ANSWERS: 11
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A lot of people are offended because it turns their attention to sex, or talk about defecation and urination during an otherwise interesting conversation. Its a crude distraction,
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Linda JoyA crude distraction. Interesting perspective! Thank you!
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It depends on the words. Most words don't bother me.
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Linda Joy
Well, I was going to say you two, but there were three of them so I said you people. BIG MISTAKE! I explained this in my description, but sometimes its hard to see
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1. You don't have to learn every word. Unless you were raised in a vacuum, you already know which words that general society considers offensive. If you use those words in my presence, it's the equivalent of me spitting on the floor at your feet. It's the same disrespect. Think about that.
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Linda Joy
Maybe I was raised in a vacuum of sorts. I don't go looking up every word anyone in the entire world would find offensive, and they need to get over it. ALL OF THEM! If you go through your life being offended what kind of life is that? Stop looking for it and you might have a happier life.
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2. You can't know what will offend any given person within the sound of your voice. It's not only a "black/white" issue. It can be any difference between people including gender. If someone near you is offended by something you (innocently) say, start a polite conversation with them. First listen to what they have to say, and no matter how far out it is from your experience, acknowledge their perspective. Explain what you meant rather than being hostile. It could be a learning experience for both of you.
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Linda Joy
You can explain all you want, but when some people take offence, even if none was ever intended they label you and shut down. They don't want to hear anything you have to say after that. I have discussed this with my friends and neighbor who happens to be black. He admitted it. I have definitely learned from it! I don't think they learned anything though. But my friend/neighbor did. Good answer!
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See why the world is full of pathetics that like to be offeneded so they can cry about something. They don't like the trueth which is they are useless. Theres alot of them around they cant help themselves they want everyone around them to pamper to them. If you give in to them they will do it every time.
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Beat Covid, Avoid Republicans
It might help if you spelt "truth" correctly. lol -
notyouraveragedummy
I remember a social norm that so many people once believed in (and practiced) It was called civility. It went a long way to make every day life bearable! What's pathetic is that so many people don't know or understand the principle. -
★Stevo
or some old bag that pushing her veiw as if that is all there is quick get offended and bring the attention back to you . -
Linda Joy
No one is useless. Everyone is here for a reason. Civility seemed to go out with chivalry and testosterone. Whatever happened to 'everyone is entitled to their own opinion'? More importantly why the personal attacks? -
★Stevo
majority of the people in the world are oxygen bandits they are useless,
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Nobody "chooses" to be offended. Certain words just are extremely offensive and should never be used under any circumstances. I think this is a very stupid question.
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notyouraveragedummy
There's no curing ignorance or ugly!! Stevo is one of our resident offenders. -
Linda Joy
You are entitled to your own opinion but not your own facts. Anyone that is offended chose to be. You do have the power to tell yourself they are just words and treat them as such. I used to let my ex call me stupid until I learned it wasn't true! No words should be able to upset anyone without their permission. If you allow words to upset you then you allow the people who say them to upset you. If you don't allow them to hurt you you don't allow anyone who says them to have any control over your feelings! Don't give anyone that power and control over you or any of your feelings they are yours and you need to choose when they are appropriate! Its not always easy to have that control, (boy do I know!) but it is in your best interest. -
Linda Joy
NYAD, Stevo is from a different culture. Try teaching with love. -
notyouraveragedummy
I assure you that Stevo has no interest in learning! My responses numbered 1. and 2. are just what you're describing. You will note that Stevo did not weigh in until after my original posts. He wasn't interested in my words, only in a pathetic attempt to insult me. What he doesn't realize, is that I have a whole life and a LOT of insight into life outside of this site. He isn't the least bit interested. -
Linda Joy
Did you think maybe he just showed up after you posted? And your 1. was extremely disrespectful to me, but that's more about you than me, so I didn't even react to the rudeness. It was definitely not a loving lesson as you claim. But this type thing is something you'd really have to have been there for. I was just pointing out that looking for things to be offended over and constantly being offended doesn't make you right it just makes you offended and narrow minded it shows a disrespect for other people's opinions and the very intolerance they perceive is directed at them.
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I agree with Glambarber user. It depends on what words are used. When someone says “you people” to an individual, those particular words may not be offensive but can be stereotypical because each person is an individual. An individual is one person and not 2 or more people. Glambarber took the words out of my mouth since we don’t choose to be offended. Being offended by certain words is a reaction based on what goes against a person. Some people need to learn about showing respect towards another if they are able to respect themselves. If you say something offensive to somebody and they let you know about their feelings about what was said, that is how you can learn not to say those offensive words again. Some people need to be mindful or aware of the sensitivity in others by being empathetic and to be careful of what is said. I believe people learn from each other.
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Linda Joy
Read what I wrote in response to Glambarber. You can choose not react. When you react you allow others to control your actions. When you stop allowing words to offend you you are then in control of your actions. Never let anyone else control your feelings. To clarify (as I previously stated) there were three of them. And we had the discussion after though they were no longer listening as explained above. The solution was for me to sit down shut up and do what they told me. ANYTHING ELSE would have been considered "my attitude" because I don't bow down and kiss ass because someone thinks they have power and control over me when in reality they don't even have power and control over their own fat asses! And they hate me because I'm smart, white, and short. And probably because of my smart mouth. I should be more respectful. -
Shadow Of The Mind
A reaction is when the brain responds to certain things. I don't see how a reaction is a choice. To say to someone that they have a choice not to react would not get you anywhere because everyone's minds work differently. Some people are more sensitive than others and that's why I said in my answer to be mindful and aware of the sensitivity in others. I understand we are in control of our feelings. I'm aware of that but to say that to someone with a disability of some sort (I don't intend it as an excuse), they would not be able to respond to what you said to them. Nobody should be a victim and we all have a right to defend ourselves from controlling people. There are people who say nasty and disrespectful things to others and it is not the fault of the other person being offended. Some people need to learn to be mindful and aware of others feelings and not just their own instead of saying words that can be disrespectful and hostile. People who say bad and disrespectful words are ignorant. They don't know anything about being friendly and choose to be the enemy. -
Linda Joy
So do you punch everyone who upsets you? No, because you correct the "reaction" before you punch them. Its the same thing. People with disabilities also have to live in the real world and learn coping skills if they don't they'll end up in jail just like anyone else who just reacts instead of thinking, correcting and controlling your behavior. And two of these people were social workers who should not only know better, they are expected to COUNSEL OTHERS ON SUCH THINGS!! This is not about YOU!! They also know I'm a military trained veteran and I also have a mental illness so according to your twisted thinking they should cater to MY SPECIAL NEEDS, not provoke a response from me. Not only is it stupid it could be unsafe for them if they try that shit on some veterans I know!! Now you're making assumptions about me when you don't know me. You judge me based on what I say here and that's all. You have never once tried to pm me and learn who I am have you? You whine about that all the time, but I see you do the same thing, hypocrite! I have friends all over the world and make friends instantly all the time. The only people who don't like me are the ones I tell the truth to and they don't like the truth I speak so they choose to judge me and criticize. I'm not here to make friends. I have plenty of those. I'm here to answer honestly. Its not my fault "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!" -
Shadow Of The Mind
I do not punch anyone. It is morally wrong to physically hurt someone. The real world is welcoming for anyone who knows how to face it but nobody should have to tolerate control freaks and psychological bullies. There is a way to face the real world without having to be around the wrong people. Of course it’s not just about me because the world has 8 billion people. I do not judge anyone. All I do is dismiss your bull$hit. I would not want to private message you anyway because I don’t bother with religious weirdos who can’t prove their point in their claims. What would you know about truth since you’re a religious weirdo involved in your own head rather than think outside the box? If you are accepting of differences in people we would not be having this argument since it’s not a conversation we are having. You don’t know what truth and honesty is because you have a religious imagination which means you’re on cloud nine and people like that are blinded by truth and believe in religious delusions instead.
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Communication is half on the speaker and half on the listener. That can apply to context as well. For example, if the speaker said "That's just the sort of thing you people would do!" it could be quite offensive. If it was "What can I do for you people today," that's an entirely different sort of context. However, someone might have grown up hearing the former context often enough to associate the two word phrase with something derogatory and end up becoming offended at the latter context. But, it's 2023, and there are these two extreme pulls on society - one of them wants to tell us that the only context that ever matters is the context around whomever claims to be offended. The other extreme says to just grow thicker skin and don't let anyone control you. But, at the end of the day, everyone is only truly in control of their own actions, and no one is truly 100% in control of context.
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notyouraveragedummy
Best answer, bostjan64 -
Linda Joy
I agree with most of what you say except I was actually trained that its the speaker's responsibility to ensure the message is received. And as I said three times now I was going to say you two but there was three of them. And the context is I was explaining that my lunch had just been delivered when "they" knocked on my door. And this was after they said they were coming and 10 then walked in at noon and wanted to know why I had a sandwich sitting out. They were already mad they had to get off their fat asses and work for a change. And the one in particular said I had a hauty attitude when I asked why I had to take all the cardboard boxes out of my kitchen cabinet after I had already explained to them that I'm short and I can't reach past the first shelf. They were clearly discriminating against me for being short and she was pissed that she didn't have any good answer why I couldn't have the boxes in my cabinet so I could pull the box out and get what I need from the cabinet and put it back. Then the other had the nerve to tell me to put everything somewhere else if I can't reach it without using the box!! I doubt there is a kitchen cabinet in the entire world that doesn't have a cardboard box in it! Its what cereal, crackers and noodles come in and theoretically speaking if they force me to remove the boxes they should do that to everyone else. They just got mad they had no good answer for why I couldn't have the boxes in my cabinet so she called me haughty. -
bostjan the adequate 🥉
It sounds like the situations was already heated. In that case, there could well be a much lower potential barrier to get "offended." It might also likely be the case that the offended party was "triggered" by the behaviour being pointed out rather than the language used to bring it to light.
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They have "thin skins".
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Linda Joy
Makes for easier cutting! jk. But it does make it easier to work them into a frenzy pushing their buttons with just words. lol Only this once I chose to sit down and shut up. The next time they came over I told them flat out I wasn't going to say a word because I was afraid they would take it wrong.
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How dare you use the word "to"!
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They don't choose to be offended, they just are offended. Natural reaction isn't a choice.
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