Threaten to call the police and report his truancy. If he still refuses, follow through on the threat. If he is not mature enough to go to school, and will resort to intimidating his own mother to get his own way, he is asking for trouble. If need be, give him that trouble. Better he learn the hard lessons now, with a loving family to help him recover, than learn them later when he's on his own.

I agree with RoselynnsBigBro 100%. Tough love. Plus, she might ask him how he is going to support himself. She should explain that his job right now is to go to school, and get good grades, and that is how he earns a roof over his head, clothes on his back and food in his stomach. If he chooses not to earn his keep this way, then he is going to have to go out and get a full time job and turn over his paycheck to cover the rent on his room, the cost of feeding and clothing him, utilities, etc. Not too many jobs he can get that are as easy as going to school and have guaranteed weekends and summers off. Plus, most places won't hire anyone under 18 fulltime, and have rules that they can only work certain hours when the school year is in session. As far as his plans for the future, ask him what he wants to do for a living after he moves away from home, and have him do some investigating to see how easy it would be to get hired in his chosen field without a diploma. Most places won't hire someone without a diploma for any meaningful pay, because it shows that they are not willing to work for what they want, or that they quit when things get difficult. There are not too many adults out there standing around saying, " Man I am so glad I decided to quit school when I was a teenager, my life has been so enriched because of it!"

One time I heard a speaker give an interesting take on the importance of staying in school: He said that there is a possibility that the military will reinstate the draft. If they do, he warned that the troops that would most likely be the first wave on the frontline would be the least educated (most expendible)

She needs to simply phone the police. In many states upon being called the state police will come to your house and escort you to school.

Take him for a little trip around town and show him the people who did not graduate from high school. the bums on the street, the alcoholics and drug abusers, the people who have nothing. see if you can get a little tour of the county jail, and say that if these people had the opportunities that your son had, they would have ended up with better rules for living. a high school education is the key to better working conditions and possible advanced education possibilities.

Every time he wants something from her or her husband they should say why should they when he won't cooperate with them! Constantly remind him he gets nothing unless he complies!

There is no fool proof formula that will solve this. I've been through it. I handcuffed him to a chair one night. Calling the Police does NOTHING. I brought him to school and walked him in the door every day. He walked out the back door. I was taken to court because of his absences, but I never gave up. He always knew what I expected of him. He did eventually stick it out and graduated. He is now an Electrician and is doing VERY well. The moral is, this will not be easy but if she loves him, she will put the time and effort in to help him succeed. GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL...HANG IN.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw_3_6?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=boundaries+with+kids&sprefix=bounda While he is out of the house, move everything out of his room but his mattress, bedding, and enough clothing to get him through a week (your choice, not his). For each week of perfect attendence, he can earn back one item of your choice.

If your sister-in-law doesn't feel she can get her son to go to school just because he is bigger than her, then she is a lost cause. And she probably lost it long ago. Size does not displace respect. Perhaps family counseling would be the better suggestion in this case.

stop feeding him. he'll become weak and then she can push him over.

Tell him that it's time to get out of her house and get a job since he can't do what he's told. Send him to boot camp. I threatened my step son with that even took him to see it. He straightened up right away.

I can get my daughter to go to school but then skips. Talked to the school counselor, police officer. they recommended probation. Called to put her on it but the supervisor sd she hasn't commited any crimes (only status offense-skipping) so use counseling. WE'VE BEEN IN IT! Guess we have to wait until she gets in big trouble. No wonder the drop out rate is so high.

That food thing isn't a bad idea. Go to school he eats. Doesn't go to school he gets two dry slices of bread and 1 slice of balogna - thirsty? The faucet is full of water. If he decides to eat something other than the balogna and she catches him take it from him and throw it in the garbage fork plate and all. Don't worry she'll have plenty of time to fish the dishes out of the gargage when he's not looking because he'll probably storm out of the house mad. Hey, she's mom and moms the boss - don't cross mom...

Don't engage in a power struggle with him. Set limits and remove privileges until he goes to school and brings his grades up. Go to school with him, set up a meeting with the principal, his father,(if possible)and his teachers. Take an active part in his education. Require him to have his teachers sign an assignment book and contact them daily if necessary to see if he is completing his assignments. Ground him until he turns his behavior around offer no video games, phone calls, text messaging or socializing until he takes responsibility. Remember who sets the rules.

Talk sense to him.

Talk sense to him.

Is the boy's dad in the picture? If so, it should be a team effort. Here, in Wisconsin, the parents can face legal problems (some have been arrested) for kids who are truant. My three brothers were much larger than our Mom, but respected her enough that none of us would ever have thought of a physical confrontation. So size didn't matter. She needs to make him face the reality of what his life will be without education, maybe a trip to a homeless shelter would shock him. Maybe a trip to a juvenile detention facility. Sounds like time for some "tough love".

shoot anytime you have to convince, coerce or bribe a child to go to school when you are the parent and they are living in your house, eating your food, watching your tv while you have the luxury of buying their clothes the battle is lost. There are a lot of things she didn't do when this child was small and to try to do it now is almost impossible. My boys are 18. The oldest twin stands at 6'3", 220lbs, the youngest twin is 6'2", 250lbs and when I tell them something now even though they don't live under my roof they say 'yes mam.' Even if I tell one of my daughters to tell the oldest twin to call or text me he will text these words, 'mam?' If I had waited until these boys were almost grown and tried to make them do something I doubt it would have worked. I started when they were small. The same analogy can be used with a tree. Go outside and bend a young tree to the left. Next bend a 15 yr old tree to the left. Which one will you be more successful at? Yeah you may be able to get that 15yr old tree to move but it is going to take some HARD labor to accomplish it.

Call up a truancy officer from his school, or each morning he starts refusing, call the cops and have them escort him to school. Grounded until he can learn to comply with the rules.

She needs to contact the Juvenile Court authorities for assistance .... This little punk needs to be taught a lesson. Maybe the week end in Juvie will set him straight.

if she has a little money send his ass to military academy for kids

Buy a cattle prod. That should get him moving.

I would get the truancy officer involved. He might decide then it is in his best interest. ;)

When my dad died my brother refused to go to school and his mam "couldnt" make him she asked my help, I emptied his room of everything but his school uniform and bed, he was allowed 1 thing back per week he went to school. first week, tv, second week computer. if all fails drag him!

Size has nothing to do with who has the power in the mother son relationship. She has to set rules and enforce them. If that means she has to wrestle him into the car and drive him to school, she should do it. If it means she has to hold his hand and walk him to class to make sure he gets there, she should do it. If he continues to refuse, she should consider telling him to go to school or get a full time job and an apartment of his own and she should mean it. Living in the parents home entitles the parents to expect him to live by their rules.

Size has nothing to do with who has the power in the mother son relationship. She has to set rules and enforce them. If that means she has to wrestle him into the car and drive him to school, she should do it. If it means she has to hold his hand and walk him to class to make sure he gets there, she should do it. If he continues to refuse, she should consider telling him to go to school or get a full time job and an apartment of his own and she should mean it. Living in the parents home entitles the parents to expect him to live by their rules.

I never had the problem. I think kids learn from example and if she's intimidated by him all she had left is coercion. If he gets an allowance, stop it immediately, all he gets in his room is a bed, desk, lamp and schoolbooks. Anything else has to go. If he's still refuses, call the truant officer, otherwise, she's liable for his truancy. I don't think a weekly return of luxuries and privileges is appropriate. A monthly schedule would be more effective. Also have him get a part time job if he wants spending money. Let him get a taste of the real world. If he hits her or gets physical, call the police and don't pay for his lawyer. Parents in this situation are usually the first to give so support her as much as possible. Never, Never take the kid's side. Sure she caused the trouble but there is still no reason for it to continue.

i learned the hard way, that after 16 there isn't much a parent can do. they can excuse themselves from school, they can even walk into the office and drop out of school and legally we have not a leg to stand on. talk to him, try to calmly explain how he needs his education. and hope he listens. it's hard i know, my daughter did the same thing, and now at 26 she is still trying to get her GED so she can get a job that pays enough to be able to live on her own comfortably. good luck to you. i know it's heartbreaking.

i learned the hard way, that after 16 there isn't much a parent can do. they can excuse themselves from school, they can even walk into the office and drop out of school and legally we have not a leg to stand on. talk to him, try to calmly explain how he needs his education. and hope he listens. it's hard i know, my daughter did the same thing, and now at 26 she is still trying to get her GED so she can get a job that pays enough to be able to live on her own comfortably. good luck to you. i know it's heartbreaking.

She should not have to bribe her child to go to school, and if he feels that he doesn't have to go, then he needs to go get a job and his own place.

The two of you should do the following: Tell him you love him. Hug him. Drive him over to where the homeless people live and show him. Go show him the local soup line. Ask the local military recruiters to come by your home and introduce them to him. Find out who he feels is a mentor or someone he likes and ask that person to support you in getting the boy on the ball. Smother him with kindness. Ask a teacher or coach or preacher to come by and talk with all of y'all.

Then she is probably the reason he won't go to school. She needs to be the parent and not "enable" him to do this by allowing it. He obviously does not take her seriously. She needs to take charge. Her size has nothing to do with it!!