What are the most common mistakes made by single moms or dads?
by 
lil_mother86
ANSWERS: 38
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They rush...
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Tend to let things slide.....
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My friends who are single parents tend to not ask for much needed help. They try to do everything on their own when there are people willing to help. I also noticed that they don't have any social life because they either feel guilty or they don't trust anyone around their kids.
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In a split family, I see alot of "Tell you mom this..." or "Oh yea? You're dad needs to know that..." etc. Kids are not the messangers here.
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Feeling guilty about the divorce/whatever they think they should feel guilty about, so they let things go unpunished or they buy them gifts hoping that will make the kids feel better so they don't start to dislike their parent. Baaad! Very bad!
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Putting down the other parent to the child, putting the child in the middle of the fighting, arguing about the child, showing violence between each other, fighting for custody, Just playing tug of war...... The child has a right to see each parent. The child has the right to see two adults getting along for the sake of the child.
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#1 They work to much. #2 they try to make up for what they dont get from the other parent(if they are absent all together). Today my 2 yr old opened over $200 worth of presents from me. all he ended up playing with the most was a slinky($0.88) and a walking dinosaur($10) #3 They are over protective. I wont even date guys any more because I dont want it to get serious and my son get to attached. He is too smart. He hasnt seen his daddy since his 2nd b-day 6 months ago and he still asks everyday where da-da went.
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# Accepting a new partner into their life before the children have had time to adjust to changes which have occurred in their home due to their parents separation. # Allowing a new partner to become a higher priority than the children. # Allowing a new partner to interfere in the relationship between the children and their parents. # Accepting a new partner into the home in a live in situation and entrusting the children into their care without having known that person for any length of time. # Allowing or insisting that children call their parents new partner daddy or mommy. # Forcing the children to accept the new partner as full time parent and authority before the children have had time to adjust and come to terms with the loss of their other parent from their daily life.
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raise the kids as if they have a single parent (either mom or dad)...
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splitting up
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Guilt. They tend to let their children run their lives, because they feel guilty. Parents neglect themselves. That does nothing to help the children. In the end it makes them vulnerable and set up for failure in the future.
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letting "things" like the playstation or the television be the other parent.
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Thinking that they have to have another parent around to be a good parent and to have a healthy household. Too many single parents attach to a member of the opposite sex to 'complete' the family, bringing this person in too quickly and causing major issues for the child in both the short and long term.
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Letting guilt control your decisions. Trying to be their best friend.
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being a friend to their child instead of a parent. I think it results from 1)guilt over "breaking up" the household, and 2)guilt from feeling they don't spend enough time with the child. No matter what else happens in life, your child will never have another set of biological parents. The bio parent is responsible for providing the child with the tools needed to grow into a mature person, who is willing and able to be responsible for themselves and their actions. Kids need rules and boundaries, and without, they are not able to function in a society that will expect them to conform to acceptable norms.
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Upon meeting my second husband online - we talked 7 months before meeting. After we met he told me to choose between my ex husand and him! I couldn't believe it - I had already decided him. His best advice after this was to stop going to my ex's house, even to pick up my daughter. This way, I did not have the heart ache of seeing my pets (I couldnt take them with due to new living arrangements) and other stuff every time I was there -- I finally realized that - that I was putting myself through termoil every time I went there & also being pulled into helping my ex with other erronds and stuff. Since then, I have reformed my life! I have stayed away - that was the best way to make a clean break and move on with my life.
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That they don't need help from their family sometimes.
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Talking bad about the absent parent. My ex never sees my daughter and is just horrible to her, but I never tell her exactly how I feel. I never talk bad about him to her.
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not being there for their children
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My mom and dad divorced when I was 6. So my mom has pretty much been a single mother for most of my life. Whereas my dad has been more like a buddy who pays child support. And I gotta say she did a damn good job of raising me by herself and I wouldn't trade her for the world. But I would say her worst mistake was that she let stress get the best of her too much. But I don't blame her.
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I beleive that many (especially the women) have it hard when alone and are far more apt to take on a partner that really doesn't suit them because thay are lonely or are hoping to get the support of a spouse. What ends up happining is just another messy split. Single parents need to be very careful I think.
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Probably trying to assuage their own guilt over not spending enough time raising their children, by overindulging them with treats and toys and by not correcting their children when they misbehave.
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spoiling kids rotten, not giving them responsibilities which help them to feel accomplised and learn independence, feeling guilty of the situations that the kids are left in so they feel that if they dicipline it would make them feel worse...and it don't. some parents have to work too hard to make ends meet that they end up not spending quality time with kids. and other parents think that the money is suffice and its not...their is a reason why God gave kids a father and a mother if not he would have just named them the "caregiver" and the "provider' but somehow he gave them names!!!
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Spoiling them or moving in with a new s/o
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Not staying with their partners?
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Not being married.
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Check out for these informative articles, it might help..http://www.parentteen.com/single_parenting.html http://www.parentingteens.com/index/Other+Teen+Issues/Single+Parenting+of+Teens
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Using their kids against the ex usually or heaping too much responsibility on the kids at an early age, (latch key kids)
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One is feeling guilty because you can't be with them as much and so you give them whatever they want.
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Becoming a single mom or dad.
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Get married again
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I could tell ya, but it would be a tad too graphic for the AB non-adult page!
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Indulging their children to compensate for having a one parent family.
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Allowing their hormones come before their children.. I see this all the time. why worry about other men and women just focus on your children
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Having sex without using birth control.....that was the first mistake...The list i could provide showing you the other 400 mistakes would take too long to post here...But you get the idea I hope. If you don't then your probably one who the list is describing.
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There are so many.. Most depends on your mind set and the mind sets of the kids. I was a single dad and I spanked my son much to often because of behavior and didn't take into account it was because of me being such a jerk to him as a kid. I did manage to spend plenty of time with them though and reap the rewards to this day. I'm 50 and they are in their 20s..we get along great now and I no longer act like buddies with them, just their dad.
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Thinking you can or have to do everything yourself. I've been offered help many times that I refuse to accept. In retrospect, it probably could have made my life a lot easier.
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They try to give their child material things to make up for the absence of a parents. But married parents do this too! They think presents are better than time!
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