I saw a funny sign today in a restaurant; "Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy". Can you tell me some funny signs you've seen in businesses?
by 
the VP wears a Wicked COAT
ANSWERS: 46
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Hahaha!!!!
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If you are a rude, obnoxouis, or just plain nasty person, there will be a $10 charge just for putting up with you.
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in Arizona for business, saw a sign in a restaurant "Rugby Players must be accompanied by a Responsible Adult" I really want to know the story behing that!
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bar signs :)
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I've gotten so many in funny emails and on websites. But I remember one at a public pool where we went to to learn to swim when we were kids. The office had a sign that said "Please don't pee in our pool, we don't swim in your toilet." Edit: LOL! I googled and found it online!
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*Forget the dog, beware of owner* on an army base *All this base are belong to us* *Warning! Touching wires causes instant death. $200 fine*
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At church
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"Children left unattended will be sacrificed." - Local pagan shop
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Okeedokee:
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hahaha! Yeah, there is this beautiful spot on the other side of town. It is a dead end road. In between two private beaches ( condos...) and there are a bunch of big rocks right there, where the land meets the water. The gat big spalshes, and it is a great place to see the sunset. There is a huge sign right there, a real sigh, city provided... It reads. * No , standing, sitting, parking, u turns, loitering, trespassing... * and so on... It really made us scared to leave! We just sat there, wondering, how do we get out of here?
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At the tattoo shop that I go to, there is a huge sign right by the entrance that states in huge bold letters: "PLEASE KEEP YOUR CHILDREN UNDER CONTROL. IF YOU ARE HAVING PROBLEMS PLEASE LET AN ATTENDANT KNOW." What's so funny about it is that everyone that works there is covered in tattoos, and have everything piereced, and probably look very intimidating to children.
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NO TRESSPASSING! TRESSPASSERS WILL BE SHOT! SURVIVORS WILL BE SHOT AGAIN
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Linda Joy I saw one that said Trespassers will be eaten!
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Haven't seen anything as good as your sign VP.
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At the reservation store near my parent's house there is a sign on the door that reads: "Since you are on our land: All shop lifters will be shot. No exceptions."
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This sign is on the steep downgrade on I-5, over the Siskyou mountains from Oregon to California - just before the 'bug station': "Brakeless Trucks, Please Use Freeway". Out of context, it always tickles my funny bone. Another sign in the rest area (kind of rude) seen on a condom machine: "Truckers - Tarp your Loads".
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There's a neighbourhood store by a gas station where I live and a sign at the door reads "Only Five Kids In The Store!" When I saw that, I wondered "Huh, do they mean there are only five kids inside the store right now??" Lol. What they meant to say was "Only Five Kids Allowed In the Store at a Time".
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i liked this one =]
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Here is a great sign:
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hunters, fishers, and liars welcome.
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A grocery store a few towns away once had on their big sign "YOU CAN'T BEAT OUR MEAT!"
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At the hot springs near Chiang Mai, Thailand, on the door to the men's bath house was a sign with an English "translation" that read: Warnings: Blue cock mean COLD Red cock mean HOTT
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A sign by the road for a gas station: "My boss told me to change this sign so I did."
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look at these?
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Stiff Nipples Air Conditioning Service --Seen in Orlando, FL Snippity Spay and Neuter Clinic --Seen in Gulf Port, MS There will be a $5 charge for whining --Seen in Foley, AL We try to keep our bathroom clean. Please help us out: Gentlemen, your aim would help. Its shorter than you think Ladies, please remained seated for the entire performance --Seen in Pensacola, FL 100% Anus Beef in Hardee's Thick Burgers Think Thick Tonight --Seen in Columbus GA CAUTION: THIS SIGN HAS SHARP EDGES! DO NOT TOUCH THE EDGES OF THIS SIGN! also the bridge is out ahead. --Seen near Olean, NY
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"Unless you're on fire, no smoking allowed!" "Honk if you love peace and quiet"
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Linda Joy
lol
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Unattended children will be sold to the gypsies.
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At an independently-owned coffee shop, this sign was posted: Good Friends Don't Let Friends Drink Starbucks.
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a sign a few miles south of a nearby town says "Bridge Wet When Raining"
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"This isn't burger king. You don't get it your way. You get it my way, or you don't get the damn thing!!" I want one for my room.....
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"Parking for fruit customers only. (People customers park around back)"
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I've seen one that says: Good Service Good Food Good Prices Choose 2 of the 3
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I saw a sign in our local diner: YCJCYODFTJB Pay $1.00 to find out the answer It meant: Your Curiousity Just Cost You One Dollar For The Juke Box
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Over a bar: Phone Answer Fees Yeah, he's here - FREE He just left - $5.00 Haven't seen him - $10.00 Who? - $20.00
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Sign on back of car: "Keep honking, I'm reloading!"
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In the city where I live there are large fixed signs on the main roads that say: POLICE NOW TARGETING.... followed by a space below where Police can place an additional interchangeable message like "Drink Driving", "Speeding", "Seat Belts" etc. Some prankster wrote "Your Wallet".
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Hahaha that sign is my Facebook profile pic right now :P
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"Deisel Fried Chicken"
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My neighbor got me a refridgerator magnet in the shape of Texas, that said "We don't call 911"
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'Caution - This sign has sharp edges' 'Do Not Enter, trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.'
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A San Francisco bar had a sign that said, "No Sniveling". A restaurant in Japantown had one that said, "Special Today, Humbuger Steak". Another one had one saying, "We Close For Remodel, Sorry For Inconvience". At the stairs landing was one saying, "Anyone pass Urine On Staircase Will Be Prosecuted".
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ive never seen those signs but they are funny
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In a restaurant there was a sign near the cashier that originally said "Please wait to be seated" but some smart aleck removed the first and last letters of the last word so it read, "Please wait to be ate".
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Covid tests in the rear (I thought you get tested in the nose).
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My ex thought it would be funny to have a sign in "his" bar that said "Liquor up front, poker in the rear"
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In God We Trust...All others pay in cash.
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At a Covid Clinic...Tests given in the rear. I thought is was a nasal swab.😄
Spicy Hot 
Mrs. C 
Moongrim 
pearllederman 
OC Joe 
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