How do people who have lost a child in death survive the grief? I don't think I would be able to go on if something like that happened to me. How does one cope?
by 
Sheriff Raff -Answerhag
ANSWERS: 14
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They take each day as it comes, greif at that moment becomes very personal and everybody does it at their own pace.
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Nature is very kind. Slowly but surely over time the pain diminishes to a tolerable level. One NEVER gets over it...it changes one significantly....but the emotional reactions do get easier and it becomes possible to cope. What helps most is a supportive family and friends....and people around who will allow you to grieve your own way, in your own time. The worst advice to give is....."don't talk about it any more"
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They never get over it. They only need people who understand they need to grieve the way they know best. A arm to cry on. And mostly they remember how would that person feel if they did'nt atleast try to go on with their life. And the reason why the make it thru their life is they know that they will see them again someday.
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You would have to have faith that they have gone home. The world is the market place and heaven is home. You have to have faith that they are where you are going to be one day. No matter how great it can be sometimes on earth it is not nearly as good as the worse day in heaven. You have to have faith that this is true, without faith there is no hope. It is our selfishness that makes us greave. With faith we can rejoice that the child is home and very happy with out pain of any kind. That is the only way I could make it.
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Southern Comfort...100 proof. AFter that they usually rant and rave to the other children how it should have been them instead.
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I have thought about your question myself many, many times, wondering what I would do myself. Brings tears to my eyes for those who have, especially where the loss is to a criminal. I'm glad I believe in God, for He's the only one who would stop me from ending up in prison myself. Your question gave me chills of anxiety.
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For my mother. it was alcohol. Others, faith in their religion. Others still, just sheer willpower.
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I think its a matter of learning to live with the grief...rather than surmounting it. I do not have children so I cannot say, however based on things from my life I would assume that it takes a lot of support from the others around you and a lot of baby steps to start to function again.
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I don't think they ever really get over it, but they have no real choice but to go on, particularly if they have other children.
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20 years ago, I lost one of my twins. Knowing the steps of grief, knowing what I was going through was all normal helped me on that path. Finding support from others who had walked in my shoes helped. Writing helped, both journaling and poetry. When I was able to, helping others through the same pain helped me, as well. It is a great pain that can never be explained in words. It is a different loss than any other.
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You won't ever get over it. Some days you will be ok and then other days will hurt like the day it happened. You will do thru the motions everyday but feel like you aren't getting anywhere. It is a pain that will never go away. You realize that after the death of a child everything that happens after that seems petty. Everyone wants to be happy as a whole but you know that will never happen for you. So the only way I get thru each day is to know that I will see my child again one day. Without faith and hope, you have nothing left.
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I am one of those that has just become a member of that club that NO one wants to be a member of. I just lost my 26yr.old son from an accident.you never get over it and time will not ease pain you just learn to live with it.Believing and faith is the only way to cope.Friends and family members are also comfort. helping other people in memory of my son helps.
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One accepts it and deals with it. You don't know what you can handle or what you can't until you are forced to face it. Until that becomes your reality, you don't have a clue what you could do or not do. It's all guess work until it happens.
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cause they dont have much choice
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