According to the book 21st Century Etiquette: "Conservative attire is always best. Wearing all black is so past century, but bright colors are garish. Funerals are not the best venue to make any fashion statements. . ." I can only speak for the United States, but these days it is fine to wear colors other than black as long as the attire is tasteful and conservative. I had the misfortune of attending my Grandmother's funeral this past Wednesday and I did indeed wear bright pink. Let me clarify that, I wore a conservative black pencil skirt and a twinset with pink trim, my cape was pink and my gloves were black (it was at Arlington National Cemetery, Washington, DC, USA and outdoors and freezing). Nobody thought it was "garish" or "tacky" because pink was her favorite color which was a well known fact. I made sure my makeup was conservative and my usually long locks were in a tasteful updo. I actually received compliments later on for tastefully wearing bright pink (just a hint of) to a funeral. . . how funny. In some cultures it may be a sign of disrespect, so be aware of that and dress according to local customs/beliefs. Use good judgment. This was a special case and the bright color was worn to honor the deceased. If you can't stand wearing black, choose another sombre color such as gray or at the very least stick with conservative attire. It is in no way disrespectful to not wear black in most cases. It is disrespectful to show up in an outfit one would usually wear "clubbing".

In short, we can say that black is not the only color you can use at a funeral. You can use basically any color that is conservative, non bright and dark. Appropriate colors are: tones of dark blue and dark grey. Of course is not only the suit, but also the accesories. You do not want to wear a dark grey suit with a bright color tie or shoes. I assume that we are talking about occidental world customs.

A funeral is supposed to be atime of mourning, black is traditional of mourning. However some people decide not to mourn the dead but celebrate their life by dressing cheerfully. It is not disrespectful as long as you make it clear you are cheerful because they are dead but because they lived.

Not at all and sometimes bright colours are fine. For example, it is quite appropriate to wear a dress tartan to a funeral. No one can claim that dress tartans are quiet or sedate (e.g., Macleod of Lewis is yellow, black, and red). The RCMP in Canada wear their dress reds to some funerals. Different cultures also find different colours appropriate for wear at funerals. And for myself, I don't think the colour of your clothing has much to do with the degree of respect for the deceased. Perhaps the deceased would be amused by that tie with the bright red hot peppers printed across it. ------------------------------------------------------------ Re: "You a Macleod?" No, but three of my grandparents were Scottish. Between having a son involved in highland dancing for several years and attending the Glengarry Highland Games in Maxville - an aptly-named town - every so often, one is exposed to the great variety of dress tartans.

No. Black is old hat, and really, the deceased won't know or couldn't care less either. For starters, the deceased is that, deceased. Death should be celerbrated, not mourned. If the person had never lived in the first place then you certainly wouldn't be going to their funeral. All people, no matter who they were or what they did, while alive, all people touch the hearts of others. I am sure that Hitler did some truly good things in life to some people and was an arsehole to millions of others. Everybody, regardless of whatever, has always done some good for us. Wear what you like to the funeral, by turning up, it shows that you have thought of those left behind.

sometimes colour can reflect the personality of the person past. it can also help reflect on the person and celebrate there life instead of brewing on the death. i'm not saying don't mourn that is very inportant, but reflecting on the persons life can help and colour can help. i have stood next to so many people and watched them take there last breath, as aa cancer nurse. so i realise to celebrate a life passed is very important, and i feel all black can be a downer for everyone.

I think it would be more disrespectful not to attend the funeral at all. If you do attend, just dress "conservatively". It's not a cocktail party or gala event, no place for sparkles and sequins.

A black suit with a white shirt is traditional for men to wear at a funeral, and is still followed by most people at most funerals. However, in recent times, people are wearing different colours such as blue, etc. Generally any colour is acceptable as long as it isn't bright pink or something crazy.

I have officiated at somewhere between 750 and 800 funerals and have seen a variety of colors, styles, and ranges of attire - widows and widowers in blue jeans -- you name it. I am in Calfifornia though <grin>. Black is traditional, but most traditions are out the window - and that is probably good. We need to be celebrating the person's life. Wear something conservative and neat if you can. The most important thing is to attend and show support.

I have attended several funerals in the past two years (unfortunately). Close family members wore somber attire, but everyone else just dressed normally, as they would for church.

i don't think so. i always do but, nowadays, it's not like it's mandatory. maybe 40+ years ago it would have been offensive. not today.

When one of my friends died we all wore bright colors because she did not like dark colors like black.

you dont have to wear black, you could wear other dark colors. It is usually just unrespectable to wear bright colors because they are lively and a funeral has nothing to do with life.

I believe that you shouldnt worry about wearing black or not. You should be wearing something that doesnt show disrespect to the family. Just remember to go to a funeral to celebrate someones life and all of who they have touched in it. If a friend loved hockey and you played hockey with him/her for many years, maybe in this case it would be appropiate to wear one. Its about the person and not what you wear.

No is is not disrespectful at all. Personally I think that total black is normally worn by the close family ( if at all). Most other people tend to wear sonbre clothing of some kind or another . Bright clothes are worn normally ONLY if it is a request from the family. My Husband died last week and his funeral will be within the next couple of weeks.(there is a backlog due to the holiday period) Both myself and my family will be wearing full black which is pretty traditional in the Catholic Church, but any of my husbands friends or neighbours that wish to come to show they care, I do not mind if they attend in sky blue pink with yelloe dots on. It is the fact they care that counts.

I agree - just conservative; When my sister died I wore a navy pantsuit; For my dad's funeral I wore a beige suit with navy blouse. Recently I helped officiate at an old friend's funeral, and wore a teal coloured matching top and pants....the same outfit I'd worn to my sister-in-law's 2nd wedding. It's not a party or a backyard barbeque, so I'd say the style of clothing is more important than the colour.

i don't think its disrespect to wear something other than black to a funeral. my brother just passed away and i wore a dark pink shirt to the funeral. a funeral is to say goodbye to a loved one or dear friend. your suppose to celebrate

I don't think it's disrespectful. To me black is a very sad color. Most funerals I've been to people don't dress in black, they just wear dress up clothes. Just think, the person is not suffering anymore, and their in a better place. I'm sure he/she would want his friends and family to be somewhat happy, even though that is very hard to do.

No it is not. You should be dressed appropriately for the funeral but color is optional. Wear what you feel comfortable so you can concentrate on WHY you're there - to honor the person that passed.

Tomorrow I am attending my Father's funeral. It is at a funeral home first, then a Catholic service at church. I do not own anything black that is conservative, therefore, I am wearing a navy blue dress and bringing a sky blue sweater along in case I get cold, which I have been a lot lately due to stress. If anyone is concerned with what I am wearing tomorrow then they shouldn't be attending my Dad's funeral. They need to be there for him..not to be the fashion police. I had a hard time dealing with the criticism I have already had from my sister. She is wearing all black. I cannot afford a new outfit and my Father would only be concerned that I attend...not what I wear.

no, you can also wear white,gray.. i dont know why people just stick to the old fashion..

Navy or dark gray work fine. A fine, dark pinstripe looks good without being totally black. Leave the red cashmere at home.

No, but it should still be somber and in good taste. No tee shirts or anything sexy ever.

Opinion Only- Wear what they liked you in.

I think my philosophy is to wear something on the dark side, (not a bright pink or yellow or red coat or dress) but it certainly doesn't have to be black any longer. That is 19-mid 20th century etiquette, IMO.

I think we should wear white because it's more joyful...but like many said, it's not the best time for a fashion statement.

you are there to pay respect, You should wear whatever you feel comfortable in.

It depends on your culture. In some oriental cultures, you would be in disrespect if you did not wear WHITE. In ettiquite books, only the family is supposed to wear black. Friends of the family are to wear colors in order to "cheer" the family up (I guess it could make for some laughs if you come to the funeral in an orange clown suit.)>

I think some people are just judgemental and would judge whatever you were to wear. I believe it doesn't matter what you wear, only that you were there. The family will remember that.

It depends on if the one who died wants the mourners to the one I went to he didn't want that he wanted them to be happy. On the other hand someone might find it very rude not to.

Color is not at issue here. It's respect and reverence. I could be wearing the tackiest clothes yet have the deepest compassion for the departed. Come as you are, just show your respects. The color of your feelings are the most important on which the departed one will see.

I think appropriate attire is determined by the traditions and culture of the deceased. Some cultures wear black, some even forbid black. These are rules that can be amended or bent if the deceased or their family has reason to. Especially if it is at the prior request of the deceased.

Personally, as long as you're not wearing rags, I think whatever you are comfortable in is appropriate. Every funeral I've been to has had an array of apparel. Everything from designer suits to a nice pair of jeans with a dress shirt. The fact that you are there to pay your respects should be more important than what you are wearing.

Someone just died, and you're turning up to say goodbye to their corpse. I think dress formalities are pretty much out of the question.

Depends upon local custom. Black is often a safe color to wear, but in some countries white is the mourning color, in others it's purple. Even undertakers wear suits of various hues these days.

i think it depends really on what the person would have wanted. but to be honest, i wouldnt really want everyone wearing black at MY funeral, id keep it white and happy.

To me, it doesn't matter what color you wear, as long as you are dressed nicely. No jeans and a t shirt.

Not anymore, but neither should you wear things that are bright and draw attention to yourself. So modest, tasteful and in good repair as possible is acceptable in most places.

No, that's in the past. Not that Id wear red, but you can wear colors that are respectful of the situation. Some people have no black clothing.

Yes, not wearing black to a funeral is a spit in the face to the family of the deceased. As for "conservative attire" goes well...if it ain't conservative, it's a Halloween costume. But hey, if you wanna wear a Halloween costume out in public, go ahead. I have no right in telling people what to do.

A mourner should wear apparel that best reflects the relationship the mourner and the deceased had. Hey, the guy is dead, it is you that is having the experience.

I think it is ok because 1) Why would you want to wear black, its depresing and mourning. I am a Christian I believe that when a person dies that is a christian, they join our heavenly father in heaven. So why would you want to be sad or mad or griefing over that. I feel a funeral should be sad yes, but also happy that your lose one got to go to a better place. So say pink or white or yellow i feel are happy colors, because when your loved one dies the last thing you want to see is all black and everyone to be depressed. Of course your going to miss them but also be happy for them. =)

Sadly, I think that is a tradition that is slowly dying, right along with brides wearing white to their wedding and being respectful to elders.

any sombre color is ok

Not at all disrespectful not to wear black. You can wear clothes in mute colors, like dark grey, etc.

Although sombre colours are traditional for funerals it is increasingly common for families to request informal or even colourful clothes be worn, especially for younger people's funerals. The last funeral I attended we were told to wear jeans because the deceased didn't like wearing a suit & tie & didn't want us to be uncomfortable (or need to buy a suit or tie) because of him!

Nope not at all!! modern days you can wear any colour but not bright colours

any somber color is ok

It doesn't matter. Funerals are for the living - the dead care nothing about how you look.

Only if colours are stipulated on the funeral invite.

It depends on what the family wants. I'd say its okay because I went to two funerals not wearing black.

The custom of wearing black funeral attire is dated to the days of the Roman Empire. Their funeral dress attire of dark togas is a symbol for mourning. In this new era, anything goes.

any somber color is ok