I was choked and abused by my ex about 7 times. we're friends but im staying away from him still. im not sure if i need help, like talking to a professional. im still pretty angry at times. do you have any advice? anyone who can help the anger go away?
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 37
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it really does help to talk - a professional, a trusted friend - just find someone who will listen and let you get it all out.
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get help before the anger consumes you and you end up really hurting those you love
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get help from aprofessional they helped me when i was rapped
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Why would you want to be friends with someone who chokes you? With friends like that, who needs enemies? ... You need to be around people who don't abuse you. Whether they are "professionals" or not does not matter.
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How are you friends with this guy seriously? You're making a bad decision. I think you definitely need to see a professional. 7 times..... Seven different times, this man thought "Hey it's okay I'll just choke the shit out of her." 7 times he though, "I'll just rough her up," not 2 or 3 or 4 times. 7. Seven. Let that number sink in before you consider this guy your "friend". Seven. I'm getting angry now. I mean how stupid can you be? The thing that gets me is I'm a fairly young guy, haven't had a lot of relationships, but I get dumped, and I get worried for such menial stuff, and I get dumped. This guy has put you in a violent, abusive situation, Seven times, and he's still your friend. I don't get it. I just don't get it. Women and asshole guys....I don't get it.
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I would ignore the fucker completely, and consider speaking to a psychiatrist.
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OK first he/she is not your friend! Friends do not choke each other in an abusive manner. Second in your state there should be an 800 number you can call they will listen all night and day if you want them to. They will also direct you to some one on one, face to face professionals. You have every right to feel angry, its a feeling earned the hard way. Its what you do with the anger, so please whoever you are seek help and guidence. I wish you well!
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get this person out of your life. you're letting him know that it's alright to abuse you without suffering any consequences. i think that you won't be truly ok until you learn to let people like this out of your life. otherwise, you'll continue to be abused. :(
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embrace this anger, it will protect you from similar people in the future
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Stop communicating with him and get a professional or friend you can talk to. Speaking from experience, your feelings are going to be a lot easier to sort through once he's COMPLETELY out of your life.
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i would say go to a professional or find a really close friend. but if he did that to you why are you still friends? he dosent sound worth it.
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Stay far far away from your ex. Talk to a counselor to help you w/ breaking this cycle of abuse to teach you warning signs so you will avoid abusive relationships.Also if you have children you won't want them following this pattern either.If money is an issue look in the phone book for the women's resource center.I believe it is free or what you can afford.Good Luck and God Bless...
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get a restriating order and go to anger mangament
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Yes you do need professional help! Many times someone who had a messed up childhood will seek a certain type of person that doesn't treat them well. It usually isn't a choice that you are conscious of. It is not your fault he is a jerk. You really should talk to someone about the abuse. Being abused repeatedly leaves psychological scars. Anger is one way of trying to cope. Good luck, and please at least talk to a counselor.
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Keep your appointments with your professional.
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You're friends?!? Girl, this man is not your friend! You have every right to be angry. You do not have to make up with this man - at all! * Your anger is there for a reason - to keep you safe from abuse. Listen to it. Keep away from him! * Seek help to grow strong with yourself and recognize how valuable you are and that you don't have to settle for that kind of sorry excuse for a "friend" or any other kind of relationship.
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First I would like to say that you should be proud of yourself for finding the strength to leave, not many would have done the same thing as you did. Second, your past relationship left you with emotional scars that you were not able to handle alone and the abuse has caused damage to self esteem and inablity to express yourself without being angry, if you ignore it, it will get worse and worse. I tried to commit suicide to escape the pain he put me through. I have been where you are- the anger and the depression etc. Right now I'm attending counseling and what I've learned so far is once I let the guilt and anger go I will be able to live a much happier life...What you need is counseling and also join support groups where people would understand what you're going through. I wish you all the best hugs!!! :)
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The worst part is not so much about him..if I may be honest with you. I did not quite understand why I was in that same state until I realised that I had not found a reason for my stupidity..(wrong choices) speaking to my counsellor helped. She asked me how old was I when I got myself involved. I was too young and naive. It clicked she unlocked my mind and heart and I finally found peace with myself..which later was easier to forgive others..also.
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That would help I would press charges that is assault.
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you know I how I know you need some help? because you said he's choked you 7 times and you're his FRIEND!!!! why would you put yourself through that? beating up pillows does good for anger issues but seriously, go talk to someone and get him out of your life
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Leave, dont be dependent on drugs, find a new meaning to life.
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Personally, I feel you are doing the right thing ... for your sake!! ..... to stay away from your ex. And yes, you do need help and to talk with a professional - your anger is an indicator of the need. I don't understand, though, why you would continue to be friends with him. You deserve much better than what he has given you so far. Good luck and GOD bless!!
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You're doing the right thing to reach out for help. Anger is natural after such repeated abuse. I encourage you to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They can tell you the nearest DV programs that can provide you with free assistance. There's LOTS of help out there, and you are not alone. Just a little piece of information: you were NOT choked. Choking is what happens when you get something caught in your throat. When someone puts their hands on your neck and squeezes, that is known in the DV and law enforcement world as strangulation. It is very, very dangerous and can cause problems down the road. I encourage you to ask the DV hotline to direct you to a good health care provider who understands DV. However, by reaching out, you are on the path to a better future. Dump this so-called friend and find out what really good friends can be like! You deserve it.
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When you take responsibility for PROTECTING YOURSELF, by NOT being "friends" with someone who has and would seek to physically, mentally and emotionally ABUSE YOU...try to kill you by choking you.... You might just find your anger going away. The SMART SIDE OF YOU..keeps you angry because this asshole isn't your friend, nor is he worthy of your friendship or consideration... Start LISTENING TO YOUR INNER VOICE...AND STOP DELUDING YOURSELF THAT THIS IS A FRIEND.
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If you had a friend that was abused by a guy and she told you they were still "friends", what would you think? My dear, your ex is not your friend and you shouldn't be his. I was in an abusive relationship for many years. Both physical and emotional. After sixteen years of being away from my ex, I am still scarred from it. I never got any help. Do I wish I would have...definitely. Yes. If you can afford it get some professional help. Good Luck to you, Anonymous.
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God can help anger go away from anyone for any thing. You need to turn to Him.
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You were choked and abused by somebody that you still call your friend? Yeah...I'd say you need help. Check yourself into a hospital for mental issues before you get checked into a hospital for physical issues.
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You seem kinda Kinky...
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Get the hell out of there as fast as you can.
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You must be kidding.He chocked you, abused you and you're angry. AND YOU"RE STILL FRIENDS? Why didn't you file charges? That's called assault. You better make an appointment with a shrink, you're really confused.
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Why in the name of everything holy; would you be FRIENDS with some lousy JERK who choked you at least 7 Times ? YES; you definately need professional help and there ARE counselors who CAN try to help you work thru all of your emotions etc .... Get an appointment ASAP as YOU really do need the HELP !! +5
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You need a new brain, if You keep being friends with Him. Maybe try attending self-defense trainings. It helps both with anger, fear and... self-defense.
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stop trying to be his friend. close the book on that chapter in your life and you will find it easier to not be angry. you subconcious is trying to protect you from being stupid.
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It sounds that you are a prime example of mental and physical abuse. How long were you with him? When someone is abused a lot, they at times can become accustomed to it. It even reflects on into other relationships unless you break the cycle. The main thing is knowing you are worth more than to be abused. Begin thinking highly of yourself. Yes, I feel seeking counseling would help you a lot. You need a way to vent and someone who can help you through this.
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Wow, you're a really strong person for telling people about this like really. Just scream into a pillow and hit it a couple times. Do something you enjoy doing to turn anger into calm. Maybe talk to someone about it who's willing to listen. Like a close friend. If you need more help then you can talk to me :) I like helping. As I said, let the anger but in a positive way.
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Please go get some help. You should definitely not be friends with that abuser anymore. Abusers tend to try to control and manipulate you. And this can cause low self esteem and anger issues. Your anger will remain if you remain friends with this cruel person. I recommend a psychologist. I went to one and they helped me sort out my anger issues and depression. My love goes out to you. I hope you find your true love who will treat you with respect, love and dignity.
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That's assault. Why are you still friends with someone that abuses and chokes you. Get the sob out of your life and the anger should go away. You need help sure you do report this to police. he belongs in jail.
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