My boyfriend is a pathological liar, has attempted to cheat on me, has been caught looking at porn, going to strip clubs, has abused me in every way possible. Is it possible for someone like this to change?
by 
solitude
ANSWERS: 36
-
No, stop trying to change him. Its how he is. But on the other hand, looking at porn, and going to strip clubs is not cheating. Its a typical guy thing, and a way of cheating without cheating. Seems as if someone is insecure and is accusing the b/f of doing something they arent. But I dont know...I'm just guessing by the limited information I have in front of me.
-
I'm going to be rude, because obviously the signs you're seeing just aren't enough to get through to you. He's a filthy liar, a cheating bastard, and you're an enabler. Why the HELL are you still considering being with this guy? Still calling him your boyfriend? Did you have some kind of physical trauma that is blocking your neurons from reaching their destination? Quite simply, if you stay with him, you deserve every bit of pain you get. You should ask yourself why you have such low self-esteem that you need to let this guy wipe his shoes on your back.
-
No. How many chances are you going to give him? Tell him to go away. He will not change. He has proven that he values his wants over your needs.
-
Soorryy, People never change. Why don't you call him up and break it up. Then have yourself a nice cup of tea. :]
-
Anything is possible but it doesn't look good. The two things you have said that don't hold much hope are pathological liar and he is abusive. Frankly, if he is getting away with this and you are still there for more...what would be his motivation to work on changing his behavior?
-
Oh sure, they can worse as time goes by.
-
While he is with you, and you allow him to do this by remaining with him, then he will never change. Hopefully one day he will understand that this behaviour of abusing you is wrong and will change his ways once he is long gone from your life. If he lays a hand on you, call the police and break up with him. He doesn't love you if he can put a hand to you to cause you harm. Plus why would you want the risk of getting a sexual disease because he cheats on you? Break it off now, before you allow yourself to talk yourself out of it. Don't let yourself be the silent victim. You are doing no one, not even your "boyfriend" any good. You are not doing him good cause you are teaching him that this is good behaviour and therefore will never be a decent human being. It is not doing you good because you get both physically and mentally harmed. If he tries to come after you, get an order of protection. Please, for your own sake, get him the hell away from your life.
-
Anything is possible with people. My boyfriend stopped doing some of the things you have mentioned, but he still lies a lot. I think that you can change what the person does behind your back, but they will always lie about anything. What worked for me is always being there for him and show him that you care, and maybe he will feel bad and change his ways. If he doesn't eventually control himself, then you should leave him. Especially if he physically abuses you!
-
Doubtful.Why not change your situation and dump him?
-
Anything is possible but it is highly unlikely after all since you continue to stay with him why should he change?
-
Why take the chance he won't? He obviously has more mental problems than the average person can deal with. Throw the bum out!
-
If he is actually a pathological liar, no, he will not change. He has given no evidence obviously that he is willing to change and franking, has too many problems to work on for it to happen any time soon. Unless he gets an epiphany from god, he's only going to treat you worse. He's not your friend. Find someone who respect himself and you.
-
He sounds like a sex addict. you can't change him, he has to WANT to change himself. He needs to start out in a 12 step program like SAA
-
No, except to get worse as time goes on. I have been there and believe me, they only get worse. You are too good for this.
-
This sounds almost exactly like my (evil) ex. No, he will not change. And I would leave him, the sooner the better. You don't need someone like that in your life. You need to be able to be happy in a relationship, and happy with yourself. My ex turned out to be engaged to another woman. He cheated on me and then rubbed it in my face to hurt me. Eventually, he and one of his friends raped me. Things with your boyfriend might not turn out to be so extreme, but it is still worth it to get out while you can.
-
MAGIC 8 BALL SAYS....STOP HOLDING YOUR BREATH BEFORE YOU PASS OUT...GET OUT OF DODGE!!!!!! Key words...pathological liar! NO, NO, NO, NO...and you KNOW THIS...run away, run away, flee flee! You might consider MOVING to another state as well...I'm not kidding! You deserve so much better than this...so take all the great advice everyone has taken the time to post for you and drop this looser before he advances to really hurting you in a more forever manner.
-
NO, he is a pyschopath. Studies are realizing they are everywhere. They cant feel like a normal person, therefore lack empathy and understanding. And for those who think pyschopaths are all killers, wrong.. most arent, they are polititians, judges, surgeons.. you name it... people who love power but lack emotion.
-
Rather than asking if HE might change, ask yourself instead, why are you attracted to him if he has this kind of behavior, and is it possible for YOU to change?
-
No.
-
sounds like you weren't satisfying him in bed... that's all. If a man is going through that much trouble for a thrill it's probably because you are unattractive, or a real prude in the sack. Don't blame him for his basic needs... LOL I'd lie to you too...
-
RUN GIRL!!! Don't look back!
-
Get rid of him...dont live your life in worry. Life is too short to worry and be unhappy. Leave him and see if he changes and if he doesnt then move on.
-
YOU need to change. Change your taste in men, change boyfriends, figure out why you want to even toy with the idea of staying with this jerk.
-
nope, he won't change.
-
Leave him now.
-
What is keeping you staying with him? Yes, it only gets worse. He sounds like he needs some emiotional healing. Yes, it is possible for anyone to change and I know that. Lying and porn and abuse well thats an addition that he either inherited thru behavior from childhood or past. You must really love him to stay. Long as you are not staying because you are insecure and just need him. You have to be strong for him now. Well, first off if he wants help then fine, stay. But if not then I see no point in staying in an unhealthy relationship. I have seen others (the healthy partner) stuggle and go for counceling just to know how to help the other unhealthy one and it is hard if they are not willing to change.
-
In my opinion....No. Atleast not on his own.
-
No, he won't change, YOU have to change - leave him asap!!
-
Why change when he is on to a winning formula. Why are you still with him?
-
only if he really wants to. and he has to know he did something wrong. but to me it seams that he doens't respect you becaseu he doen't respect himslf. it will take a long time for him to get better. you don't want to wait forever. is he really someone you love... or do you just tink you can't get someone better becasue he made you believe it?
-
The person who needs to change is you. Think of it this another way. Do you like being lied to? Are you a low life who deserves to be cheated on? Are you ignorant? HELL NO!!!!!! SOOOOOOOO don't waste your precious time on a lying, cheating, sneak peak, backbonless, coward who enjoys the pain he inflicks on others to change! YOU CHANGE!
-
It sounds like he is a sex fien. it sounds like he might have a sex addiction. If so, nothing will satisfy him. It looks like it is time to move on. There is better out there and there will be someone for you who will treat you with respect and dignity. Save your heart now.........end the relationship. This won't affect him, he is too involved with the other addiction in his life. Good luck :))
-
yes chances are no this is an old question, moving along.
-
NOPE!!!!!!! You should get out now.
-
people never change
-
and your still with him,do you know the meaning of the word BOY FRIEND . its a guy that is your friend, this guy is more like enemydog, no he will not change, dump the dog far away so he cant find his way home!!!!!
RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC