the one from Publisher's Clearing House.

Years ago I received a message from a collect caller named "Islam". The call came from a prison. I didn't known anyone in prison at the time.

I think my favorite happened many years ago when 3 of us in our early 20's shared an apartment in the big city.One of the guys answered the phone and handed it to me, saying whoever it was they asked for me by my first name. This drunk guy started swearing at me and accused me of screwing his wife. I told him he had the wrong number and hung up on him. My buddies soon asked if I had been screwing the guy's wife. I told them no and I had no idea who this guy was. 10 minutes later the guy called back saying he had a gun & was going to kill me. I told him to F-off and hung up. We were getting high and had a good laugh about it. The guy kept phoning back and every time he got more pissed off. He knew by the phone exchange we were in the same area of the city but he kept demanding the address. I'd had enough by about the 9th or 10th call and by then we figured it was time to end this, so I told him to bring over his wife so I could do her one last time and gave him the address across the street (where the big drug dealers lived). He said he'd be there in 5 and was bringing 2 of his buddies to do me in proper. I said "MOFO just kick down my door and come get me !". I hung up the phone, my roommate turned out the lights and we all huddled at the window to watch the show. Sure enough 5 minutes later they there and kicked in the pusher's door. It couldn't have been more than 5 seconds later when they came flying back out with 3 Rottweilers nipping at their asses and followed by 2 big black guys swinging machetes. The last I saw of them they were all running way down the street at high speed. We must have laughed for an hour. The next morning I got the phone number changed. LOL True story.

The caller said he was announcer from a pop radio station and they were having a competition to see who could bark the best on the telephone. The prize was $2,000. For that much money I'd have peed on his hub caps. So I gave him some big dog and some little dog while, all the time, Mrs Didge is wondering whether she should call the man in the white coats. When I finished I said, "Now, tell me the truth. You're at a party making funny phone calls, aren't you?" He insisted that he was an announcer but, of course, he wasn't and I missed out on the money.