Once a week I have lunch with a male co-worker that is a very close friend (with my husbands knowledge), recently a supervisor started telling people in & out of work that we are having an affair. Should I handle it by going to HR or to her directly?
by 
Gracin the Strange
ANSWERS: 34
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I would front him (take someone with you) and see what they say ..if you don't get any satisfaction take it further , unless you heard himsay this your self or you can get the person who they said it to its going to be your word against theirs so just be warned it could end up a shit fight ....good luck
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I would confront the person head-on and if that doesn't work go over her head ( HR) -- Sounds like jealousy on her part to me + 5
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I think I would meet up with them both head on.
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Holy cow. What freakin business is it of your boss to go around telling everyone you are cheating on your spouse even if it was true.She has no right to violate your right to privacy like that. I would confront her and ask her to stop immediately. If she doesn't then I would ask all those she has told this to to either come with you as a witness or at a minimum write a statement deatailing the date if they can remember it that she told them this information. No one boss or not has a right to gossip about you even if it was true. Good luck I hope it works out.
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You know it isn't true your husband and the guy your having lunch with knows it isn't true. No one else should matter. those who allow rumors to be their news feed really are only looking for reasons to talk about others. I personally wouldn't do anything nor say anything and let it die down. I have learned in life that confortation feeds the beast. Meaning as log as they get attention they will always seek more. rather it is good or bad attention. When people find out how unreliable her is her word becomes crap and she gains no respect and loses what little she had.
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What would happen if you went to HR? Would it be worth it? This is not a good situation no matter which way you look at it. People are going to gossip at times but especially for it to be your supervisor makes it worse. It's also very unprofessional on her part. She may get satisfaction from you confronting her about it, giving her something more to gossip about. Yet I would hate to ignore it, personally. If you don't think a direct conversation would work (sometimes people say stuff and don't think about the consequences) then how about scheduling a lunch with both your co-worker and husband? Bottom line, most companies would not have their HR person/department do anything except possibly a write up of some type which could make her vindictive. Would that be worth your time? You would suggest to: -let it roll of your back, only answering questions as hinted/asked -OR sit down with her to talk about it -OR come up with some other creative option (lunch all together?)
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I would confront the supervisor, but only after being ABSOLUTELY sure that the affair rumor came from her and not just from someone SAYING it came from her. In the alternative, I would very casually invite her to join you and your friend for lunch. You know what they say about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer...
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Human Resources, first, then his wife. If indeed there is no connection, only friendship, then the gossip should cease. Sooner or later, you are going to have to confront his wife and explain. If you do not tell her, someone else will.
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I would go to HR and request a meeting w/your sup.and the head of HR and lodge a formal complaint.Supervisors must be above behavior of this type. It is immature and unprofessional to say the least!
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I would most definitely go to HR first and have your supervisors/manager and that individual present for a meeting!
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I would go directly to a lawyer and get his advice on how large a slander lawsuit to file. With luck, you could be moving into his house in a couple of months. Start talking to people and, if the lawyer says it is possible, wear a hidden digital recorder so as to get their testimony on tape.
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i wouldn't worry about it, the more you stir crap the more it stinks. your husband knows and you know whats going on, ignore the gossip. then ask her to join you two for lunch. kill her with kindness.
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i wouldn't worry about it, the more you stir crap the more it stinks. your husband knows and you know whats going on, ignore the gossip. then ask her to join you two for lunch. kill her with kindness.
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tell him to go fuck himself
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DOCUMENT with times, dates, those present etc when these comments are made THEN write a letter outlining the situation to the supervisor AND the HR dept AND the boss. Then wait for the groveling apology - but keep documenting because you will have made a dangerous enemy and gotten a name for being a 'troublemaker' Alternitively, smile mysteriously and laugh at the idiots who are living vicariously through you.
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One single haymaker squre in the jaw ha ha ha i'm only kidding. Why don't you ask her to go with you guys one day. Get your husband to meet you at the same place and all have lunch together. That should shut her up. Either that or they'll think you are the master of infedelity (dodgy spelling)Whichever way it's a worth a laugh. Don't take it seriously. as long as you and your man know there is nothing going on, who the hell cares what that stirrin b***h says. have fun and seriously, please don't hit her. :)
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That's the problem with leaving yourself open to that sort of gossip. I don't have lunch (or socialize) with female co-workers for that very reason. If you weren't having lunch with him then the accusation wouldn't have gone anywhere - you know? As far as the supervisor goes, a roundhouse kick to the temple usually solves that sort of thing. (just kidding)
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I would ignore these false stories. When I worked at a big corporation everyone for a time thought me and my running buddy who was female were gay lovers. Then a few years later when I would do a Tony Little workout tape with my male divorced boss, everyone said we were having an affair. Don't get yourself riled up over malicious slander, just let it go, you know the real deal and that is all that matters.
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I would confront the supervisor first, then report that person to HR.
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First of all, just be careful of perception - perception is reality in other people's minds. With that said, I'd report it to HR. If it's offensive to you, it could be a form of harrassment.
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First go to her directly, and if that does not work then maybe HR.
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I'm not sure. I'll look for someones answer who's in the HR buisness as far as legalities go. I would at least confront the supervisor. I do tend to believe in someones response which mentioned perception. I always tried to get a group going but I always ended going out with 1 lady. Then the snowball started.
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i would let this supervisor say what every she wants to say. you, your co worker, and your husband knows what going on. it sounds like she might be jealous of you. pray for her, that she can find happiness in her life.
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file a complaint with HR
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if you go to her things might get out of hand , not only with her,but other people like her friends and they might start talking that what there saying is true, so if you go to HR ,she will know you will not tolerate those kinds of rumers going around.and that is not very supervisor like.
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Wow! This person has alot of nerve and obviously has other issues if they are so worried about your friendships. Since this person is a supervisor and the careers for both you and your friend could be at risk (as well as personal relationships), I suggest that both you and your friend go to your HR department and file a complaint. This is no way for a supervisor to be acting.
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I would so bust her with HR. You do need to check around for what damage may have been done.
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AHHHH, just did a test on this at work....take it to HR! it is sexual harrasment.
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depends. was this person a friend who took a joke too far or a jerk who is intentionaly causing you harm?
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The supervisor is a jackass, rip his tongue out.
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I say you AND the guy should confront her and put her in an extremely awkward position. Then as your talking to her about the whole thing keep telling her that you're going to take it to HR and watch her shit her pants. THEN go to HR and get her ass fired. If you go straight to HR she'll never see you again, and probably continue to spread rumors and lies, especially if you get her fired. EVEN BETTER! Bring HIS S/O AND YOURS! Then it's 4 on one and let her realize, these are 4 completely seperate lives she's trying to ruin. Maybe she'll get the picture then.
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First you tell your husband. Protect your integrity especially with him. Next, confront your boss and tell her that you will be reporting this problem to her superiors immediately. Remember that it never looks good to people on the outside looking in. You may have to remain friends with him outside of work so as to protect you as well as him and your families. Dont take chances with your reputation. It will stick to you for a long time to come. You cant expect people to view the situation like you and your friend do, they dont and they wont.
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You might want to let your husband know about the rumor, lest he hear it from someone else. Even if he trusts you, there's a chance for a bad seed to be planted.
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All three of you need to confront her, ask her what she's doing and why, and inform her that you're going to HR to file a complaint.
- M.C.S. - Dave RELATED QUESTIONS
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