Is it a big deal if a man holds his fist up to you during an argument but has NEVER laid a hand on? I told him he better never do that again & he said "You know I'd never touch you". Am I overreacting? I didn't like the look in his eyes
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Little big mouth
ANSWERS: 24
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I think I'd be a bit freaked, too, Lisa! I know I tend to be a bit leery and cynical, but that's only because I've been through both relationships and friendships with people who I thought I could trust at first, and then found out I was wrong. I've never been hit before, but that would be a caution flag to me.
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Lisa come on. If this happened to you please throw him out and/or walk away from this. Raising a fist to your face is certainly a red flag. This is getting bad already with an argument so soon after he pushed himself back into your life. File a restraining order and keep this guy away from you.
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It's a threatening gesture and not to be taken lightly. You're not overreacting, nor do you have a guarantee he won't become violent. His ominous fist speaks louder than his disclaimers. When he does this, walk away. Protect yourself. If necessary, leave the house, or wherever you may be. However small the risk, it's not worth sticking around to find out if he's speaking the truth.
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That is a violent gesture and I would be very concerned. Personally, in my own relationship, all we do is scream and then separate for a few moments (me upstairs, him downstairs or vise versa) til things cool down. If he raises his fist in rage, there is only so much self-control a human has to stop him from throwing a punch. Please be careful.
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At least in texas that qualifies as assalt. Battery, as in the famous "assalt and battery" comes when he actually srikes you. "Aggrivated assalt" comes when there is a weapon involved, whether or not it is actually used. are you a man or a woman? Be concerned-you have a cause of action but it's probably not worth pursuing.
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Yes, it's a big deal. You aren't overreacting. If a man raises his fist to a woman it is practically a threat, and therefore, unacceptable.
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It's still a threatening gesture...I wouldn't like it at all.
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no your definitely not overreacting. my boyfriend is a very agressive person but has not once raised a hand to me. if any guy can raise his hand to a women even if the women is tempting him it shows a lack of self control and at some point hes bound to cross that line. he needs to know the boundaries and there is no reason for any situation to get to that point.
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Every situation is different, there is no one size fits all to this question really. Does he have a history of violence? Does he have good self control? Does he ever act violent around you? Does he get violent while drunk? These are all questions which you may want to consider, in this situation he sounds like he lost control for a microsecond and raised his hand, I've done it (though the situation was entirely different and I had the right to do it) as have many women, men, and everything in between. Anyway, it is something to be alarmed with if you felt threatened enough to back down, thats what I always use. If I personally feel threatened, there is a problem. If you did feel threatened, I would strongly advise you to get rid of him, a relationship is not worth walking on egg shells around anyone, and if you believe that he will get violent than just get rid of him.
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its just as bad as holding a gun to your head ...you don't know if its empty or not
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It's a big deal and you are not overreacting :)
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I totally agree with buxtonite, Lisa, and I agree with you when you say 'he better never do that again' -- You are not overreacting.
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A threatening gesture may be considered an assault under certain circumstances. Any way you look at it, it is a violent act. If this is the first time that he's acted this way, I would tell him that if it ever happened again your relationship would be over. I don't know what was said to upset him so much, but one isolated incident without any actual violence wouldn't be enough for me to end the relationship. That said I'd be mindful in the future to watch for any reoccurances.
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You are NOT over reacting. You should be very afraid because if he got that close this time..next time he may not hold back!
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Lisa, abused children tend to be abused adults. This is abuse. Flat out n out abuse. Get out of this relationship before the real ugly things srart to happen, you don't want you little girl growing up thinking this is the norm, do you? Good luck. Stay STRONG!!!!!!!!!
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i can see where you would be upset. I am glad to hear you told him never to do it again. If he never does it again then i think he may have just been angry and threw up the fists. But if he keeps doing it then he's not able to control himself in anger....Good Luck and i hope it was just a mistake on his part.
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I don't know if you've gotten your answer, but I hope you can see this from your daughter's perspective. When I was a kid, my dad used to smack my mom around. He never beat her black and blue, but being the impressionable kid that I was, I carried that with me for as long as I've been around. Even though he's a basically good guy, we haven't spoken in yrs. I didn't realize how much this was affecting me, but I can't completely trust men, even my boyfriend, who's a pretty stand up guy. I went around for yrs with a chip on my shoulder and I know that it had alot to do with what I witnessed as a kid. Kid's are sponges and can't help being shaped by their environment. From your picture, you are a very beautiful, sexy girl. Don't you know that you could have any man that you want. Why waste your time with someone that brings you down? It seems like good men are hard to come across these days, but it's actually not true. You just have to be open to people that aren't what you normally consider "your type". You know what I mean?
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No,you're not over reacting at all.Alot of people would have beaten him to the punch,so to speak.
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Intimidation comes in many forms. Raising a clinched fist to you, is intimidation. Any motion or movement, in a threatening manner, can be considered intimidation and deserves a watchful eye on the other party. Do not let your guard down.
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Yes it's a big deal and no you are not over reacting. You have every right to participate in a conversation or disagreement, without him resorting to intimidating and threatening behavior. As for the "you know I'd never touch you" story ~ you don't know anything of the sort. He is already having difficulty controlling his anger and wouldn't be holding his fist up to you, if he weren't. The warning signs are there. Listen to them (((hugs)))
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I disagree with Anonymous, if you always run away from problems like that you are going to be a very lonely person, you have to ask yourself what got him to that point, then if YOU are still totally innocent then yes I agree with Anonymous. All people are different and don't try and change him into you, if you really love each other you have to find solutions to your problems. Sit down and think about what happened and can you solve it or not? If not call it a day. LOVE is having to put up with rhe things you don't like. Posting Comment...
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Points for you for standing up to him, it IS a big deal, and NO you are NOT overreacting. He should be punished for this behaviour in a suitable manner, until a sufficient apology has been made (buying things for you is NOT an acceptable apology). Keep the upper hand in this situation. He MUST know that he will NOT get away with violence, THREATS of violence, or even forced intimidation.
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No, your not overreacting. He is fighting himself, his anger towards you is not acceptable. Sure, he doesn't touch you now, but what about if he ever got too angry? Break it off with him, for your own safety.
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i would never go out with someone like that
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