2 words...... Couple counselling.

I wouldn't read too much in to the wedding ring on the hook in the shower. My husband takes his off and usually puts it on his watch band. Yours may have taken it off while showering and forgot to put it back on. The bigger concern is that you say he is mentally abusive. If that is true, then you need to decide for yourself (and your kids, if any) to do what you need to do to protect yourself and live a happy and healthy life. Most married couple argue from time to time, but if you feel all you ever do is argue with him, see if he will go to counseling with you. If he won't go to marriage counseling, you may have to make the decision to put up with it or leave. Marriage SHOULD be forever, but marriage SHOULDN'T be about anger or abuse or mental manipulation. If you know you can not be happy with him, or that he will not treat you properly, get out.

Read "The Glass Menagerie". Enough said. -edit- I think this relates because your question reminds me of the mom in the play and how she pushed her husband away. (I hope you're not really like her. Please tell me I'm wrong).

i'm not married, but i am a sucker. i wouldnt worry about the ring: dont assume malice where stupidity will explain. mental abuse isnt cool. and i dont know why guys lie about where they go. but is he going somewhere he ought not be when he lies about it? it sucks. leave if you want.

I can't tolerate a liar divorce his a$$

No abusive man deserves any woman! Leave or make him leave! U can find soo much better!!!

Glass Menagerie? How does that relate? I read it (long time ago) and it's about (if I recall) a dumb girl who reads too much into some guy she barely knows and already has a woman of his own. Anyway, Why are you so attached to someone who is so bad to you and for you? You're like desperate to hang onto him, when obviously when he's around, you don't even get along with the guy! What is SO great about him that you've decided it's worth taking verbal and mental abuse from him, decided you don't mind that he's cheating on you (because that's the only reason he'd have to LIE about where he is - he's definitely NOT at the barber shop getting his hair done & lying about it), and now YOU'RE the one stressing out that he's taken off HIS wedding ring!?! You should have taken yours off the first time he walked in the door late and lied to you about where he'd been! Look, I don't know anything about you, but you can't be so bad that no one in the world would want to date you or marry you. There are hiddeous women, skinny women, fat women, women who can't have kids, women who have 11 kids, and all women in between who have at least semi-happy relationships with men. My question to you is: why are you acting like this is the last man on earth you have a chance to be happy? If all these women out there have found men who make them HAPPY, why shouldn't you?

Wen he comes home tonight im going to have my BESt FRIEND there because I am Afraid he is finally going to hit me, and once a guy hits u once... Hell do it again and again! He's pushed me so i kno wat the next step is 4 him.

Trust is the basis of any successful long term relationship. The relationship you describe doesn't include any trust between the parties. Unless you want your life to be a constant argument, unless you want to continue to be abused, it's time to make a change. I think you probably realize that, but it isn't easy to do it. You mentioned in a comment that a child is involved. Ask yourself, is the life you are currently living a good example to that child of a loving, safe home? You aren't doing the child any favors by staying in a destructive relationship. If you leave, you are giving the child an example of strength to overcome obstacles and courage to change that which is unacceptable. You cannot change your husband, so the only alternative is to change your life, yourself. I know this will be difficult, whatever you decide. You can get emotional support from groups in your area - do a google search for resources for abused women in your town.

Take it from someone who grew up with a loser dead beat father, I would have SO prefered growing up WITHOUT him. He was the same way with my mother - still is. And that isn't teaching your daughter much about men or relationships. Would you want her to learn from this situation and decide that that's what men are like? When she looks for someone when she's older that's what she's going to gravitate towards, and then she's going to end up feeling the ecaxt same way you do right now. Is your Dad still around? Do you have male cousins or brothers? She could still have a male figure in her life - just not a loser like her dad. She needs someone she could look up to and actually learn something GOOD about this life - and so do you. You BOTH deserve to have this jerk out of your life. And when you hit him up for child support, the government will take it right out of his check - it won't be your problem anymore when he dedices to blow all his money on something stupid, cuz you'll be getting paid no matter what. There's welfare (I know that's not the ideal option - but it's for poeple with unexpected life events and you'd deserve it more than people who just pop out kids so they can get paid) with him gone, you'd be happier & more motivated to get it together so you could take a class & get a better job or a promotion. See if someone would be willing to teach you Quickbooks or a bookkeeping software so that you could look for a bookkeeping position somewhere - most places are flexible with hours for beookeepers or you could work at a big company that may have a daycare or something. Either way, when you stop being unhappy, your daugher will pick up on that and she will be better off in the long run.

You seem like a genuinely good person, a great mom, etc. I'm sure you'll meet someone great and he'll be even sweeter than the man you married. I know it's hard letting go, but what if the man you married was just an ac to get you to marry him in the first place? When you do find the right person who's going to talk it out instead of fight with you, rub your feet when you get off of work, have intelligent conversations with you over dinner, you're going to be so glad you didn't wait around for this guy you have now to change back. I really do hope everything turns out great for you, I'm glad you're going to have your friend with you, and let someone else know, a guy you can count on, what your plans are so you can call them if he starts getting loud - he sounds like HE'S the deperate one. He probably knows if he loses you he'll never get another woman to put up with his crap. Let me know what happens. I think my email is on my profile - or just leave a comment & I'll get it. Good luck.

if hes being abusive i would dump him

Go to therapy. tell him you'd like him to go with you. If he reguses you go alone. It's that simple.