Well, this doesn't really answer the question, just raises a related issue: Since the will is read after the funeral, what good is it to put your funeral wishes in it? --- Edit 17 Oct 2005 Hubby has told me that the lawyer reads the will before the funeral, so the wishes are known. However, I am sure that there are many cases where the lawyer isn't aware of the death until after the funeral. I have never had to arrange a funeral, so I don't know first hand, but does the funeral home have anything to do with notifying the right lawyer? Do they advise the next of kin to contact him/her?

To make sure your funeral wishes will be carried out, you need to purchase funeral insurance through a funeral home in your area. (The funeral insurance is placed in your name and can not be claimed until your death.) This allows you to choose the type of service ie. burial or cremation. You will also be able to choose your casket, urn, flowers, ect. and other items that pertain to your funeral wishes. If you pay the complete balance of the funeral at the time you are pre-arranging it locks in the prices (this could vary by insurance companies). So lets say you live another 20years, during that time your insurance gathers interest. The funeral home is betting the interest and the rise in their prices balance out. The nice thing about pre-arranging is your family will not have to worry about the majority of decisions when it comes to arranging your actual funeral. They might think preparing your funeral is creepy now, but in the end they will appriciate it. This is just basic information. A funeral home in your area should be able to fully answer your question.

It depends on several factors, including: - Is your request legal? - Is it feasible? - Are resources available to execute your wishes? - Is someone available to carry out your wishes? For example, if your dying wish was to be cremated and then make that miserable brother of yours eat your ashes so you'll stick in his throat, my guess would be: no. If you wanted to have your ashes placed in orbit around the earth, you would have to overcome significant practical and financial problems. But if you want to be piped out of this life to the sounds of 'Amazing Grace' with $100 in your pocket so you can say you took it with you, no problem. But seriously, this sort of thing should be reviewed with your lawyer when the will is drawn up. Your will can and , perhaps, should contain contingency plans in the event that your wishes are not able to be performed. Quite apart from any potential expenses, you really have to ensure that someone is there to do the best they can to meet your wishes. That's just one of the things the executor does.

The truth is, I've never seen a funeral where the wishes of the departed were carried out to the 'T', no matter how many good intentions were involved and no matter how well known were the wishes of the departed. Somebody always screws something up; scattering ashes in the wrong place, open casket vs. closed casket (that one was really awful), to name a few specific examples. After searching, I could find no legally binding document one could use to enforce their parting wishes. If you think about it, enforcement would be a big problem; Who would file for damages? How could you even prove damages? The slighted party isn't exactly available to offer testimony! Since no one really knows for certain what happens after you die, it would be difficult to prove the departed was harmed in any way by not having their last wishes honored, it would be pure speculation. I did find sites that offer to 'document your parting wishes' on-line, Last Will and Testament kits that come with a special section for your 'Final Arrangements', etc. The best way is to document it with someone you know will not betray your trust. Personally, I don't think I'll care one way or the other how my body is disposed of after I die, so why worry about it? (Making arrangements to cover your own funeral costs is always a good idea, I'm talking about the other stuff; bronze casket or silver casket? cremation? Ashes in the Ocean or Desert? That type of stuff.) Here's a good link on the subject: http://www.nolo.com/article.cfm/ObjectID/4FC06D55-D794-4DC8-8A838B8BE9AD48E3/catID/20CEEE73-2677-4AF1-90597F7976CA2BCD/309/311/FAQ/#3710769F-96B9-49A9-94D2320D5398FE20

Who really cares?? I am sure you will not care one iota, it may be your body, but when your dead, your dead, end of living. Who gives a stuff what happens to your body after you leave it! While living, you think about your body, to cremate to bury! I would rather be cremated, then to think (while living) what happens to the buried body, but in reality, when your dead, you could not be stuffed about your old carcus is disposed of.

Evidently the wishes of the living always override the wishes of the dead. If you're not here to personally oversee the proceedings then I doubt your memorial service will be exactly what you'd planned.

I consider it a perfectly valid question. The funeral and burial or cremation may not be seen or felt by the dead body, but there are many reasons why one might want to be remembered a certain way by the living. Your religion may mandate a certain form of disposal of the body. I for one do not want, for example, my body to be cremated and the urn placed on a shelf for everyone to see. The list could go on. To offer a more precise answer to the original question, whether your wishes or those of the next-of-kin will prevail depends on the jurisdiction. Assuming you are American, here is a summary of the laws in different states: http://www.funerals.org/your-legal-rights/funeral-decision-rights

they should be but its not always the case. if someone were to state that in the event of their death they want their minor children to be under the care of whoever they choose. if the court doesnt see them fit they will not put the child with them.

It appears that a lot of states allow the designation of am agent (person) to carry out the wishes. I would think that a trust (payment) could be set up for this agent that was payable upon execution of the wishes.

Why bother - you will be dead and will never know!!!!!!