They are probably just joking around

My brothers and sisters and I are not allowed to date. How do we deal with it? We just don't tell them when we're in a relationship. That's what is probably going to happen with their children, as well!

Do they plan on locking them up until they choose their wives for them?

Yes it is nuts. If they put those kinds of demands on their children, usually the children rebel and sneak to do what they want. I think they will face great difficulty with this.

What are your brother and his wife going to say when your nephews are in there 30s hanging around the house all the time? I think it is pretty sad when parents handle their kids so prudishly. This is the year 2007; it's not 1707 in Massachusetts Bay Colony.

this is something that depends on their culture and beliefs. When they leave to live on their own they will deal with relationships as they please.

Yes, quite nuts. Think about it - does everyone marry the first person they date? We all need to learn how to ask the right questions to get to know someone - that's what practice is for. To me, this question is confusing sex and dating. You don't have to have sex on every date. However, I honestly believe that to truly know someone, prior to getting married, that they should have had sex. I would hate to see all married people yoked for life to someone that they may be 100% sexually incompatable with.

Well then how will they get married if they can't date lol? It's like someone wanting to have a baby but not wanting to have sex (minus today's breakthroughs lol). Those kids are gonna be screwed up if their parents are raising/treating them this way.

they are right,your nephews are THEIR children.

as long as this is just a way to keep them safe..no worries mate. but if they start saying or doing lots of other weird things, better be a standup uncle and standup for the kids...keep watching..hopefully harmless...never hurts to be invovled and concerned

How serious is your brother? How old are the kids? Because, really, I think once the kids reach a certain age, they're going to do whatever they want if they really want to. I mean, I used to say the same thing to my kids...yes, I was somewhat joking but with a serious tone directed to my kids just so they know that dating at a young age isn't something I am going to be thrilled about. Now that they are in their teens, my son isn't currently dating (his choice) and my daughter sees boys (movies, mall, etc.) but not in a steady dating way and I meet all the people they both hang out with and they have a very healthy view on themselves. If the nephews are great kids, then the parents must be doing something right :). I would let your brother raise his children the best way he knows how. As long as you don't see your brother or his wife doing anything to harm the kids, you need to accept their different (than yours, current or in future) parenting style.

Perhaps I'm erring on the side of seriousness, but it's just that I don't find this innocuously cute or funny. It sounds very unhealthy and codependent. Almost vaguely emotionally incestuous. ps It occurred to me just now, it's becasue it is coming from *both* parents that makes me feel uneasy.

...and these so-called parents think this is a good thing because...? Do they plan on arranged marriages? How will they control this? Do they understand the meaning of the word "fascist"? :(

Welcome to the world of most girls. My dad said exactly the same thing to me when i was a teenager (convents were threatened). Even at 24, when i had been with a guy for 5 years and living together for half of that, my dad maintained the belief that i simply had a good male friend who came over and had dinner with me every night. Unless the plan is to keep the kids at home their whole lives, your nephews are gonna date and chances are, as long as the kids are respectful, your brother and sister-in-law will eventually accept this. And if they really are climb the wall crazy, just tell your nephews not to bring a girl home until its the one they plan to marry and learn to accept the fact that they'll still have to sleep in separate rooms when they do. Thousands of young women do it every day...Its kinda nice to see some boys have to put up with it too.

Wow...Nuts. May I suggest they invest in several strong male chastity belts? Sounds like their gonna need em!

Could they possibly be joking?I've known some parents that have said they won't let their daughters date until they're 50.If not,then,wow.

Yes, it is quite crazy and unrealistic. How are they supposed to know what traits they like in a woman, in order to choose a wife if they can't date?

bloody nuts!...the nephews are in danger of growing up screwed in the heads and filled with backward thinking

It's nuts and a way creepy indicator that they fail to have an understanding of their children as seperate humans who will grow up and move out from under their thumbs. I feel for your nephews.

I don't think their "nuts"...Just a little over protective and although, I understand why they are I hope for their boys that they open their eyes, because you can't change what you do not see.

It's very sad. They can lay a foundation, and hope their children make good choices. They will learn soon enough, their children are born with a will of their own!

yeah thats mental are they in some kind of cult how u going to meet a wife if you dont date

That's got to be one of the dumbest, most insane things I've ever heard.

yes they got to see what else is out there maybe they meant to say their wife is the only one they will ever sleep with

How old are your nephews? Has there been some negative experience in the family such as a 13 y.o. boy becoming a father? What kind of person is your brother? How good do you know his wife? As you present it, it seems that those people are not living with their time or are living somewhere apart from reality. They could also have experienced some trauma in the past.

I think they want their sons to run away

i know a lot of people like that. in this culture it's kind of hard because sex sells so easily. i think it'd be safer for them to say to their kids if they consider dating somebody, they should at least be honest with their parents first. that communication signal between two parents is key to that rule even working, so...i hope for the best for them i guess

They can't be serious. Can they?

Did they happen to read "I kissed dating goodbye" by Joshua Harris? It's actually a very interesting perspective. The idea is that you don't put yourself into traps that will lead you away from purity. The boy and girl are friends and can enter into a "courtship" once it is felt (by both parties involved and their families) that there could be a serious relationship leading to marraige. I find it a very refreshing view on relationships and a healthy alternative to American's idea of pre-marital relationships (i.e. dating). I'd encourage you to pick up the book to see what it's about. It's definately not for everyone, but it is interesting.

I think this is a little extreme to tell a kid! But I think that all it will do is make them secrative about what they are doing. I mean is your brother's wife the first girl that he ever dated??

From your reaction they sound like previously mainstream American, which makes it unusual. This is the only accepted practice in some other cultures though. In some places it is expected that a family member will kill a couple for dating. That's the really nuts extreme end. You might want to talk with your brother about the long-term effects this can have on his kids. He's trying to separate them from American culture. Maybe not one of it's best facets, but it is pretty well ingrained. Social ostracism, imposed by their parents, will eventually lead to either negative behaviors or a break from the relationship with the parents, most likely both. Rather than trying to remove all temptation, and force our children to live in bubbles. We should try and educate them in our values. When TV programs and commercials portray behaviors we don't agree with, we should talk about it with them. Rather than banning the TV, use it as a springboard for discussions. Talk to them about dating and what kind of things go on in a healthy relationship between the sexes. And for goodness sake, talk about sex. Pretending it doesn't exist is the surest way to end up with teen pregnancy.

Yes! Nuts! Definitely!

I'm thinking your nephews will get around that somehow.

so how do they think their children will find a wife if they can't date?

What strange people. Crazy.

My dad told me that too. It's usually wishful thinking

Well how the hell are they supposed to find their wives? Do they have a prearranged marriage?

is that what they did? but anyone as parents they can guide their kids but they can not really tell thme what to do, especially after 16-18. Tell them that their kids are only their kids not their belogings.

it is just a figure of speech. they dont want to deal with seein gtheir children go thru all the hurt and drama that comes with dating.

So they are going to have arranged marriages? What country do you live in?