In closing, if he really loved you he would not want to change anything about you! That is why love, when it is real, is so unique and wonderful.
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We we supposed to get married this month. I told him we have to postpone. I am very concerned he has control issues.
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No way! My dog is my best friend! If he really loved you, he wouldn't want to hurt you by making you give up your pet.
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If he didn't like dogs, we would never have gotten to the fiance stage. I seriously doubt we would even have had a second date. The very fact that he doesn't like dogs would be a dealbreaker for me to date him.
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Honestly - if a guy demanded I give up my friends, or working, or even my favourite TV program I'd be terrified because that's just plain controlling behaviour with no reason to it, except to exert authority. Its easy to see that would be the tip of the iceberg and the beginning of years of senseless bullying over silly little things. Unless your guy is allergic to dogs, then this is nothing more than a power struggle. Run. If he wins he'll only think of something else to control, like your clothes.
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He's known all along that you have a dog! It's very unfair of him to now ask you to choose. He should have brought this up early in the relationship. I think it is now "me and my dog" or nothing.
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Before I can give you a good answer, I need to know WHY he wants you to get rid of the dog. For instance, is he allergic? Is the dog aggressive toward him? Does he just not want to take care of it?
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no way I grieve more over my dog rio who dadly Passed jan 30 08 than I have any relastionship that have gone the way side I sounds like a jerk I'd bail and consider myself lucky
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well, I hate dogs too, but I don't think it's fair.. If I had a girlfriend who wanted me to get rid of my cats if we were to live together, I would refuse too
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No. I can't stand dogs myself but would at least look for a compromise to the situation. On the other hand I have cats and would never be without them. It is one thing to sit and discuss pets rationally and another to issue ultimatums.
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if my dog could speak, i'm sure he wouldn't make me choose between him and the fiance. i'd give up the one careless enough to want me to choose.
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Hell No!!
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Hell no. I've been single a long time and I can stay single longer.
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"Dealbreakers" are for the start of a relationship. I won't seriously date someone who smokes or who wants kids, but I make that known up front. Has he just been pretending to like the dog the whole time, or what? Christ, what a tool. If he's willing to say "the dog or me," then that means he's offering you a way out. If he couldn't live without you, then he wouldn't be willing to risk it on something so stupid as wanting you to get rid of your dog. Now, a caveat: If you have a dog that is, for instance, old and incontinent, or vicious (ask other people, since both of you would be biased about this), or something, I can at least see where he's coming from. I wouldn't want to inflict my hypothetical incontinent dog on a new husband -- but I'd also not be willing to have it put down if it wasn't suffering. If there's some way he has a valid point, take it into consideration, but otherwise I agree with the people saying he's a tool.
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If it were me, I would get rid of my guy. I love dogs and could not be with someone that didn't. They are not pets to me, they are family. to me it's like asking me to give my child because he doesn't like them. But I guess it would depend on how much of a dog lover you truely are.
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