You should talk about why it bothers you so much, and perhaps acknowledge that there's something about your husband that you're going to have to learn to cope with. If you want your husband to change, then you'll have to figure out a way to get him more interested in your limits. Perhaps there's a way for both of you to find what you're really looking for.

If a married man constantly visits porno sites, there is something definetely wrong with his home and sex life. if a man is being fulfilled at home, sexually, porno sites should not be needed. The computer is an easy access to many wonderful sites of information and to many sites that create havoc in ones home. If your husband has been caught visiting porno sites more than once, face it, he has a problem. when he apologizes should tell you that he needs psychological attention and cannot help himself. you both need counseling, together. If this continues, it will destroy your marriage. you will always wonder why? if your husband is this deep into porno, chances are he is also a frequent visitor to x-rated porno shops and massage parlors. porno is addictive, just like drugs and gambling. seek professional help, before its too late.

First, you need to explore why it is that the pornography is a problem for you. There is nothing inherently wrong with porn, it is a tool; nothing more. If it is affecting your life in other ways (i.e. he prefers masturbation to actual human intimacies, or he spends too much money on porn, etc.) then there is indeed a problem, and he should seek professional help; as this could indeed be an addiction. If, on the other hand, there are no other problems stemming from this, then it is really unfair to expect him to give this up (just as it would be unfair to force a woman to give up her vibrator(s) ). EDIT: Steffie12, of course you should be allowed to have a vibrator. If he's unwilling to see that then he doesn't deserve your attention. eternal0void, are you claiming that male masturbation doesn't "keep the 'equipment' in working order" in the same way as female masturbation? EDIT: eternal0void, sorry, I thought th e"idiot" you were referring to was me, and that you were claiming that a vibrator was OK, while porn was not.

Here is a somewhat dissenting opinion. Whatever you do, don't blame yourself for not fulfilling his needs. I know that some of the other answers to this question imply that if a man's needs are fulfilled in the relationship, he won't go looking at/for pornography. This makes a woman feel like she isn't doing enough. Don't fall for that line - it's one of the oldest in the book . It's like telling the husband of a shopaholic, that if only he earned more money, his wife wouldn't feel so insecure that she tries to resolve her insecurity by purchasing things that make her feel more secure. It was explained to me many years ago by a counsellor, that some people are such bottomless pits of need - whether emotional, sexual, etc. - that no partner can fulfill them and they will only exhaust and damage themselves by trying to do so. If you have told him that it bothers you a lot, he apologizes and then keeps doing it, it says more about him than it does about you. He has a problem both with honesty and with self-control. It's his problem and there is very little you can do to resolve it, unless he takes ownership of the problem. Even then, you can only help somewhat, you can't do it by yourself. On the other hand, if he is lying by telling you that he won't do it anymore when he has no intention of stopping, he is disrespecting you mightily and that's another problem that he has to take responsibility for. Women easily fall into the trap of feeling responsible for a man's behaviour - the other answers to this question illustrate just how pervasive the belief is that a husband wouldn't 'go looking' if he was 'getting it' at home. In my opinion, that's a load of hooey. If after going for personal and marriage counselling, you cannot come to a real resolution to this, it may be time to realize that there is more separating you than just this one issue. Then it may be time to close the door on the relationship and move on. --- copied from the comment thread because I believe that it is most relevent: I have deliberately not addressed the actual pornography issue in my answer. The issue could be anything from agreeing to get a job and then staying home all day playing video games to running home to mamma whenever things get tough. The point is that the husband agreed to the boundary that was so important to his wife and then flagrantly disregarded the agreement (and her feelings.)

A friend of mine is dealing with this currently. Her husband refuses to give any time or attention to her emotional needs, then gets angry with her because she has problems getting physically interested in someone who treats her as an unwanted intruder except when he wants sex. He chooses to stay up so late that his job (and his safety while driving) are at risk because he won't get enough sleep, just so he can hit the porn. As far as I can tell, men with a porn habit don't want a live female human being (after all, she might actually need him to put out some effort!), they just want body parts. My friend is seriously questioning whether she *can* love a man who has so little affection or regard for her, and I'm not sure I know what to tell her.

I have also found pornography on my boyfriends computer. He tells me that he will stop, but I find more all of the time. He makes it seem like it is no big deal and that I am making a bigger deal out of it than it really is. We hardly ever have sex anymore and I believe this is because he would rather look at porn than me. I told him if he finds porn more attractive than me than he should just tell me that and I could stop worrying about it. I love him and I really want to work things out, but I don't want to feel like he would rather be looking at someone else other than me.

Porn is more preferable to many men than having a real girlfriend. Women have become obsolete unless they are porn actresses during which brief time their sexuality is very marketable. I suggest joining up with other aging women to go live in a hut to allow your man to fulfill his ever fantasy through the porno girls.

I guess I would rather have a man look at pornography once in a while, instead of go with a girlfriend. Believe me, I've been there. Why worry about it?

Leave him alone unless it is child porn or he's trying to meet people. If not, then he's just like every other strait guy & needs to jerk off a few times a day. He's probably been doing it since adolescence & it's normal. Look at it this way, If he does that 1st, he'll last longer for you.

You sound more like his mother than his wife. Are you discussing why he feels compelled to visit these sites? Are you a frigid ice cube in the bedroom? Why are you snooping around? This lack of trust is an issue. I don't poke around in my husband's computer, he is a grown man. I would suggest some marriage counseling so you can get a the root of your situation rather than you trying to monitor him like a bad child.

It's not a big deal. Most people (male & female) look at or have looked at porn. As long as he's not acting out by meeting people, it should be no big deal. Have you ever considered asking him what he finds so appealing about it? Perhaps it could be something you two can share as a turn on.

There may be a chance of pop ups also, because some sites come with them. There are programs out there that can put programs into your computer (picutes, sales pitches, etc). What matters here, is if this habit makes you go without in any way shape or form. Some men have an increased sex life (with his wife), after being turned on by the pics. If you do not get anything, or very little, I would recommend counseling to your husband.

YOU SHOULD GET A VIRUS PROTECTION PROGRAM QUICKLY or you will not have a computer much longer no matter what no one says!

divorce him

My husband is, I think, a porn addict. He now uses porn and tells me he "has no libido and has seemed impotent "to me" for a long time. He tried pills but now doesn't even bother with that. We got to the edge of a divorce and he promised no more porn (this occurred twice). I just put a content block program on my home computer and will put on our second computer shortly. If he refuses councelling to correct this problem I feel the marriage is effectively over. With regard to monitoring him "like a child", I wouldn't condone heroin in my home either unless I wanted to be an enabler. ps. I'm no ice cube!

He is probably addicted if: He gets angry and makes excuses like "12 million men do it so what's the problem?" OR if he uses it instead of having sex with you OR as a prelude to sex with you OR if it seems to be changing his opinion of women OR if he says he no longer finds you physically attractive when he never expressed dissatisfaction with your appearence before. Men, ESPECIALLY pre internet men seem to get addicted to the fantacy more. Maybe because of the annonymous nature of internet porn. In their heads they can still be young and actually have an errection that might last more than 2 minutes. And as long as they pay for "premium time" the "girls" will lie to them all they want. Tell him no more porn in the home, install content block and INSIST on councelling. If he won't admitt he has a problem and won't agree to remedial councelling etc.,----bye bye you sad sad excuse for a real man.

Men look at porn for a number of reasons which can include; a way to ecaspe life when it gets to hard for them, a quicker way to jack off, a way to release any tention they are under, porn is basicly a way for men to escape or do things faster. I am a person who is not happy about the whole porn thing but i guess that i have to deal with it as i understand why some men need to do it.

I feel for you. I was in a similar situation. Your husband is addicted and will lie again, and again. You are impacted badly. It is a difficult call as staying will keep torturing you emotinally and diminish your self-esteem. I know I cannot live in such situation - but that is me. Blessings.

Is he treating you right? Is he cheating on you (I do not consider looking at porn cheating)? As long as he is not doing the kiddie porn thing, and he is loving you, I say give him his space. Also, when making love, he may also be thinking about other women as well... or the porn.....The main thing is that he is only with you...

Ask him to stop and then STOP looking for it. Porn is awful, but if he needs it, let him. I know you'll always hate him for it but will still love him. Just know that EVENTUALLY, he will stop. There's only so much porn on the internet anyway.

My general view... put him on an age limiter :P like 8-12 year old on his parental controls. That'll teach him :P

From a Christian mans perspective. I was introduced to pornography at an early age. Ever since, I've been "engaged" in self-gratification even into my marriage. There are so many facets and dimensions to this sin that to give a blanket summary would not only insult your intelligence it would never suffice. The sick must see their need for a physician otherwise there will be no need to seek healing. That is his preliminary step. Your responsibility as his covenant partner is to love him. I realize this sounds flippant and cliché but nevertheless it is the truth. In order to love him IN (not FOR) his sin you will have to receive the love of Christ for your own SIN. Once you have a handle on the REALITY of Gods love for YOU through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, (Not Santa Clause) then you will SEE that the beam in your own eye has prevented you from seeing clearly to help your "friend" remove the speck from his eye. If you feel he is your enemy not your friend then you are to treat him like an enemy. I'll let you study the scriptures or ask your "Christian friends" how to do that. Loving your enemy is not a natural ability. It must come from YOUR intimacy with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. It is His power in you working through you to empower you to affect an eternal change in your enemy, which will compel him to be God’s friend thus now your friend. Disclaimer: if any of this advice is used to manipulate or control another individual then it enters the realm of witchcraft and cannot be associated with the love of God which is unconditional. Wes Smith

I also was addicted to pornography. I would seek it out anywhere I could find it. When I got a computer and the Internet, it only got worse. Thanks to God and Christ I have overcome this evil and my life has taken many good turns since. Please, sit down with your husband and encourage him to seek help. Try and understand that he has a disease, no different that alcoholism or dependency on drugs. He need to seek professional help immediately. Try and work with him on this. Trust me, he needs your support. My thoughts and prayers will be with you. God bless.

It can be addicting, and he's likely just that - addicted. When he apologizes he probably feels really bad and means it when he says he won't do it again, then for whatever reason - bad day, hasnt had sex in a while, or just plain boredom - he goes back to it. And, he probably feels guilty about it even if you haven't caught him. I think you should try and be understanding and know it probably isn't a reflection on you at all. Maybe tell him that you don't like it but if he feels the need to keep going back he should at least be honest about it.

I'm surprised at the number of people that are bothered by this. My husband has porn and I don't mind a bit. He looks at it when I go on trips or am not around, or when we are too buzy to find time to be close. I think it is a normal part of being a guy and am secure enough in myself and our relationship to not be bothered by it. It is normal behaviour and does NOT mean he is not attracted to you or that he would rather be with somebody else, It just means he's not homosexual (unless of course, you find that kind of porn).

If he lies like a child and behaves like a child get him and you Net Nanny. He obviously needs help controlling himself.

I know it's distressing it's happened to me too and I made a real fuss about it. Problem is most men look at porn and not matter how you nag he'll still look, in fact he'll try to hide the fact he looks. I'd say if everything else is ok between you try to ignore it. It's not going to go away.

Since the questioner hasn't been back to AB since the day this was asked, I think it would be safe to say that she confronted the husband about the porn one time too many and he killed her.

He thinks it is his right to look at whatever he wants to. After all it is his computer. INSTEAD of being angry tell him you don't like it and ask him why he wants to look at other women. Or softcore - hardcore porn...

Well I think you are safe as long as he only looks at the menu but, doesn't eat...it is just him being a man. you have to remember it is only fantasy. Maybe sit down and watch it with him it could warm up your romance. I hope this doesn't offend you.

Stop looking on his computer.

so can u give us the links :)

Looking at porn means that he is not satisfied with you and how you look, so he is probably trying to meet new people. This is just my opinion, and if you take me seriously, i think you should try to help him stop. Try to have more opurtunities to do sexual things with him, so he isn't obsessed with other women. If your husband HAS been contacting other women, he doesn't like you anymore. If he isn't, it's probably just an addiction, so you could try to help him stop.

Well you could leave him... Obviously he enjoys what ever he sees.... I guess your choices burn down to: leave him accept what he looks at cancel his internet account kill him give him the choice of you or his masturbation porno fantasys...

In my opinion, leave. You should not have to put up with someone who lies to you and disrespects you no matter what it's about. This is a repeat problem and I'm afraid it's not going to get any better. Believe me, I've been there and I tried. We set rules and limits and talked and talked and in the end none of it worked. Th efinal straw was when it went from porn to cheating. And this happened more then once by the way. I gave a little and they took it all. Since ther are some many answers on here and I don't want to go through each one since so many are repeats I will give my reasons here on my veiws on this. 1. You always get it is normal for men to want to look at porn and it doesn't hurt them. Not true. Yes, guys are sexual stimulated visually. Yes, beautiful women turn them on. But it's not normal or health for men to actively seek out sexually degrading experiances with women where they are the one's with all the power. And that's what porn is. Doesn't matter how you try to make it look good, it is what it is. When men look at these women that they have no emotinal connection to it rewires their brains to see sex as unemmotinal and a power game. When this happens he loses the ability to emmotionly empathise with his partener on a sexual level. He also fails to bond with her through sex. This is the whole point of sex pschologicly speaking. There is also the added factor that he comes to believe that all women are for his enjoyment because that is the fantasy that gets created over and over. His abilty to communicate with his partner not only about sex but also outside of the bedroom also suffers. After all why should he exert any effort when he only has to pick up a porn to get what he wants? 2.That women who don't like their men looking at porn are sexual insecure and immature. That's backwards. Men who look at porn are usally far more sexually immature and insecure then their partners. Why? Because unlike women who don't look at porn men never have to leave that fantasy world long enough to finish maturing through experiances with real people. They use the porn to shore up that insecurity and immaturity. Women on the other hand have to actually interact with the oppiste sex for sexual gratification so they continue to mature and gain security through sex. She's not hurt so much by the porn as she is by her husband's rejection of her in favore of the porn. It's not the porn tht is an issue it's the rejection. 3.The reason why men turn to porn is because they're not getting what they want in the bedroom. They're gettin everything the ask for in that department. If they're not then they need to start talking to their partner about what they need instead of running for the porn. And guess what she's getting even less of what she needs because of the lack of connection and empathy coupled with his inabilty to talk with her about sex. But unlike him she puts up with it ever hopefull that one day this will change. Why? From the maturity she has gained. That and she respects her partener enough to not go outside of their marriage for sexual gratfication. 4.He turns to porn because she hasn't kept herself up. So not true. She's been buying beauty products and primping and all just to be attractive to him. He on the other hand has done nothing to be attractive for her. But she doesn't care, she married him for him not for his looks. She's also is mature enough to deal with the fact that as we age our bodies change. He isn't because he's locked in that fantasy. To him women must never change. 5.She's frigid. Not so women want sex just as much as men. We just have learned to control our urges. Men have not because once agian they have porn they can run too. 6.Men need porn or they will cheat. That is also reversed. Once the thrill of porn wears off, and it will, they have to find some other way to get that high. Cheating is the next step. Or prostitues and strippers. 7. She needs to lighten up. No, he needs to grow up and respect her as his wife. She has every right to have a say in their sex life. What he does with the porn is just as much a part of their sex life as what they do together. And if he knows he's hurting her he needs to stop if for nothing more then his love for her. That's what grown ups do they take other's feelings into consideration. And these, folks, are my reasons. Let the downrating begin.

You should just buy him gay porn, so that everytime he looks at a porno magazine, he'll picture the gay ones and scream.

First off does he have ann addiction to porn? That is a very real problem is it something he can't stop... For some it doesnt bother them that their partner watches porn but if it bothers you than your husband needs to address the problem and work on it and take steps to stop... If you find something again than the only thing to do is take a stand because as long as he knows you will keep forgiving him he has no reason to stop... Suggest counseling or other options you both feel comfortable with...

Accept the fact that men are much more visually oriented regarding sex than women. There ARE differences between the sexes. How many women get upset with hubby/boyfriend when, after sex, he falls asleep while the woman wants to "come down" gradually and be held and hugged during that time? Which one is right in this situation? Both. Each responds differently physically. The man's makeup causes him to have an almost irresistable urge to go to sleep. The woman's makeup causes her to come down slowly. Same as for building up steam. The man is ready to go almost immediately, while the woman takes time to get going. Isn't that called foreplay? Accept the differences between the sexes and try to achieve the best accommodation you both can work out.

let him breathe for gods sake

Divorce!

this woman is probably besides herself and here we are making jokes about it. well i says my dear... i am going thru the same shit and god does it hurt. i doubt he'll stop cos he is a man and probably not sensitive enough, if he was he'd be gay. truth is, he cares about himself more than he cares about you. its the nature of man, unless he is the dalai lama. the fact that he lied tho is unforgivable. i wont put up with no liars! tell him if he lies again ur out the door. its best for you in the long run. i am doing the same. :)

this woman is probably besides herself and here we are making jokes about it. well i says my dear... i am going thru the same shit and god does it hurt. i doubt he'll stop cos he is a man and probably not sensitive enough, if he was he'd be gay. truth is, he cares about himself more than he cares about you. its the nature of man, unless he is the dalai lama. the fact that he lied tho is unforgivable. i wont put up with no liars! tell him if he lies again ur out the door. its best for you in the long run. i am doing the same. :)

whats the problem? everyone needs their privacy and alone time. as long as it isn't child pornography or beastiality i don't see the problem. unless of course it is affecting your sex life or relationship with him...

its simple.... STOP SNOOPING ON HIS COMPUTER!!! What is wrong with a man looking a porn? I have seen this question in various ways on here. He is a man, thats what he does. Do you try to stop a Bear from pooping in the woods? NO! cuz thats what he does. Same thing here.

Learn to accept that he likes doing this..or leave

If I was in your shoes, miss, I'd give the guy one more chance (1). I, for one, would never do such a thing to my wife and that's not just because my "needs" are satisfied within our relatinship. I find it morally wrong to jack off to other woman when you're in a relationship. It's just unjustified! Ask him why he does it and tell him he's got one lat chance and stick to your word.

Chill out, it's a normal male thing. He's not a pervert or freak or anything like that, he's normal. Give the guy a break and try to reassure yourself that it doesn't take away from your relationship in any way at all. Men like to look at women, women like to look at men, it's natural.

You should stop snooping on your husband.

just look at it with him

Well, If you want him to stop looking - castrate him....wait - that might not work either :(

Hey miss, perhaps you should really start looking for your own problems. Aren't you partially to blame for this behavior which you dislike? Suggest you arrange a romantic candle light dinner on the weekend and bring his memories back to the days when you two stuck to each other like flies to the stinking eggs...sorry for the inappropriate metaphor.

What he is telling you is that what he wants to do is more important to him than both how it makes you feel and what he has promised you. You need to make a decision. Are you willing to live with his behavior, or is this your hill to die on (it would be mine, so I'm not judging you for it)? You cannot force him to change.

Post a picture of you in his porno directory (naked or not).

Stop looking at porn as if it is bad...its a tool that makes masturbation easier, and it may be the only thing stoping him from going out to find another woman. Men are different than women...

Forgive him and think nothing of it! Look at my answer to a question about the appropriateness of pornography and you will se that it isn't something to be shunned but embraced. http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/353021/date_desc

Hmmmm, you're spying in his business and snooping into his computer, then confront a guy for looking at porn? Please, every man looks at porn, You should sit back and take a look at you're priorities if you have nothing better to do than look at you're husbands porn collection.

Instead of looking at this as a problem, maybe you could consider it an opportunity. It may be that he enjoys it and would like you to show interest in it too? Maybe you need to just trust your husband and let him have his porn. Have you tried any of your own?

you ladies have to remember that men are visually stimulated, what would you rather have him do, look and fantasize about other females? or actually be out there with other females? you should be grateful that he is not out there cheating on you. let the men look, what was that rule, you can look, but you can not touch, or stare. now if he'd rather jack off looking a porn while your in the house or on the bed right next to him, then your not keeping him satisfied. and he probably take what ever is thrown at him. ladies if you take care of you man with out complaining, or of he asks you to do something sexual for him just do it..... and if he is talking sexy and he says, (whispering)" Bend over". PLEASE DO NOT..... TALK IN A NORMAL VOICE, its a complete turn off and it gives him the feeling that you just sleeping with him so that he can leave you alone.

that is natural thats our nature it could be hes not been getting the right love that he needs from you maybe he needs more romance

dealt wi it with ex tried to understand men v porn thing but in my case went further than just lookin went on to sex sites n advertising, My genuine advice is yes men do porn, yes we all know this. but end o day if they're willing to go futher then dump dump dump.

Depending upon what type of porn he is looking at, it's perfectly OK. Go rent a porn flick and ask him what he likes about it as you watch it together. You might get a less antagonistic or apologetic response and you may find that it's quite enjoyable, especially together. Nothing wrong with fantasies and maybe between the two of you, they can become reality.

first thing...ask yourself why this bothers you so much...is it excessive? is he neglecting you to look at porn? this may be something you will have to accept about your husband...it sounds like it may be a compulsive behaviour (esp. if he is apologizing and then turning around and doing it again)my advice to you would be to keep the lines of communication open...its the only way to resolve this issue..and please dont listen to the advice given to you that indicates that this is either your fault or that you are lacking in some way. thats bs. your husband looks at porn cause he gets off on it. that has nothing to do with you.

For me to truthfully understand the extent of the situation, I'm afraid I'm gonna need you to send me a copy of everything that was on the computer. Plus, anything from any personal collections that you think my factor in. :-D

I say let him have his pornography. He's not really doing anything wrong. Its not like he's committing adultery.

What is the matter with him watching porn. Watch it with him and see what he does. While he watches kiss on his neck and watch he'll want to have se with you. Do it and try it.

What is the matter with him watching porn. Watch it with him and see what he does. While he watches kiss on his neck and watch he'll want to have se with you. Do it and try it.

What is the matter with him watching porn. Watch it with him and see what he does. While he watches kiss on his neck and watch he'll want to have se with you. Do it and try it.

What is the matter with him watching porn. Watch it with him and see what he does. While he watches kiss on his neck and watch he'll want to have se with you. Do it and try it.

When I saw this one, I just had to respond to it as guys addicted to porn is a pet subject of mine. I was once addicted to it as well and feel that now it is my obligation to help others that are caught up in this. Being addicted to porn is no less addictive than any other drug. It can be very difficult to beat, but it can be done. First off, if your husband is caught up in this, as it sounds like he is, like every other problem, the first step to recovery is to admit that its a problem. Porn is a huge problem especially in America. It destroys marriages, familes, and men. The longer it goes on, the worse it will get. You will find that he has less and less interest in having sex with you, but masterb... is garanteed to be a problem as well. Please dont take this lightly. Its a very serious issue. Some women even see this is cheating, which I agree with. Its also likely that he may even imagine himself with ones of these fantasy women while with you. You will also probably find that if it has not already, the downslide will begin. It will take more and more preverted images to get him off. Eventually, it could even lead to bondage, hard core porn and even kiddie porn. There is no such thing as a casual interest in porn or an accecptable level of watching porn. Sooner of later, porn will take over his life. Its just a matter of how long it will take. He needs to get help before it is too late. Porn is an addiction, so he might well say thats he is done and wont do it again, but he will keep doing it again until he has broken it. He will not be able to break it on his own. He needs the support of others. Though he can get help outside of the church for this, it may or may not be effective. Porn is one of those sexual addictions that has spiritual ties and needs to be delt with on a spiritual level. But there are many churches out there that have not a clue how to deal with this issue and will even run from it or ignore it. So you need to find a church or Christian support group that deals with mens addictions to porn and over coming them. One last thing. I would put him on a tigher leash. Meaning that Id take away his computer from him until such a time as he gets help. Unless he needs it for work or something like that. There are very good filters out there that can be set up so that he cannot access porn or porn site.

Okay, here's a question coming out of left field maybe - why does it bother you? Many couples embrace a little pornography, especially videos / DVDs, to "get in the mood" and enhance love-making. Sometimes it helps to spice things up and keep sex interesting. I understand that you might disapprove of pornography, or even feel hurt, as though there's something wrong with you that makes him collect this stuff. And you should forget those thoughts - there's nothing wrong with you at all! However, instead of judging your husband for it, ask him in a genuinely curious, non-judgemental way why he feels he needs this porn - what is he getting out of it? I know you may have your ideas, but ask him, openly and honestly. It's a fair question. If it doesn't strike you as horrifically offensive, express an interest in it yourself. You can also always turn it around on him. Ask him how he'd feel if you had some nude, sexually provocative pictures taken of yourself, both for him, and maybe to post online or to send to major pornographic magazines (you don't have to be serious, just see his reaction!). Ask him how he'd feel if you wanted to collect male pornography (like Play Girl, or naked men photos on the web). If either of these things bothers him, then you can play the "hypocrisy card" - if for some reason he would NOT be okay if you did these things, it should, if he has any brain, make him realize how this must be making you feel. This doesn't have to be a serious problem, or marriage-ending, if you let yourself think a little outside the box, and open your mind a bit. There's even a chance that it could ultimately strengthen your marriage. But one thing is for certain - scolding him and making him apologize for having it will NOT stop him from looking for and storing it. That's just not how human nature works.

Maybe you should take a look with him. I had that issue with my husband for a while. then I took a look at what he was looking at,and I gotta tell ya, our sex life is amazing now. He has no reason to go anywhere else. Insecurity may be your issue.

Maybe you should take a look with him. I had that issue with my husband for a while. then I took a look at what he was looking at,and I gotta tell ya, our sex life is amazing now. He has no reason to go anywhere else. Insecurity may be your issue.

stop YOUR snooping ...its HIS computer not yours ...I would put a lock on it to stop you

leave him. you could do better. go get you hair and nails done, go tanning and show him what he is going to looze

You are assuming that watching pornography is a problem per se. It isn't. the problem here is that (1) the wife puts here nose in places where it doesn't belong and gives her husband the third degree about it. (2) the husband lies about it. . The wife should not be invading her husband's privacy--yes, even after marriage we maintain our right to privacy. . The husband should be up front about his desire to watch pornography and should never lie to his wife about it.

Stop bothering him about. Don't make him feel guilty just because you (a) are jealous of the computer screen (b)you are afraid he will get ideas that you do not wish to fulfill. . It's not a big deal. It's just a movie and some gys get off from watching. Just like some girls get off from showing. It's in our natures.

Confront him about it and tell him to quick if your annoyed. And delete it all and block the sites without him knowing :P Or you could look up porn for yourself and see how he likes it. It's a bit immature but hey if it works!!

nothing I would not worry about my husband having porn on his computer its not like he is cheating on you with them why don't you put some pitchers of your self on the computer and see what happens

teach him how to erase his browsing history.

my boyfriend's friend is married too and he has TONS of pornography but his wife doesn't know. I honeslty feel bad for her because she's not aware. i think your boyfriend has a serious problem.

He is spanking the monkey, better than cheating, who cares

Just accept that he likes porn. The person here who said he may be a porn attic is probably overestimating his "addiction". It's not a bad thing and it is not cheating. If he is like me, then those girls are just gris for his mill and are irrelevant otherwise unless there is one he really likes for whatever reason. I doubt he would dump you for one of them. 1. because they are probably not attainable to him and 2. He may not want to be with someone that has been with so many men for a relationship. I know I would only hit it and quit it. Another thing: Isn't it rude and intrusive to be snooping around on his computer like that in his private files?

show him how to delete his browsing history.

I guess I am just going to ask you this..why does it bother you so much?

Let him keep his porn...Unless it's illegal. Even if you're the hottest woman in the world a man still needs a night out with Palmala Handerson once in a while. Besides, it will keep him from falling into the Been-there-Done-that attitude towards sex with you if he is allowed to roll those images and fantasies around in his head for a bit before clubbing you over the head and dragging you to bed by the hair.

Leave him :)

Well...the first response you were given is incorrect by a long shot. If you had sex with him once a day every day then trust me he would have no need to go looking at porn on the computer. That is hard for some people to fulfill that so just dont worry about it. Its not like he is fantisizing he could marry those women. He is just trying to pleasure himself. You should learn to accept it. Men and woman are very diffrent when it comes to there needs.

Before you confront him about it again, try to see the situation in his shoes. It is said that planting the seed of pornography is highly addicting, and his mind may need to see that things without control. He probably wants to stop, but can't find a way to do it. I suggest you ask him what you can do to help, and why he likes to look at it, so you can find a way to get the addiction out of his head.

my husband was a porn addict and i being of an open nature tried to encompass his addiction into our lives so we could both be fulfilled but he wouldnt do it he wanted it to just be for him and at the same time ignored my needs in the bedroom which is so hurtful it rips a womans self respect apart. we had counselling but in the end the lady said he was only saying what he thought we wanted to hear that in fact he had no wish to give up or include me in his porno world.I was heart broken it is not a lot of fun to find that you mean so little to your partner. sometimes it is better to just walk away. sorry.

let him have his fucking porn! whats the big deal? the only problem here is he broke a promise..

Let it go. I don't think there is anything wrong with looking at pornography. Maybe he is looking for something to spice of your sex life. Try sitting down with him while he looks at these pictures you might like it.

I came here looking for answers and got more questions. Maybe this might help... I've delved into my boyfriend's porn using... i've asked questions: what do you like about it? what does it do for you? Rather than judge him, I want to understand him. I've broken up with him a few times over it and quite possibly it's ME that has to come to terms with it. He seems to have no problem with it. so therefore it's MY problem... right? Well, Yes and no... I need a partner that is willing to make it a safe environment for me to have a loving relationship with him. My demands do not seem great or earth shattering. I think that most guys want to make their girl feel safe. right?? and the characteristics of a good partner is to make eachother's world an emotional safe haven for eachother. It all needs to be agreed upon... For example: as of yet my boyfriend has not gotten rid of the hundreeds of porn mags that are stacked in his home office even though I have told him how it makes me feel ucomfortable and disrepected for the past EIGHT months. He also thinks that there is no problem staying home for entire Saturday realieving himself with porn for over 7 hours. So fine, apparently, he's not the partner I am looking for. It's easier for me to leave than those that are entrenched in a relationship with a porn addict... remember 1. It's NOT you. 2. It's him. He has the problem. he would have the problem if you were or weren't in his life. 3. It's no different than the effect that alchohol and drugs has on any relationship... the person using it is soooo blind as to how it is destroying their relationships. ANYTHING in moderation is OK... but when one needs to resort to lying in order to "use" needs to seek some help. They are putting their "using of porn" above your reationship and when that happens guess what they end up with... yup, whatever their true love is - whichever one they are willing to give up the other for... maybe leaving him would help him to seek the help he needs. xoxo Trisha

Please explain to me why you are searching his computer for porn? Most men and a lot of women like pornography. It is bad that he lied to you but you are making a very big deal about something that is really not important, unless it is kiddy porn then you leave him .

In my opinion tell him its ok. Guys are visual, and will look at porn either with your approval or behind your back, your choice.

But out and respect his privacy. Why are you with this guy if you don't trust him? The problem's not with the pornography it's in your relationship.

Open the computer and pull out his "hard drive" and hold it ransom until he grovels for mercy.

Start doing something he doesn't like, and see how he feels about it. I didnt mind my boyfriend looking at porn when we first started dating, but now after we've been through so much and have gotten so close it makes me sad to think he'd rather see some other woman naked. Give him a taste of his own medicine

NO NO NO ...please don't make a big issue out of this. Men are going to do stuff like this. I finally figured this out. Just be happy its a photo and not the real thing. I would hella trip when my ex would do this ...but i hooked up with someone else and he did it! Mama it's a straight men thing. I wouldn't trip.

Put a mirror over your bed or next to your bed and make you own w/out the camera. You and he may find it enjoyable!

as long as its not kiddie stuff then leave him to it, doesn't mean that he isn't interested in you anymore he's just being male and we all like to look sometimes try looking with him and put that spark back, you never know you may enjoy yourself