Usually there has to be a very good reason for you to actually get his 401(k) or he has to be willing to let you have it. A judge and/or mediator must (as I said) find a very good reason for you to get this. You are not automatically entitled to it. This is a hard question to answer because laws vary so much from place to place and there are community property and equitable distribution states to add to the confusion. The question does not declare what state or type of state you are in. I did get my husband's 401(k) when I divorced (in an equitable distribution state), but I asked for it and had to agree to not also try to get the stock he had purchased from his employer. It was a trade off of sorts. He also admitted that he acquired the 401(k) after we were married and at my suggestion. Not that, that really made a difference. My ex was ordered to pay alimony and he had not shown the court that he was particularly responsible in paying his bills, so the judge ordereed the 401(k) to me as a lump sum upfront for spousal support and granted him the stock purchases. I had to pay the tax on the cashed in 401(k)--I had to cash it in per the decree. Each case is different, so you will have to hash this out with your attorney if you're using one. Hope this helps.

Not where I live, you're not.

You've been married 2 years that is all that counts legally. Unless you were working and heavily involved in the same business as him and have proof you were equally involved in running that business those living together or dating years dont count.

Probably not but talk to a divorce lawyer. The 11 unmarried years together do not count unless you live in one of the 9 states who recognize common law marriage.