I have been in abusive relationships before. You have to learn what the flags are so you don't end up with the same person. It is so hard to let a nice guy love you once you have been with an abusive guy because you don't feel deserving but you do deserve to be happy. Find yourself, don't go searching for love. Once you are happy within yourself, love will find you. But remember look for the flags like jealousy, insecurity, not letting you be who you are. If you are lucky and find yourself a nice guy let yourself be loved. Good luck!!

Yes Problem is trusting somebody enough to give her a chance and let her into our lives.

My former husband was an alcoholic but he wasn't physically abusive. But 14 years later, hopefully Mr. Right is sitting right next to me, I'm not sure yet, but I'm hoping

I am 59. I have survived an abusive mother, an abusive husband and a abusive SO and yes I do still hold out that there can be someone who will be good to me. If I don't find anyone, I am happy that I have grown, gotten strong and can be happy without a man in my life. I know I will NEVER allow abuse in my life ever again!!

I am a survivor of domestic violence/rape and have been happily remarried for a long time now. My (current) husband and I were both newly divorced, single parents. I don't think either of us were looking for a relationship, but we both just really needed a friend. In many ways, I think we found each other by accident. I was in therapy and needed to learn emotional independence, so I was really focused on that stuff when we began spending a lot of time together just talking and hanging out with our kids. We were both dating around. At the time, I wouldn't have guessed that we'd eventually fall in love. I know I'm lucky because, as Jay said, trust issues can make things difficult. For me, I think if I hadn't been so distracted with my therapy, I often wonder if I might have missed out on getting to know Hubby. Anyway, I'm glad I found him, however it happened. He is the kindest, most gentle and loving man I have ever known in my entire life. He is so good to me. I probably don't even deserve him. I'm so grateful.

Yes I have! I have already found my Truelove.

I have had an abusive parent & a few abusive relationships, i wont say it hasn't made me more wary of meeting new people, but i still hopeto find the right guy for me.

I have and I did. :-)

I have and I believe one day I will meet that right person. I thought I did.

I survived an abusive relationship, and for awhile I didn't have that hope. This past October, I married and there is no doubt in my mind that my husband is "the right partner" for me...

My ex-wife was abusive to me and our daughter. She lost visitation rights with our daughter. The older I get, the less I think I'll find that right woman. I thought I found her, but too much bad luck ended our relationship, long story really.

I've been through it and survived it. Thanks to GOD. I know I will meet the right person for me one of these days. I have to have faith, faith is what got me through surviving the whole thing.

I have just gotten out of a very abusive/bad relationship. i feel like one day he will be better...but deep down i know it will never happen and the guy i fell in love with will never be there again..it depresses me but i am hoping that one day everything will be okay.

Yes there is always a brighter day ahead.

yes

I have found one of those wonderful "right" people. I never thought it was hopeless.

NO. Just that(twice)I made really bad choices, and my judgement is not good. So, I will find peace alone. I am fine with that.

I have been through two abusive relationships and grew up with parents who couldn't be in the same room with one another since they divorced when I was 3. I never thought I would find someone that would treat me the way I deserved to be treated, but I have recently married the man of my dreams! He is loving, caring, supportive, and very very gentle! Don't give up..he is out there somewhere.

I married my first husband at 18. He was a abusive alcoholic jerk and I should have known better since he has already been married and his wife divorced him for the same reason. Finially I came to my senses and left while he was out screwing around for a few days. I got my own house with our child and was much happier. I'm glad I got away from him when I did as 6 months later he was in prison for life for bad, bad things. Fast forward a few years, I found a man who excepted me and my child with open arms and we've been married for 5 years with a child of our own and one on the way. I thought I would never know a love like I now know. He treats me with respect and would never physically hurt me. This I know as I have tested him on many accounts and he just doesn't have it in him. I'm very thankful that I have been able to break my barriers down and let him in our lives. But I must admit with my own insecurities if hasn't been a easy road to travel.

I was in a abusive relationship for almost 2 years, I feel God put this special person im deeply in love with now in my life, to make a difference..

difficult

I have survived a physical abusive relationship. I was left with many physical and emotional scars. However, when I found the help I needed to understand how I could have stayed in such a relationship was when huge changes began to take place in my life. I realized how low my self-esteem was and how desperately I needed to work on strengthening my emotional self. Once my self-esteem was at an all time high and I regained my self-confidence I quickly met my husband. You will meet the right partner when you are emotionally prepared to do so. In the meantime I recommend that you strengthen yourself emotionally and spiritually. Make sure your self-esteem is high and your are happy with the person you are. Then rest will just fall into place. Best to you! http://www.audreymarlene-lifecoach.com

Yes, I survived an abusive marriage. I was married for 8 years. Several years later, I met THE ONE. We've been together 15 years; married for 13.

I have survived many abusive relationships and I don't just hope I know because for me it's already came true.

I just recently a few days ago got out of a mental and physical abusive relationship. I finally got up enough corage to call him and just do it. It was very hard becasue he made me feel like no one else could ever love me other than him (even my family!!!!) it was at the pont where he said i had to choose betwen him or my family. My self esteem went down so much since then. but now that im out i feel so relieved and would never go back. Ofcourse i am sad and feeling a bit low but i have a friend (the only one i got left due to him taking up all my time..he hated when i hung out with friends so i just stopped talking to them) but all i can say is that its worth it. get out while you can. there is no bad timing.just get out of that situatin as fast as you realize you need to!

i did survived an abusive marriage and no i dont think i would ever marrie agin.

I was in an abusive relationship for almost 2 years.. he was an alcoholic. He didn't do it in a way i could see it.. he worked with my mind to make me feel like i didnt deserve anything and the only thing I needed in the world was him... I became distant to my family, my friends.. everybody that loved me and wanted a better life for me he made me think that they wanted to take my only happines away from me.. He wanted me in a crystal bublle ONLY for him.. After 2 years i ended up alone.... no friends.. no family.. just him and his insults..and one day i realized i deserved more than that.. so i finally broke up with him.. at first I though i was never going to be happy again.. i tried to kill myself cause i felt that he was the only reason i had to live for.. and that all my acomplishments were because of him.. that i didnt know what to do or how to live withouth him... So i started looking desperately for love.. and the only thing i found was HIM .. everywere.. in every man i met there was his personality and his fears.. I realized i was so addicted to being abused that i didnt know how to respect myself and how to make everybody else respect me. I went to therapy where i learned that he felt SOO small that he wanted someone who could control and reflect all of his fears in. He needed desperately a woman who he could abuse of and make her feel the worst thing in the world so he could feel he was better than someone. I fell in love with him and i saw the great person he could've been.. I thought that I was capable of changing him by loving him and showing him how wonderful life could be.. but he is sick.. he has NO self esteem so he stole mine.. and made my courage into his.. my efforts into his.. he stole my time.. my identity and EVERYTHING.. and I allowed it because i was in love.. i always justified his actions and his insults.. and i always find a way to forgive him.. till i got tired..... Therapy and being close to other people that suffer the same made me realize how blind i was and how nothing of that was true.. that i was always the strong one.. and he was a sick and lonely man.......couple of years later I found my husband.. a GREAT man.. that respects me and treats me like a woman should be treated.. I've learned how real love is.. how amazing is to fall asleep and feel that inner peace all over your body and mind.. and how amazin is to know that you are FREE.. that you can be yourself and that you can acomplish ANYTHING you want because you are a GREAT woman that had the courage to say "WAIT.. I DESERVE A BETTER LIFE"... I believe that being abused is not only hard to forget but to get over with.. but it is NOT IMPOSSIBLE... the first step is by accepting that there IS an abusive behaiviour.. and like someone else in the comments mentioned.. RECOGNIZING the FLAGS!!... once you KNOW that.. the rest is only matter of self respect and LOVE... Get close to the people that love you and you will find in every person a friend and a therapist... and love will come when it has to.. when its ment to.. GOOD LUCK and keep that faith in you...be STRONG ALWAYS!...

PLEASE FLAG SHOULD HAVE BEEN A COMMENT

I was in an abusive relationship for about 10 years. Granted I did not know it at the time. He never hit me, because he would not be getting his hand back if that happened, but I was emotionally, mentally and verbally abused. I think this is an equally dangerous form because you don't have the scares or bruises to prove it. I think it eats at your soul when someone is like that to you. It has taken me a long time to trust men and when i finally did the one i loved broke my heart. I have hope that everything will turn out as it should. I am not in a hurry to meet someone right now, when i do meet him i will know.

I was with a man that only wanted me for sex while he was doing online dating. He wanted me thin, always talked about me needing to make more money, he tried to date a woman on the side, had nubers of old girlfriends on his phone,porn, controlling, and had many many walls. So many things...We are over now. I couldnt get out of his house fast enough. I am doing a work book from TD Jakes called "woman thiu art loosed". Oh my God it is incredible. It talks about the bond God intended for women. I am an abuse survivopr from childhood so I was a prime candidate for this kind of relationship. I am healing. My self esteem had taken a huge dip. So many things realized in hindsight with this book. Anyways. I miss him but not really him..the illusion that he was the healthy partner for me. He belittled me. Only banked on gratification and money a great deal. Nowonder he has that "void" . Only God can prepare me for a healthy man. I will never discern a good man until I become "whole " again. Otherwise I will do it again. GOD FOES THAT, NOT A MAN. How cool!

I have survived an abusive relationship and all though it happened a long time ago. I still have the hope that I will one day meet the right man and if I don't? Well, I'm Thankful that I feel Secure enough with who I am. Beause there was a time when I wasn't. I had to do a lot of Soul searching to find out and figure out who I was.

I am in the process of recovering from a bad relationship. Counseling and being in an excellent support group helps. However, it's important to just take one day at a time to work on yourself. Try to cultivate healthy friendships and interests. In time you will grow stronger. Good luck

My verbal and emotional abuser just moved out two weeks ago. After 14 years of it, I finally had enough courage to move on after he punched me in the eye and head because I joined the gym. He kept me from my friends and nearly destroyed my career. I am just trying to pick up the pieces of my broken soul and I do think there is someone out there for me who is gentle and kind. I'm not in a hurry though, but if you're still in an abusive relationship get out now. You deserve to be happy. And trust me, your abuser never will be, so move on.

i was in an abusive relationship for 5+ years i now have the right guy i waited 2 years to get with him but now i have him and he means the world to me

My mom was physically and emotionally abused by my dad. They divorced like over 12 years ago and she just found someone else a year ago. It takes time to heal and realize that you are worth something but that right person will come along.

I'm 41 and spent 8 year in an abusive relationship. Some days, I think I have hope, Somedays, no, somedays I just don't care

I have been in a mentally,verbally,emotionally and physically abusive relationship.I finally got out of it when i was 4 months pregnant because he wasn't only trying to hurt me but to kill my baby.Luckily she survived,i had her 2 wks ago,but i look back to why i stayed in the relationship for so long and why i didnt leave him before i got pg and i dont understand it's like i accepted to be beaten everyday.He's not only left me with this pain thats just a scar i'll never forget everything he did.He's messed me up mentally as well with the insecurity,very low self esteem but i feel that every guy is the same.But i hope one day i'll not hold everything he's done to me & find someone who would treat me right and accept my daughter and I.

yes i have and still have hope.

Yes, it's not impossible. People will have a pity on you because you're the victim. Be cheerful and brighten up your hope.

yes, I'll soon be 39 and my wife jumps me every time that some lady smile @ me. My wife yells at me about things that I have no control over. And going out on the town is pure hell foe me sometimes.. I know I should get out of this, but hey I have a nice house and a BIG yard.. and my land goes on for miles. my wife is 51 and her health is very bad. so one day I know I will have some lady that will go for walks with me, and smile with me, and talk with me. And we can talk about how beautiful things are.. and I will not haft to hear some one hollering at me in a very mean tone.

I survived a 26 years marriage, 21 of those years verbally and mentally abusive. After the divorce I swore off men and told God if He wanted me to have a mate He would have to provide one. All my friends told me that the "right one" would come along but I ignored their comments because I had made the decision to stay single. Five years ago I was asked out to lunch by a guy and that was all I expected, lunch. It's been over 5 years and we are very happy together. He is my best friend and we are very compatable. We plan to marry when his youngest daughter graduates in 2012.

You could , but you need emotional healing first. And dont get involved until you do, it will only take baggage into the relationship . You need time to heal but seek out a place of that healing. When you have no fear for a new partner and feel like you will draw the right person to you , you will know. Heal first.

Yes. I had anabusive relationship for two years. I kept forgiving him and believing he loved me. Then one day i got up, packed a bag and left. He frantically called me begging me to come back, saying it would never happen again. I had been to the police so many times before and then dropped the charges, This time i was taking it the whole way. Crown Court. The police and Women In Need and Witness Protection were fabulous. He was being sent to prison. He was pleading not guilty all the way, until he knew i had arrived at court. Before i could enter the courtroom to finally hold my head uip and face him, he pleaded guilty. He was given 12 months suspended. Thats when i knew i would never trust another man....EVER.Then i met my current partner 2 years down the line. I am blissfully happy and getting married in 4 weeks. I still have occasional panic attacks and flashbacks but then i see my man smiling and telling me its ok. There are many decent,loving men out there, i found the near perfect one. Never give up hope.x

I did survive an abusive relationship that lasted for a couple of years. Just three years ago I met and married a wonderful guy. I am so lucky. It was 22 years between the abusive relationship and my marriage.

hun, I survived 2 abusive relationships. I wished to find someone and that day came when I least expected. Life is so good now.

I survived a couple of them..I just have to keep reminding myself that all men are not like that. :)

I have survived an abusive marriage and just got out of an abusive relationship with my boyfriend. At this moment, it is hard for me to imagine there are any sweet, gentle, loving men out there since all I've found are angry, abusive guys with worse issues than I have. I know I am not ready for a relationship but I wish God would send me a nice, non-abusive guy friend to go out to dinner with. I feel so alone. Jennifer

i have been in 2 abusive relationships in the past i moved away 200 miles and started again its the best thing ever as i now have a lovely man and 4 kids

I survived, barely..but I made it. I am still here.It took me a while to get my own self esteem back,but yes there is hope.My relationship is still haunted by the ghosts of the past, but I found a patient and delicate man, that is warm and strong and supports me in all of my recoveries.I got away from the abuse and have 7 months clean of drugs because, someone showed me what meaningful companionship is. The key is that you have to do the work on yourself first, so that you feel you deserve it.

I consider myself a survivor, after 31 years of abuse, having eventually stood my ground. He did try for a bit, but gradually, slid back into the old ways. I believe that it isn't too late to find someone with whom there can be a loving, caring, sharing relationship. All the things the marriage wasn't.

im okay with being a old lonely cat lady when i get older i dont think i can handle someone else hurting me again

I just got out of a relationship.... abusive that is. you will get better and learn to love yourself because i know there was a time where every abused women would never let any man hit her or speak to her vulgarly. I live for myself and my child knowing that i am the only one who decides my fat. you CAN live with out him. get yourself back. take yourself back.

I got married when I was 15 to a guy I thought was the world...Then the beating, name callings, cheating started. I would stay because I thought I had nowhere to go.Then finally I opened my eyes about 7 yrs and 3 children later . One day he went to work and as soon as he was gone, I just grabed just enough clothes and left. Now I am married to a wounderful guy who accepted me with my children.We have been together for just about 15yrs now and 3 childrn total of 6... He has never hit me or called me names and never cheated on me....So I do believe that there is that someone special out there for everyone

I am perfectly happy with myself...if I meet someone who can add more to my life than I can...I might give it a try....I do not need someone else to validate or make my life feel purposeful....I also believe that if a person goes looking for someone else they might not find anyone....its when your not looking that it seems to fall into place.

The longer you've been in a relationship, the harder it becomes to start a new one, and people always come with "baggage"

I not only survived.... I PREVAILED!!

I survived an abusive relationship with my daughter's father. I believe being alone is wonderful and it helps in recovering from abuse. You need that time to establish boundries and to get over your past relationhip. Also maybe to go to group at a battered women's shelter so that you can learn about Domestic Violence and get support from others. I can see where I may find another partner but I'm not out searching. They say everyone has a person out there just for them. But I have been alone for about 5 years-just me and the kids.

Yes, I do. But, I do not look for him... there is the right person for me out there and one day I'll meet him.

My second marriage was mentally abusive. It was so subtitle it wasn't until a year and a half later I finally figured it all out after she divorced me. Many things about that marriage still haunt me and we were divorced in 1993. I still cannot completey trust a woman any longer...not enough to make them a partner and I have met a number of very nice women. I truly wish I could being alone is not fun.

Yes... I finally escaped an abusive relationship just this year. I am 19 now and I was 15 when I met him. He was all I ever knew and thought that this was normal (watching my father beat the hell out of my mom all my life). I then i met the love of my life! Keep your faith strong!

yes there is always hope!

Yes there is Hope! My current wife is the Love of my Life I Adore her. My ex wife was abusive to me ran me down and put me in debt to the tune of 85000.00 in credit cards alone despite the fact that she spent all the money I could make and I make over 150000.00 a year.Put this in the right order God first and everything else just fall into place.

i have just come out of a very abusive relationship I was slapped punched and had my hair pulled, no one deserves that I mean no one. after that of course he tried to reconcile but soon after yup it was my fault all of it. I really believer there is someone out there for you, busy yourself, do something different, believe that you didnt deserve it, men who abuse whether its physical or verbal or sexual or whatever are weak men, they want control only because they have none in their lives, they are angry inside from most likey childhood cases, trust me on this one, i have been thru it. its terrible but believe that you can make it you can.

i have. no, i dont hold out hope for the right one, but it isnt because of the abuser. its just because im tired of being used for sex. so i dont bother at all anymore.

i was married for 7 awfull years to a man that is abusive,it stared with slaps,hair pulling and it only got worse as the years pass.my 7th year was the worse i was 3 months pregnant with my daughter,my husband came home at 3:00 am wanting something to eat it wasnt to his liking so he beat me with a steel toe boot, i was black and blue for a month and a half,didnt go anywhere that whole time, not even to my familys. when i got better i went to the doctor they said my baby was fine, i waited tell the next day for my husband to leave for work,got my belongings,never looked back.and now i am marriered with may 2nd husband for 7years now and he is the best thing that happened to me,there are great guys out there ,best thing to do is really get to know them before starting a relationship with them.

I am currently in an abusive marriage and I have since realized that this isnt what I want for my life and that I would survive alone. Self preservation kicking in, I suppose. Wondering if there is someone else out there for me that isnt abusive, wondering if this is what I'm meant to endure. I know that isnt right to think about when you've said your vows to someone but he wasnt always this way.....

I was married to an abuser for 10 years. It almost killed me. He is now in prison for 15-25 years for Attempted Strangulation and Domestic Battery. He stanguled me until I was unconcious and left. My daughter came home and found me on the floor and called 911. I vowed to NEVER marry again. I did not date for 3 years after divorce. Then I met this wonderful man who was a friend of one of my friends. He asked me to marry him and we have now been married for 4 months. I almost was the Runaway Bride about 97 times because I was so scared of being married again. He is the best thing that has ever happened to my daughter and me, though. We are learning what a relationship should be like. He is so kind and thoughtful and lets us know how much we are loved. It is the total opposite of what we knew for so many years.

i was with my ex for 3 months and the abuse started at 2 months. i thought i was going to die a couple of times from him choking me so hard. i have never experienced anything like this before. i know i will find someone who truly loves me and would never lay a hand on me in that way again. he'll come one day but im in no hurry. i know God will send him when its time to be with him.

Now that I am divorcing my abusive wife, I have met several very nice women - nothing serious yet but I can see the potential of having a great relationship.

Please let me say this.There is someone for everyone.You will meet the right person and when you do,you will know it.This person wasn't the right one for you but I hope you learned the mistakes.

I not only survived- I learned how to live!!!I came out of an abusive marriage-and although I have been through different stages and levels of emotional changes and learning to trust- and not judge everyone based on my past- I have hope-but not of finding that right person-of that person finding me- in the meantime-I better myself and educate myself on a daily basis-I made a choice in this life- that I will not treat someone else- the way I was treated-because it was not his fault-healing from the past-and becoming a better me-is a priority for me now-I have faith and hope that real love will find it's way to me-I don't have to seek it - I don't have to look for it-it will meet me- and I will be ready!!!! So don't give up hope-they will find you!!!!

I was in an abusive marriage for 29 years and a year ago finally found the strength and courage to leave and get a divorce. I am very happy and have recently found a wonderful man. My problem is that I worry that the deep scars of my abuse will ruin this relationship. It is hard to rebuild your self esteem and self worth. I had come so very far and rebuilt my life and feel whole but I am scared that my past will intrude on my future. My ex is still in town and still manipulates through the kids even though he has another woman. He is truly a sick man and tries his best to emotionally hurt me still. So yes I have hope that I have met the right partner..I only hope I don't mess it up.

Hi,yes I have been abused in past and YES I found a great man.The sad thing is that I'm very hard on him.You see I've been very abused in past relationships.When you meet the man your to be with,you will just know it,you will feel it inside.Please understand that there are good men out there,you will find yours.

i was just recently in a abusive relationship. and although im afraid to be in another relationship now.. i know that in the future i def find someone to be with that will love and honor me.. abuse is about control .. so when i was with him he was trying to control me .. and if i give up on love and give up trying to be happy becuz of him.. doesnt it mean he still controlling me somewhat .. so the answer is yes i know for sure ill find my soulmate or a great partner one day. becuz i love myself and i want to be happy.. take care

Im 24 and I had finally gotten out of a 5 year abusive relationship with the father of my son. Its been really hard and I just can't explain the pain and suffering he's put me through. Before him I was with my High School sweetheart for 6 years and I had been hoping to find that same kinda love and he came around. He started off charming then slowly turned into the highly abusive person that he is today. Always lying, verbally and physically abusive, and never respectful. People say I'm the crazy one for sticking in so long, but they have no idea what kind of control they put on you. Its been 3 months now that he has moved out and over a year that we have been broken up. Yes it took that long for him to leave and iam grateful that it hasn't ended with somebody dead or at the hospital. Pretty much now I just don't want anybody. Im focusing on school and being a good mom. I do hope however that someday I will find someone, but I'm definately not jumping into anything or putting myself out there.

wow. well i had to learn everything the hard way. so-called "flags" did not exist to me because i had a father who already called me names like: whore, bitch, slut, stupid. so when a guy used these words it would cut me a lot deeper than normal! i used to feel weak b/c it hurt me so much. but i knew nothing different. after my 4th failed relationship, clinical depression and much worse, i finally see what i've been doing wrong. i can get better now, b/c i expect more. hit me up if you would like to talk more about your situation!

I survived two abusive marriages, an abusive relationship, and rape and sexual abuse as a teenager and was still able to meet some good boyfriends, great lovers, and for almost 20 years now have had a wonderful husband.