Im on a 70 year vacation of course! DUH!!! lol

I'm here on a long-duration cultural observation assignment. We need to learn about your culture and languages before we make official contact.

I'm lost.

We come for "soylent green"

im just here for the ladies.. there pretty hot on earth nothing like the ones from out jupiter and saturn.

I'm not one, no. Sorry to disappoint. But I can put you in touch with one. He's very shy, so I'll need something to lure him out. Being an alien, he finds number sequences attractive, so all I need is a credit card number and the security digits on the back. Hang on a tick... Huh? Oh, he just said that he likes American Express numbers best, and he doesn't like Diner's club.

We are here to tease and put some 'mystique' into the lives of you pathetic Earthlings.........

Not much... trying to blend in as much as possible!

Our planet has become too hot for survival and so we have spread out into the solar system. Earth is the closest to the way our planet used to be. It was once the third planet from the sun, but the sun swallowed the planet closest to itself. It has been steadily expanding over many eons. We keep amongst ourselves to avoid discovery. The "missing link" was a Venutian who became too involved with early Earth fauna. We wish to avoid artificially advancing the race any further. We live longer than humans. Our life cycle would be best explained as similar to the phoenix of your stories. We retain some knowledge, but we must re-learn much with every regeneration. Everything since our move to Earth must be remembered all over again. We find it quite humerous that humans are obsessed with abduction. Especially anal probing. It was only one guy... could you just let it go already? We do abduct, but we must study the human race as it develops so we can subtract any Venutian varibles that may hurt successive generations. We are sorry about Roswell. Kleborb knew better than to drink and drive. The military really doesn't have him or very much evidence, we have taken it to avoid further studies. We are sorry about Michael Jackson, we did not know that the atmosphere of the Earth would have such adverse reactions on our friends from Uranus. We invited them... we are sorry. We do have people in the government... and no, sorry, but you cannot blame Bush on us, even Plutonian ice worms are smarter than that. You cannot point us out, we are part of you, you resemble us. We know the differences, but they would be hard for a human to detect. Once, a very long time ago, we tried to colonize Mars. It did have life... but we accidently damaged the atmosphere. The atmosphere escaped into space. Live and learn... The hole in the Ozone layer of Earth was much the same type of accident, luckily we have it under control for now. It is great fun to mess with people by flying our spaceships here. One day you will catch on... well, hopefully. Why am I telling you this? Well, you wont believe me, so where is the harm?

We are there ant farm,why would they want to live amongst us.

I'm here to have fun with anal probes.

I am one, with myself... Im just sitting out here watching airplanes...

I came to this planet to admire the splendour of Tepoztlan (Mexico)... we extraterrestrials love Tepoztlan, don't you know.

heard that women out here are real beautiful and gorgeous .. so came to dish out some of them =D

Stealing your womenfolk

After my planet blew up, I followed an amateur radio signal and crashed into Willie's garage. Haven't been able to repair the ship yet, so that I can leave.

Slumming. How about you?

i'm alientating you i reckon.

Damn! Now you've gone and blown my cover! Sigh. Well, I may as well tell you. We thought at first that we could help you Terrans grow beyond your selfishness and ethnocentrism, but now we're not so sure. If nothing else, at least we can use you as the bad example other civilizations can learn from.

Just gathering intel for an invasion... You humans have pathetic weaponary don't you?

What you have to understand is that my parents were born in space, en route to this planet. It took thousands of years for us to get here and, for the last two generations, the only transmissions we could receive were your sitcom reruns. We don't really feel like aliens anymore. Before we landed, we adopted your dress, language, and customs. I was born here and am a citizen of this country - therefore eligible to run for President - which I considered. Of course, sneaking in to earth was hard. It would be nearly impossible now with all of the safeguards, satellites, and defensive systems in place. We (my parents) had to leave our main vessels in space on self-destruct and ride in on a storm through the atmosphere to arrive undetected. My dad immediately looked for work. He initially sought employment in Ricky Ricardo's band and was distressed to learn that neither Ricky nor Lucy were real people. He had so hoped to get us an apartment in Ethel and Fred's building. My parents were also discouraged to discover that Mork from Ork was not a fellow traveler. They, however, established themselves and raised us the best they could in Fresno. After so many generations of living in the self-sustaining environment of a large spacecraft, my folks were quite experienced in various forms of agriculture and actually. Most aliens are farmers you know although some make fine engineers. Recently, several have decided to run for public office. As to our purpose in exploration, it is the same as yours: curiosity. However, the tragedy is that we know far more about this world than the one from whence we came (we do have books, audio, and what you call video libraries, but they all come from ancient times). We have no means of communication with our solar system and if we did communicate, our grandchildren would be deceased before the message arrived. So there is your answer. I am safe in divulging this family secret in light of the fact that no one will believe it anyway.

Consuming mass quantities.

Yes, I've seen lots of wetbacks in Texas and California. The only aliens here are humans from other countries. Some are legal and some are illegal. ETs can't come here.

i dont think so

Any citizen of another nation is an alien. I am an alien in all nations but Japan and the USA. The only aliens present are from other nations. ET aliens can never come here.

rnaybe

I have seen many illegal aliens, mostly from Mexico but also from France and England. As for ET aliens, they can never come here. The fuel demands for interstellar travel can never be met. Our fastest rockets would require 78,000 years to reach the nearest planet outside our own Solar System. If hydrogen fusion could ever be harnesses to propel spaceships, we need a mass of hydrogen 1,600,000,000 times as large as the ship, and we must find a way to carry it along, so that requires much more hydrogen, and we have infinite progression. If matter-antimatter reaction could be harnesses, we need a mass of antimatter 40,000 times as large as the ship plus and equal amount of matter to react with it. Once again, we have infinite progression. Interstellar distances are incredibly vast, so matter can never travel fast enough to ever overcome them. The speed limit of matter is severely limited, as the Lorentz Equations show. Another problem is that excess acceleration kills living things. When we consider all of these factors, we realize that interstellar travel is not feasible.

Extraterrestrial life has never been seen. The search for aliens relies primarily on radio signals. It's a question that continues to fascinate humans.

The definition of an alien is an unknown species and I’m sure there are many of them deep in the oceans and deep in the forests that people have not encountered maybe because the areas are uninhabitable for humans. The real aliens are not the type that some people believe in which belong in sci-fi movies. I am here to answer questions so I can share my thoughts, knowledge, experience and understanding in different things.