Why would I attack myself? ;)

Ask him to take me to dinner first.

Devil nor God has no reason to attack me.

Since I don't have faith in such sort of things probably I try to wake myself up!

(James 4:7) Subject yourselves, therefore, to God; but oppose the Devil, and he will flee from YOU.

Right about turn!!!

Join him.

If the devil attacked me I'd go see a shrink and ask if antipsychotic drugs may not be in order. If a homeless guy claiming to be the devil attacked me, I'd do about what that guy did - hit back, run, call for help. +5

Tickle his balls. He wouldn't be expecting that, so it would hopefully momentarily confuse him enough to make my escape, throwing babies and random old people into his path behind me as I ran.

I would bend him over and make sweet love to him, whilst holding onto his horns. (That`s what the horns are for)

Try to work it out with him. If that wasn't working out, I'd ask Jesus for some help.

Not tonight Honey, I have a headache. LOL

What do you do when a misguided fool comes to destroy your life? ... Dance with me sir ;) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRf50Y1bLyM ><

Although I am an agnostic my childhood instincts would take over. I would make the sign of the cross.

Haha!! goodness me..whatever next..

call my mom shes devils advocate sue the b...d

Kick him back in his b**t

Bite him in the ass.

If the devil attacked, I would remind her that we divorced back in 1981 and she should give it a rest.

+5 Like the Lord did, answer his attack with scripture

nothing,,,,i'am not afraid of things that don't exist,,,,,

Seek psychiatric care.

Laugh at the devil. Only with serenity and strength in the Divine can you win.

I don't usually quote bible verse here but this one holds true to my heart - it lifts me up - it speaks of the armor of truth and righteousness - I am a believer. For non-believers, I submit that you just enjoy the verse for its symbolic content of endurance/strength and hope in all that you encounter. Regardless of faith, truth and hope reign supreme. Ephesians 6:10-17 10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; 15 and your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

Teach him some manners! ;-)

Make a deal! Hell yeah! A huge amount of money so I can buy my familymembers all they desire in exchange for half of my remaining life span.

If I believed that, I'd likely immediately check myself into the local nut house! ;-) - [BTW, keithold: I'll avoid answering your questions for a few days until AB lets me give you points again. I hope you miss me?]

see a shrink and say I'm having hallucinations

I would get God to attack him, since God created the Devil... Ezekiel 28:15 Lucifer was created perfect In all his ways, but iniquity was found In him. يسوع Is great +)

Wake up in a sweat.

He tried and failed right after I was born-again. Prayer and Scripture always succeed at keeping satan at bay.

Kick his ass with my trusty handy dandy golf club!

Why ME? of all the billions of people in this world WHY ME? He better come up with a good reason or ELSE>>

the devil is afraid of me because he knows I have power over him. If you cared to read the Bible you would know this!

shit my pants in fear

Check myself into the nearest nuthouse, keithold! ;-)

Kick his tail.

He has and I refute him with Scripture and with prayer. The Bible says, "Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. Only in the name and power of Jesus Christ can you defeat the devil. You cannot defeat him on your own.

The enemy plans attacks everyday! EVERYDAY! Somedays I feel weak, but God is strong! Somedays I feel strong, and God whispers in my ear "YOU are covered by the blood of Jesus!" Then as I walk through my day......I tell the enemy to GET BEHIND ME! I ask that my Lord walk before me as to prepare my path, and after me to protect where I have been.

Call on Jesus

Kich him in his shiny red balls, if necessary, kill him. My dad worked in a psych hospital and I used to meet him on certain week days to play golf. Believe me there are thousands of devils, jesus',and you name it.They are all quite convincing cause they study the bible. This is why I never take the religious types too serious, especailly the most devout.

bend over and kiss my ass goodbye LOL, I dont imagine if such a creature existed I would be much of a mach against the super natural

I'd have her arrested... again.

Damn him to Hell, I heard he doesn't like that.

Well, Since he is immortal i would probably get killed! :(

devil lies in thyself... So attack back with wisdom.

Pray. We are attacked everyday. Pray without ceasing.

I would show Satan no fear and use my strong will to push him out of my way! I would also call on God.

Rip his trachea out

Identify with the aggressor.

Being that half the people in the religion section already think I am the devil, I would have nothing to fear in their eyes.

First i would not allow the space in my heart for devil and then there is not question of fighting with them.

Kick his ass.

I would fight back with everything I had, and see if I could steal his power by killing him.

Cover my asshole. And say a Hail Mary.

pepper spray him

haha..i had a dream i had to fight him with a stick..a loooong time ago but doesnt he attack you everyday

I always carry a bottle of holy water, and a loaded gun, with me.

The devil is invisible, just like God and Jesus. I would slay him with my invisible sword. I have one.

why would i attack myself,sure i get a bit bored sometimes,but still,i find things to do...

He attacks me everyday and everyday I go crawling back to the throne of Grace.

Use my weapon to defeat him.

Pray to my Lord Jesus Christ to protect me; invoke his name. Outside of that, no mortal has a shot.

Tell him he is being quite unthoughtfull and that I dont appreciate it.

Piss in his beer.

Poke him in the eye with a fork.

Our goals are common. He has no purpose to attack me.

I would just submit and let Him have His way. If it pleased Him to attack me, that would be ok with me.

Run like hell.

Call the angels. +5

He tried to once 12 years ago. I didn't half'ta do anything; God took care of him.

* To illustrate: As you walk along in a pleasant park, you notice a sturdy high fence blocking off part of the grounds. The landscape beyond the fence looks inviting. At first, you might view the fence as a needless restriction of your freedom. As you look through it, though, you notice a ferocious lion stalking prey on the other side! Now you see the fence for what it is—a protection. Is there a dangerous predator stalking you right now? God’s Word warns: “Keep your senses, be watchful! Your adversary, the Devil, walks about like a roaring lion, seeking to devour someone.”—1 Peter 5:8. ** Satan is a vicious predator. Because Jehovah does not want us to become Satan’s prey, He has instituted laws to protect us from the many “crafty acts” of that wicked one. (Ephesians 6:11) So whenever we meditate on God’s laws, we should see in them the love of our heavenly Father. Viewed in that light, God’s laws are a source of security and joy.

pray

Interesting question! Someone may say that there is no such thing as the Devil. But the Bible tells us that the Devil revealed himself in the Garden of Eden, when he rebelled against God. Then in the days of Noah we read in Genesis 6 v 2 that they saw the women were beautiful and materialised in order to take wives. When the flood came, they returned to Heaven and chose to join Satan's rebellion and hence the devil became their ruler. Of course they cannot change into humans anymore but they are still misleading the entire inhabited earth.... - Revelation 2 v 9. So how can they attack us? Well if we start reading tarot cards, use a crystal ball, or looking at our horoscopes, these practices may seem fun and harmless. But they are not. This brings us under the influence of these demons. Another trick they use is talking to the dead. When we lose someone we love we can be so overwhelmed with grief that we can be susceptible to people who tell us we can speak with the dead loved one. Religious leaders even tell us that our dead loved ones are not really dead but have gone to heaven, or elsewhere. The dead are dead. The demons also frighten us They are violent and aggressive. So, the one way to protect ourselves is to put our faith in the one True God. James tells us "draw close to God and he will draw close to you" We all need to oppose the Devil. It is important to study the Bible and pray.

Since we have the power to command him, I'd command him to leave, in Jesus name. Amen. And he would have to leave. However, Satan is not that obvious. He is devious and cunning and attacks us subtly every day. So I do my best to put on the full armor of God as stated in Ephesians 6 starting with verse 13: "13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; 15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: 18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;"

He already has. He's on another website under the name Sicarium.

I would do the only thing that would help me I will call upon the name of Jehovah and ask Jesus Christ to save me from the devil's attack