i would ask them to come in and have some chocolate cake with me :)

I would say "Nanoo Nanoo" and offer the Mork from Ork handshake. Then I would quickly check for any probing devices to make sure I was safe.

I'm ordering pizza, what kind do you want?

He would say, "You haven't had much rain, have you?"

Get your ship out of my flowers, asshole.

Take me with you, this planet sucks!

Get the hell off the grass, and take your shoes off if you come in! LOL

i would yell grenade! chuck a nad at the entrence, strap c4 to the ship, run down the block and watch the firey orange explosion.. then say ohh ohh sht i forgot my sister..

My cars still in the shop is it?

Hi aliens! We are friends:)

I would say get your ass from back there unless you plan on cutting the grass and cleaning up the dog crap!

Yelp! And bark at it with the rest of the dogs in the neighborhood. ...Than run away when it gets too close. Stop and bark some more...lol No I'd probably freak out and lock all my doors and windows, take a picture, send it to the news and hope they take it from there.

HI!! Any English? How's the trip? You hungry? Do you have lunch plans?

How much did I drink last night?!

Where have you been?

*passing the blunt* your turn

I really couldn't say what I would do in that situation. I know that I would be terrified.

Take me away

shoot it with the biggest gun I own

I would pinch myself and say:" Is this a dream?" +4

Nothing, I don't speak to my ex. :o)

Do you have some kind of technology to keep me in a constant state of eating crumpets and tortillas, whilst drinking pepsi max, mountain dew and iced coffee, and also playing world of warcraft, as well as having an implant in my head to give me orgasms 24/7? No? Fuck off.

We really have to stop meeting like this. Come to the front door next time.

I would be really shocked and kinda terrified.

Before anything else, I'd try to find a way to communicate. Second, I'd probably offer it something to drink. xD

Why you asking that question? are you afraid if that will happen one day

First I would say the word and then do the word in my pants.

I honestly don't know what I would do. It's easy to say , but it's such an unfathomable possibility to me that I would likely cross that bridge when I came to it. I'm typically calm in any situation, so I doubt I would panic. Then again, the form and demeanor of the life form may take me to a state I am not familiar with.

Please take me with you.

film it and auction it off to highest bidder. just a 10 sec film can make be a rich guy :P

I'd say, "Honey! I've finally decided to stop drinking..."

Id shoot him. Im sure any alien who came to earth has to be hostile. then id steal the spaceship.

Nobody ever on earth ran as fast as I would!!! Screaming MAAAAMAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

seeing you said he landed in my garden I'd ask him....Want a tomato?

Welcome, outlander. What brings you to Terra?

I would be really cross! It has taken a lot of effort to get those parnips to grow - this is the first time I have attempted to grow parsnips, and frankly, I would be very cross indeed if any alien landed anywhere near them!!!Not to mention the effect of a spaceship landing on my other veggies! Oh! That alien would experience a swift smack on the bottom if it dared to disturb by growing plans!!!!!!

Want a beer?

1. I'm not taking you to any leaders. If you don't want to chat with me, then bugger off now. 2. The dorg stays here. And so do I, until I know you better. 3. I hope you're planning to return the lawn to the condition it was in prior to landing. It's not much of a lawn, I know, but I like it the way it is. 4. The neighbors keep odd hours; don't mind them. 5. It's a tight fit among the trees there; mind the ship on takeoff. 6. I hope you've properly shielded any radioactive or toxic materials. Bio-hazard protection is your responsibility. Let's prevent any unintended pregnancies and cross-contaminations, shall we? 7. Don't be alarmed when I fire up the grill; if your intentions seem friendly then I don't expect to kill you and eat you. I have my own favorite foods that I keep in the house and bring outside to cook from time to time. But that's just a "friendly expectation" for now, if you understand that language. We humans can turn on a dime, and we often act unilaterally and quickly. 8. You haven't understood a fucking word I said, have you? Take off; get outta here. I haven't got time for this, and I don't want my picture on the cover of National Inquirer. 9. How do you like your gin & tonic?

Hide, and watch

Depends, Zeta Reticulan, Reptilian or Pleidian? If it's those god darn greys I'm grabbing the weed whacker. Otherwise I'm inviting them inside for some coffee.

Welcome to our world...do you understand English?are you guys evil???? WARNING:-You'll cant be more evil than us.lol:-D