Thank you for your honesty...you seem pretty genuine in saying that you are sorry and that you truly love your boyfriend. My ex girlfriend broke up with me and a week later slept with my bestfriend...I can understand what your boyfriend is going through. Honestly what I needed was time and sometimes nothing can help. If I were you I would give it sometimemaybe two weeks. Make it obvious that you are miserable but do not make it obvious that you are trying to let him know. Then just sit him down and talk to him. Pour your heart out to him to let him know he is the one for you and that he is more than a late night druken reunion with an ex...I hope this helps..please dont do this to him again if you get him back.

It was a combination of a lot of things. I'm not trying to say it wasn't my fault. I got drunk and an ex was speaking to me. I never really got any closure with my ex, so we were just sorting things out. He kissed me and I kissed him back. Being drunk isn't an excuse. I have no excuse. My boyfriend works away for 6 months of the year in total. I feel unattractive and insecure in myself. I feel like maybe I felt I wasn't good enuff for my bf so I had to prove that I wasn't worthy of his love.

you can't. my husband cheated on me, and it is so devastating and soul destroying. there is nothing you can do, or say that will make things better or make him feel better. it times time for him to sort out his feelings, but if he is like me, the hurt stays inside, i don't know if it will ever go or you just learn to live with it. the fact is you are not stupid, you cheated, you knew what you where doing and wanted both worlds. it was selfish and nothing you can do will change this fact, it's done and it doesn't really go away. there is probably no way back, sorry.

i'll let you know when i tell my bf and he leaves me and i need to get him back and hopefully do. then ill tell you how to get him back. but its not really up to you i dont think i think its all up to him if he can forgive you.

You did a great job by telling him the truth, because by hiding it it will turn out worse. If you do love him, why did you cheat on him in the first place? He is probably doubting himself, and his ability to make you happy. If that is not the case, then when you talk to him show him that he is worth your time, he is worthy. Do not become a doormat, do not become someone that he can step on, but show him common courtesy and more so. Brighten up when he walks in the room, talk about how much he is cute, and attractive, but don't over do it. Too much flattery can take away the flattery. You hurt him really bad. When someone cheats it is usually because they are not happy with the current relationship that is going on right now, whether it be, they are not getting what they need or want out of it. You have dumped crap on his heart so to speak and you need to start cleaning it up. Make amends, and if you have to apologize again and again for it. Ultimately it is his decision if he can keep on going, because you hurt him, and he feels like you will hurt him again.

You are not alone on AB today. I have seen at least two others in similar predicaments. You are brave and right to have confessed, and your boyfriend is sweet for trying to get through it, but it's not easy, and the odds were against you. You are going to have to let him go, and learn from your mistake for next time. Honour your partner and you give yourself honour.

Hello, I read what else you said. Sorry I didn't read it before. I will say this. If you want to get your bf back then I would suggest this. Take some time away, and if he would help find closure to your last relationships. If you don't find closure with any of your past relationships before you make a new one you will be bringing in the baggage of your old relationships in to your new ones. You need to find closure. My other advice is, don't drink more than you can handle, be responsible, not only for your sake, but for your boyfriends as well. You can be taken advantage of, and you can't really control what you do, so to remedy that, drink responsibly. I am sorry your bf is gone 6 months out of the year, but does he do anything or say anything to make you feel worthless. If he is gone because of school or even work it is trying to provide a good living for himself, and maybe for you in the future. Yes, it will be hard, but he obviously cares about you, especially since he says that it is too hard for him. You crushed him, and you made him feel worthless and like crap, which should tell you, that he thinks of you greatly, and with high respect. You should keep apologizing, and say you will drink responsibly. You will find closure with your past relationships, so you won't bring any of the junk in to this one. Again, it is his decision to end it completely, but ask him with complete sincerity to give you two a little more time, and he will not regret it, and you will never do it again (Please don't ever do it again). If you think of him greatly, then show him such, by thinking of yourself highly and with respect (which is obviously how he thought of you), and showing him as much thankfulness as well.

I agree with what everyone is saying in that yes, it did take a lot of guts to admit to your boyfriend that you cheated on him. Many people live with their lies - until, of course, they catch up with them (as all lies do). So kudo's to you for being honest with him. I have to disagree, however, with the idea, or the suggestion that you are any type of victim in this situation. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, uncaring, or both, but, the reality of this situation is that you are the one who did something wrong. Should you be condemned forever and a day for that? No, of course not. But, you should also try to avoid comforting yourself with reasons and excuses for why you did what you did. I might be unpopular in saying this, but it is my firm and unwavering belief that, no matter what their situations, motivations, or whatever, when people cheat, they CHOOSE to hurt their significant other. Being drunk, being unhappy, being stressed, wanting "more" - they are all just self-serving excuses that give the cheater a false sense of justification. What is really important is regaining your boyfriend's trust. He is not a prize to be "won" - he is a human being, and one who is, undoubtedly, quite hurt and angry with you at the moment. The emotional rollercoaster that people go through when they are cheated on is unpredictable in it's duration and severity. However, it is important that you give him time and space, no matter how uncomfortable that makes you feel. If you miss him, too bad. He needs space, and regaining his trust means that it can't be all about you and satisfying your needs and wants. Make it about him, and proving to him that you love him, and will do anything to make amends. Become consistent in what you say and do, always follow through with promises, and be mature enough to recognise that he's hurt. You may also need to face the unfortunate reality that there are very real consequences to our actions, and sometimes, that means losing someone we love. I sincerely hope it doesn't come to that for you both, and I wish you the best of luck.

Sorry, if you "loved him so much" you never ever would have cheated and betrayed him. Admitting it means nothing, he could have heard it down the line anyway. He tried to forgive but apparently he can't and I dont blame him. You cant win him back, you apparently devastated him.

sounds like you really loved him if you got into bed with someone else. Good on him for leaving you, I would have done the exact same thing. Don't think there's much you can do now, you've lost his trust and once that is lost, you have not much else.

Well done for confessing that takes alot of courage, however you have hurt him. If you love him let him go. No offence but he will probably be better off without him. You made a mistake you have to live with that. But he doesnt have to love through it.

Eh I can't help you with your current predicament but if things don't work out, I suggest looking for people who don't make monogamy a huge deal. If I were in your bf's place my main concern would be whether you were responsible about protection for both your sake and mine, other than that on the sexual side go wild, I wouldn't demand than another free individual be "mine" alone. What I would be most annoyed about, would be that you did not come forth right away that you wanted to sleep with other people, what that tells me about you is that you either don't trust me to be understanding (in fact I'd be sympathetic and encouraging in that case) or that you were convoluted about your own desires, both behaviors hint at underlying uncertainty about your own wants, and that is a certain turn-off. So do care about others, but give most weight to your own wants and needs.

You forfeited the relationship when you cheated. Winning him back has long passed - It's over now move on and don't repeat what you have done with the next one.

write him a letter but dont send it till it dosn't sound wierd explain U'R feelings and u'r apologey's

its gonna be rough, you are gonna have to start over as friends and re-earn that trust if it can be.

wow....i am not judging you at all....but, you cheated on him for a reason.....how would you feel if he had cheated on you????? would you take him back???? take care.......brian.....

Sweetheart you should have thought of that before you opened your legs and let another man who wasn't your boyfriend fuck you. It's too late now for winning him back and I can't say I blame him. You cheated, You were wrong, and now you are paying the price. Learn from your mistakes move on to someone else and don't cheat again.

So many people dont consider the consequences of cheating on your boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. Too many people think that their partner should accept whatever excuse they give them and continue on with the relationship. There is no excuse for cheating if you really love and respect your partner and once your partner finds out that you have cheated, and feel they do not want to continue a relationship with someone that doesnt take their love seriously, then too bad for the cheater. I think it is plain stupid to cheat so easily, just for that instant gratification and, in turn, throw away what could have been a wonderful loving relationship. Try to be a little more disciplined next time and if you cant do that, then dont subject someone to thinking they are in a committed relationship with you!

you don't. if you loved him, you would've kept your legs closed. he made the right choice.

Chances are...you can't. Accept it and move on, just remember the consequences of your actions, and LEARN from them, in the future.

you dont. he has made his decision, you just respect it and go away. BTW...it urks the hell outta me when cheaters CLAIM to love the one they betrayed. think deep and hard and you will realize that you dont really love him.

I'm pretty sure its his final decision. If you really love him let him go.

Its entirely in his hands, and it seems that it is just too hard to trust you again. Learn from this however, cheating is the one thing basically that is unforgivable in many relationships.

you don't - the trust has gone - you hurt him - you should've realised you loved him before cheating - his best option is to walk away and find someone who will love him and not cheat

You have already broken his heart.

He's given you a chance which is perfect to start with, some partners aren't understanding and finish it immediately, so you are a lucky girl. I'm sure a lot will be going on in his head at the moment, so give him a little bit more time. Things do start to get better, and your boyfriend can grow to trust you again. It will most definatly take him a long time, but if you love him that much then just let him know, make sure he knows exactly how you feel and how you are so determined to make your relationship work. However if he has made the past 3 weeks of your relationship a misery, constantly bringing up the incident of you cheating on him, you have to sit back and think hard... if he gives you another chance, it will never be completely forgotten, he may bring it up a year or so down the line. If you can live with that then try and get him back!!

You cheated. Let him go. Don't worry about this "trying to win him back" nonsense. Just be a good person and STOP CHEATING. If you're meant to be, it'll work itself out in time.

What I don't understand is that if you "love him so much" then why did you cheat on him to begin with? Ultimately it is his decision. You destroyed his trust in you.

You crossed the line and he will never forget it, no matter what you do. Cheating is like cancer to the other person. it slowly eats away at your self-pride and trust is never really the same. Too bad.

Give him time. It is common for the cheater to be "so sorry" and then repeat the same behavior. His trust is gone. Trust takes time to be regained. Tell him you want to regain his trust but understand why it is gone. He may need some space and for you to take a few steps back from the relationship while you re-earn is trust as a friend.

The best chance you have of putting your relationship back together is to acknowledge that there was no excuse for what you did. And to tell him that you love him enough to understand and to even wish that he not suffer any more pain. Even if that means leaving you. Then drop it. If time heals this wound, he'll let you know. And that horrible time of suspense between now and the end (whichever way it goes) is the price you pay for your actions

You obviously don't love him very much if you cheated on him.

You didn't love him much when you cheated. I would say tell him how you feel, but if he just flat out walked up to you and told you it was too hard then he has probably been thinking about telling you that for the whole three weeks and been miserable the whole time. He will NEVER completely trust you again.

You hurt him, don't hurt him any further by being immature and saying you love him so much NOW you want him back. That puts guilt and blame on him. The damage is done, he gave you more than most would...3 weeks and in that 3 weeks it more than likely ate him up inside. It IS hard and for many it is just TOO hard. Be a woman, own up and support him in this, don't be a baby about it. Show some dignity and allow him to leave with what is left of his.

Bullshit. You don't cheat on someone you love. You don't win him back. He goes on and finds someone who won't betray his trust. - No mercy for ms. Cuckold

Well if he's smart he won't go back You don't just cheat on someone But winning him back will take a bit of time Just do what you did to get him Talk, Flirt, probably have sex with him eventually he will be your again

Build a time machine and go back and don't cheat on him this time. He tried for 3 weeks, you got to give him props for that, that's more than I would have given it.

My boyfriend cheated on me in my apartment, in my bed, while I was away visiting my family. He told me when I came home the next day. He was crying and told me it was a mistake and that he was drunk and very selfish. I want to forgive him so I can stop hurting inside, but it's hard. I loved him so much and now I realize that it was one sided. He wanted to work on things, but I keep re-hearing his voice saying he slept with someone else even though I try to block it out. He was supposed to be mine not some 20yr old girl he worked with that was in a relationship as well. Just know that the hurt doesn't go away. It's hard to bounce back and love someone again after trust is gone.

You blow your chance to by with someone you loved by cheating on him. You hurt his heart. He deserves someone better then you. If by chance he forgives you for yous mistake for being an unfaithful lover sometime in the future then remember to not screw up like you did before. However that not likely to happen since the pain of heartbreak can potentially last a life time. For the time being live and learn form your mistake and move on.

you loved him so much that you went out and screwed some one else and then sit and cry the blues about how you love him,your kind of love most men don't need. Wow!you talk about a critter i hope he never stoops low enough to take you back. now that is how i feel,but my question to you is this,who in the hell is dumb enough to come home bragging about it. if you were honest and sure then you would of kept your mouth shut and would never do it again. winning him back is going to be "tuff" if it were me you would not have a snowballs chance in hell.you got three weeks you did not deserve.

IF only you didn't cheat on him..everything should be probably be perfect. why haven't you think about that when you were tempted to cheat...now you're so troubled of the consequences of your action...hopefully he could still forgive you, because once trust is being broke...its too hard to gain it back..its like breaking a glass, quiet hard to pick up and put them back together...if it would ever be put together, there must be already a lot of broken mark on them.

nice question......how would you feel if he was naked and made love to another gal?????? yes.....that stings, huh???? not judging you....but, if you and him have a future, maybe you should stop being naked with guys other than your boyfriend?????? take care.....Brian......

you can't get him back, i hate to say it, but if he made his descision, you need to move on, like he already has. cheating is not funny,cool or smart. he has every right to break up with you for it, im just surprised he didn't right away, but thats beside the point. im sorry i have to bare the truth, but you asked, and im just trying to help. i wish you all the best, and may god be with you

if you LOVE him why did you cheat on him?

some of you people before me dont understand. yes its good she addmited the fact that she cheated, but you can't sit around feeling sorry for her. its people like that, that we need to stop and tell them, "hey look, you made a mistake, he's not coming back, dont push for him to love you again. what's done is done, so move on" now i agree if she hadn't told him then things would have been even worse, but still...what she did has no excuse.

Go back in time and do something different. Other than that, I hope he leaves you.

This isn't just for you or to you that I'm answering this. I am so angry that young people think it's okay to have sex with whoever, whenever, and so what? Sex is not a game, it's serious and is meant only for adults who know the score, not for children, so hear me now, okay? You don't know what love is if you can risk everything for a bit of tail. Was that one time worth the pain you are going through now? When you cheat, you violate the very foundation of your relationship. It is a privilege to have someone's love and commitment to you and you treated it like it was nothing compared to your need to have a little fun on the side. That boy may never trust you or any other girl again because of your decision to play instead of being responsible. Better have an STD checkup. I just read about a guy who cheated and got HIV. Did you think about that when you decided to cheat? I hope you've learned by this mistake to act responsibly next time because without trust, it simply won't last. Sorry honey, I wouldn't have to be so blunt if you children would listened to your knowledgeable parents and not start to have sex before growing into a mature and responsible, self-supporting adult. My advise is to stop playing with sex and get with a group of kids your age in the school or church who abstain from it. Work on your character, your grades, your community activities and being a good daughter and friend. When you graduate, you can look for a good partner and be faithful to one another. You deserve to be loved and happy so wait and say "no" to yourself and your friends until you grow up. Hope this helps.

What I cannot understand, for the life of me and that of my two children, how you--or anyone else--can love someone SO MUCH and still find a way to betray that person. This is all very puzzling to me. I know this is not what you want to hear, but you have severely and recklessly damaged that relationship with your man; and from this point on nothing is going to be the same..... ever again! You CANNOT fix a broken relationship the same way you fix a car or an appliance! You could patch it up, but not fix it. Even if he takes you back, your actions will always be somewhere in the back of his mind--it's only natural--and you will always be a "suspect". He might not tell you that, but this is how it works. But that is the result of your own doing.

You probably will not. Sometimes people cannot get over this, especially when it is not a marriage. With the commitment of marriage there is a better chance but still some cannot. Learn what commitment means. If you are not going to be committed, do not say you are. That is OK.

You have lost his trust. You cheated for 11 months? It would take a real effort on your part to get him to forgive you. The real question you have to face is why did you cheat in the first place and how can you fix yourself so you don't do such a thing in the future.

Honestly, that is a really hard call. You totally lost his trust. It's really hard for a person to forgive that act let alone forget it. I would say give him space, let him know how you feel and you really need to understand how bad this is making him feel. Hopefully he will get past this and be able to be with you but if he doesn't then you need to move on. Next time you're in a relationship you need to value your relationship so that you don't find yourself in this predicament.

give up and walk away. you don't deserve him.....

I can say this for a fact, if it would have been me, You have already been out the door. I do not tolerate cheating. If you want a relationship, you would not have thought about cheating. Its a horrible act upon a fiance to do such a thing. You probably wont be able to win him back. You have devastated a relationship that was a good from the get go. there is my two cents.

nice act of pretending lady,what do you want from your boyfriend ? men never beleive women for their attactive physique a reference charles dickens said loving a girl for her beauty is similar to buying a house for it's colour ! . the attitude of women is to make men their slaves forever using every negative methods(all sexual tactics,even transgendering) if i was your boy friend who betrayed me ( you would have gone flat busted and flat butted) you will never ask for sex with one or humans forever