Coronation Street.

"We want to impart all our wisdom to you. Please get into this huge sauce pan and roll around in the melted butter and lime juice to begin the process."

Perhaps sex, or they may ask what a certain pill they found is for.

They'd first want to know if they were in a "sanctuary city!" THEN: They'll probably be asking where to get a cheap "green card and social security number!"

just how wrong star trek was haha

lipstick and nail polish colors for the upcoming season

They will first ask us for a body for experimentation, and sexual and asexual reproduction.

my gurlfreind has cheated on me over a million times and is alwas takin to other guyz do u think i shood lev her and y ?

galactic transportation

Your health and the weather.

Why love hurts.

Cosmetic Surgery

Probably nothing. It's the only really significant topic.

negotiate on the pay check for the film ET 3

They will endeavour to impart the secret of life but the communication will be interupted by something akin to; "A problem has been detected and Windows has shutdown to prevent damage to your computer. DRIVER_IRQL_NOT_LESS_OR_EQUAL If this is the first time you've seen this stop error screen, restart your computer. If this screen appears again, please follow these steps:BLAH,BLAH,BLAH"

they already know what they need to know.

What happened on the latest reality television show or "why do your male specimens have nipples?"

They will ask us why the male species of our kind have nipples.

I think they would want to know about us as much as we would want to know about them.

They will want to talk about the latest porn movie

What took us so long.

No doubt about it, despite all the films telling us they'll land in the USA, they'll land in Britain and we'll bore them from the planet talking about the weather. Who needs SDI when we've got the Brits to talk about the weather? Nice day, isn't it? No, it's p?&*%sing down.

They will want to know what's up with all the Paris Hilton crap, and everybody wanting to kill each other, and Bowling with Midgets being a sport? What the hell?

they'd want to compare photographs of our kids. they'd pull out their wallets and show us pictures of their swarm of larvae, and we'd just smile and nod and be like "Oh. ummm... they're... cute."

illegal immigration

I highly doubt that if we encounter an "intelligent" alien life form we will have the ability to communicate with it. This is how I see it going: We make contact with alien life forms. Alien life forms have different technology than we do, and we can't communicate. Actions lead to misunderstandings, intergalactic war breaks out, and xenocide occurs.

If we ever did encounter some new life form, I think, as silly as the movie was, that it would be more like Mars Attacks! with the aliens trying to wipe us out, instead of just pleasant conversations. If they travel all this way, they are here for a reason and I wouldn't trust them landing and just making contact. they would be wanting something, I just hope it isn't my head for a snack.

Why are all those cows jumping over the moon, they dont know what to do with all their sh#t

they'll want to know why all humans are fascinated with that paris, britney, and lindsey species.

They would want to talk about our sources of power, weapons, media, scientific advancements, medicines, what kinds of diseases Earth has, what type of organism we are, the full gambit to be sure. The odds are they will run into us first. We can't even escape our own galaxy let alone master the basics of interstellar space travel. Trust = 0 based upon tons of movies. I would not trust an alien. #1 sign that you can't is when they say take me to your leader. This raises all the red flags.

We really want to know why you humans are so obsessed with anal probing.... I mean yeah, we did it to the first guy, but upon the discovery that his head was in fact not located there.... we moved on.... Apparently his female was not educated in the aspects of human biology. We apologize for listening to her. Now we just want to see how you respond to unexplainable phenomena.... We put a lesser primate into the election running and humans on one continent elected him... not once, but twice! We want to communicate with your species, but you clearly have not reached a substantial point in your eveloution. You even have prejudices against one another for no apparent reason. You cannot accept anyone born with different coloring, different preferences or different faiths in a different invisible men! I mean you even let your governments tell you what to think, and what substances you can and can not ingest. Like sheep.... You even let them hide us from you... I still remember when jbveufcja crashed in New Mexico.... sad day. We run around fighter pilots, trying to observe the behaviors.... and they deny us! You can neither see what you do not wish to see, nor can you admit to seeing anything you do see. We want to discuss interstellar travel and great literature from the few accomplished humans. We want to give you knowledge. At the current rate of eveloution, we will be able to converse with you, and you will have a coherent means of understanding in roughly seven million of your years. Forgive my English, is is difficult to translate our complex language into the simple forms you use.

Assuming they are not preditors here for a snack that removes all animals, or to drain all of the Earth's water, or just shatter the planet into an asteroid field so it is easier for them to mine the minerals ... a peacefull and intelligent alien species might want to discuss philosophy, or just share "total history" stories of each other's home worlds ... or exchange musical concepts and tonal stimulations.

robo puppies! oh, and ethanol.

They'll want to talk about Britney Spears showing her CHOANCH to the world. :)

Paris Hilton

Why Brittney shaved her head. Why Paris won't eat. Why Bush is still "running the show". :) jaykaay.

Mars wants Women!

They will want to know the current leaders, wheather, and where they can find some grub. After being discusted by the fact that we eat other orginisms and just eating a burger anyway will want more thus wiping out the human race. And cow race.

WHAT is going on with Britney?

If they mention one syllable about Oprah, even if they just say "Op", I'm outta here.

I'm guessing it'll be an aquamarine species, thinking of starting a penal colony in the ocean. We'll agree, since we don't live in the ocean anyway. But then the pioneers will come, population will explode, our ships will be sunk for 'trespassing', all the fish will be killed as 'pests', there'll be a big war, lots of humans will die, the rest will become slaves, eventually slavery will be abolished, eventually we'll regain the right to vote, we'll live on reserves drinking some alien version of metho, living off some alien version of dole payments ...

i live with one, and he thinks he can trick me by saying 'im your brother' yada yada yada ;) and all he talks about is surfing and random movies..!!

Why would they talk? I'm not sure that it is even safe to assume that they would have mouths, or communicate vocally. Since that life would have arisen in a completely different world, it is unlikely that they would look anything like a Earth creature in any way. Also, Phil Plait, the Bad Astronomer points out that of all the life on the Earth, only one species has developed the kind of intelligence that we humans possess. It is therefore reasonable to assume that intelligence is not highly selected for by evolution, assuming that they would be breeding creatures subject to evolution. That, coupled with the immenseness of the universe, makes it seem unlikely that we will ever encounter beings with whom we could speak.

Probibly about there past.

Like every news channel. The most annoying event of the year, the race between Obama and Paris Hilton I mean clinton. i guess i was hoping it was hilton.

Where can we find Ellen Ripley?

Probably want directions or something stupid like that yo...

sex

They would probably want to know how we got so messed up.

they would want to know why blond jokes are funny.

I don't know but you can bet not a single one says "Scientology".

I would want to know everything they know. If they're visiting us then they are far more advanced than us. I would love to spend hours talking about nothing in particular.

They will ask why we kill each other and deplete and kill the entire earth.

More than likely they'll want to know where to get cheap fuel. that's not so easy

Paris Hilton

I don't think they would be interested in conversation much. I think they would just take what they want and leave, but attack us first, or just kill all human kind and inhabit the planet.

"You know that show cops...we love it"

I hope they don't talk about taking over the world or eliminating the human race. I'd rather be dead before that happens. Death must be better than enslavement or annihalation!

They would like to talk about why we build weapons of mass distruction, and when we intend using them.

chess

they would problably tell us to take better care of our enviornment again

Depends on how friendly or aggressive they are just like when you meet someone you dont know.