If your friend hurt your girlfriend through the action of deceit, would you stick up for him just because he is your friend or would you be there for your girlfriend and tell your friend he's a jerk?
by 
AnonymousGirl
ANSWERS: 13
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I ALWAYS BACKUP ANY GIRL IF MY FRIEND HURTS ANOTHER GIRL. HURTING GIRLS IS WAY UNCOOL
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It depends how long you've known your friend and how important he is to you as a friend. But in your opinion if he did do something wrong and you and him go way back, you should let him know you don't appreciate what he did and make him apologise to her sincerely.
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i wouldnt tell my friend that he's a jerk, i would comfort my partner. and question my friend why he did it. you have a right to know the full circumstances of the quarrel. If it turns out that your friend is in the wrong, be angry at your friend, if you find out that your girlfriend provoked the deceit, then approach it another way, they are both at fault. treat it with care, because these are two people that you care about. you dont want to insult someone un-necessarily
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May I suggest that there are a lot of judgments here. My goal is to live without judgment, of myself or others. Nobody acts in a way they believe will be dumb. Everybody acts in a way they believe will benefit themselves. If I were to act in a way that would knowlingly harm another, then I would be acting wrongly. I try to avoid acting wrongly. I would guess your friend was acting in a way that he/she felt would be acceptable. If he/she acted with the knowledge that the actions would harm another (your girlfriend), then I would examine whether I could continue calling this person a friend. If your friend acted with the intent to avoid hurt and/or deceit, and was unsuccessful, then I would not judge him/her harshly for unintended consequences.
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You stick up for who is right. Since you are saying that your friend hurt your girlfriend through the action of deceit, then, your friend was wrong and you stick up for your girlfriend. Real simple like that.
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any "friend" who would hurt my girlfriend, or any other friend for that matter, would no longer be my friend. and if any of them did anything like that, then were they a true friend to begin with??
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#1 anyone who would behave like that would not be my friend. #2 I believe that a girlfriend should have high priority....I would support her.
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I would be there for the girlfriend and give her support.
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This is a difficult one. Assuming me and misses have been together for a long time and everything is looking good, marriage or children are involved ect. then you have no choice but to back your misses. BUT you need to try and look at it from a neutral point of view. Look at what he did and how/why he hurt her. You also need to remember that if your relationship goes "tits up" then you will need your friends to get over it. It all really depends on the details and you have not provided enough for anyone to give a truthful answer.
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keywords: "through deceit". No brainer. gf wins. "Friend" would have lost that title and would need to work pretty hard to gain it back. I have no use for a "friend" like that.
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Not sure what are the specifics but I certainly could not support him if he is using deceit.
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I would stick up for the girlfriend
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Let your actions follow in the way of truth. If he is wrong, then chastise him - friend or no friend. If he is truly a friend, he'll continue to respect you. Never blindly stand up for a girlfriend - that's the fastest way to get into a relationship where you get used. Let her know at the same time that you'll accept nothing short of honesty.
officegirl 
DancesWithWolves 
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