My marriage has become unbearable after 30 years. I now want to move out but I know that if I start planning anything and if my wife gets wind of it she will start moving assets (i.e. bank accounts etc) Where do I stand on this?
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 8
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I think the person who's decision it is to leave the marriage has the burden of the financial loss. I'm totally against women who think they're entitled to everything they can get their hands on, but if you leave her instead of her leaving you, especially if she's been a stay at home mom and has nothing of her own, then you would be responsible. (I left my first husband and I only took what was mine when we met and things that I purchased, and I even left him lots of my stuff, plus I paid all the joint credit card bills and utility bills up until the time I left.)
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If you are in a community property state, then assets will be separated equally unless there is a contract dividing assets in case of divorce. Both parties must disclose all assets. Any lack of disclosure may result in a loss of all assets for the party involved. If you are serious then I would talk to an attorney ASAP to find out the specific laws in your state.
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Basically, you stand neck deep in feces and must be willing to let go of life as you know it. But... start sneeking stuff out, little at the time, personal valuables, like watches, jewelerly, guitars and stuff. The money? gotta be slick, do you gamble? say you had a big loss, you went crazy!(stash it in a bank box at another bank, little at the time). Hate to hear that tho, the reason I can say this, is because I pulled this stunt a couple of years ago, but I am happy to say that on Dec 20, it will be our 5 yr anniversary.(now if I had that $1500.00 that I paid the lawyer, it would buy a nicer big screen TV for her gift, oh well)
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First thing to do is go and see a lawyer. He/she will advise you on your rights and the most appropriate action to take.
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You go talk to a divorce lawyer before you do something stupid or open your yap amd tip her off.
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You need to start moving stuff out. Depending on your financial situation, you should try and cut your paycheck. Live meagerly for awhile, that way if it comes to alimony, you're pay will be less. Get a safe deposit box, in someone else's name that you can trust, and fill it up, little by little.
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i would just tell her you want out
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Assuming you are in a community property state your attorney will do an audit of all bank and investment accounts to look for one party draining accounts. This is pretty common and pretty easy to identify. Your half of assets will be calculated on those accounts BEFORE they were drained.
Hardcore Conservative 
pearllederman 
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