I have a receptionist that insist that it is proper when asking who is calling to say "who am I speaking to". I feel like the proper way is "may I ask who is calling". Can some one one recommend an etiquette resource i.e. book, web
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Anonymous
ANSWERS: 18
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may i ask who is calling sounds better to me...who am i speaking to could be taken as rude if you catch someone in the wrong mood! I dont have a source for my opinion...just commentary..i think you are right!
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I agree with you. The proper term is "May I ask who is calling?"
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To whom am I speaking please? Sometimes, "May I ask to whom am I speaking?"
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When I call somewhere and they ask "May I ask who is calling?" I answer "yes". I think the correct question is "Who is calling, please"?
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Emily Post is the old school etiquette resource. They do have an online site with some information, but they really want you to buy the books. There is a business etiquette book listed - check it out from the library. My last link is a list of resources for etiquette - many of them are geared toward answering the proper course of etiquette on the net, in emails, IM, etc. It looks to be an good list and it was compiled by an academic institution which usually suggests a librarians stamp of quality. http://www.emilypost.com/index.htm http://www.middlebury.edu/administration/cso/achieve/Etiquette/etiquettebiblio.htm
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"who am I speaking to" is impolite and cold (and it sounds nosy). The caller will feel your receptionist is judging whether he or she is important enough to be transferred to you. It's a real turn-off in my opinion. Have her say "Who may I say is calling?" Your preferred way is fine too.
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How about "who dis?"
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Well, dont know if it helps, but i was a Receptionist for 11 years until just over one year ago, in my local hospitals outpatient department. I dealt with hundreds of calls from patients, GP's, etc every day, and i always said either 'Can i ask who is calling' or 'may i ask who is calling'. The phrase 'who am i speaking to' can sometimes sound a bit curt or impolite in my opinion. You say 'you' have a receptionist, so i am assuming you are the persons superior, in which case if you tell her you are not happy with her terminology, then she should follow protocol and use the correct terms, unless of course she thinks she knows best !!!
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Grammatically speaking, "may I ask who is calling" is better (you should never end a sentence with to). However, you always run into the wise cracker who says yes, and then doesn't give you their name. To whom am I speaking please? as Firebrand suggested would be grammatically correct and still pleasant.
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Yeh, im a receptionist and I have always wondered about that aswell... What i hate more than anything though is when you answer the phone, they ask for hte person, and the person they ask for says, ask who it is... and im like... o.o, that is RUDE...
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I think a very stern......"Who the HELL is this!" would do.
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I am not an expert on etiquette , for sure, But I say " may I ask who is calling" or "may I ask your name"
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I've been a receptionist/person who answers phones for quite a bit in my career- I find "Who am I speaking to" impolite- it feels as if the asker is superior. My store manager says that when I answer the phone and it always feels very condescending. I much prefer "May I ask who is calling" or "Who may I say is calling". It just seems more polite.
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I like it best when people say: "May I tell her/him who is calling?"
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"Who I am talking to?", sounds rude. "May I ask who is calling?" is polite.
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I worked in an answering service for a while, and we were taught one thing: NEVER ask questions that can give yes or no for replies, unless you want a yes or no answer. To ask 'may I ask who is calling?' invites a simple 'yes' answer. Then you have to take the time to ask who it is. We were instructed to ask, "Who am I speaking with?". Tone is everything. That line can be the height of rudeness or excruciatingly polite.
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hi! actually, it's "to whom am i speaking?" sounds like your receptionist needs to complete 10th grade english lit!!
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If she is your receptionist then she answers the phone how you want her to answer it. Otherwise look for a new receptionist.
El Soupy 
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