Do you think it is different for parents to lose their 2 weeks-old child or 20 years-old one?
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ANSWERS: 39
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Of course there will be a stronger attatchment to a child you've reared, raised, and seen grow to adulthood, as opposed to one you've hardly gotten home, but I'm sure the feeling of loss, especially for the mother, will be about the same.
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Mircat You've obviously never lost a child.
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It is difficult to lose a child no matter what the age. But I feel it is hard to lose a 20 year old who you have bonded with over the year where as the 2 week old you are still bonding with.
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Mircat
Have you ever had a child?
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I think it would be very difficult at either age. Just in different ways. With the two week old, it is true that you haven't 'bonded' for as long a peroid of time, but there is the overwhelming saddness that the child had bearly began to live, and there was so mauch s/he didn't do. (And try to tell a mother she doesn't know the baby that has been growing inside her for 40 weeks!) With a twenty year old, you have many more memories both good and bad. You have the last twenty years to emember them by, but at the same time, they were just getting to the age where they truely discover life, independance, love. In many cases they will not have wed by this point so you still won't get that. (I personall can not wait to see my children marry, should they choose to.)
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To a good parent, a loss of a child regardless of age is a devastating loss. If a person can put a time restriction on the love for a child, then that's not a good person or parent at all.
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The 20 year old. The 2 week old they don't even know anything about and wouldn't be as bad. The 20 year old is more of a loss.
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Personally, I think the loss of a child at ANY age is hard enough. There are different thoughts and sadnesses about their deaths but they're both equally as valid and devastating. No one should have to feel the pain of losing a child, no matter HOW old it is.
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I watched my grandmother bury my dad, and it wasn't easy. I think that 20 years of love lost is more tragic than 2 weeks (or 45 weeks considering the anticipation of birth) of love lost. In no way am I implying that the young life is less important than the older one, however.
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NO i don't think there is a difference
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it would be hard to lose a child no matter what age.. you hav e more memories of the 20 year old child which will pop into your mind all the time, so you will feel the lose more so than a small baby.. Most parents who lose a child end up devastated.. relationships are stressed out and some times lost if both parents cant get over it... Some times one parent feels a guilt for it.. and blames themselves even though they had nothing to do with it.. My Heart goes out to any one who has lost a child.. God Bless you
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i think you would have the same feeling of loss and hurt the only difference is that the older child you would have more memories to remember and share. with a younger child you tend to keep the little memories to your self and protect them.
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i think it is hard for someone to lose a child of 20 because of the bond they had BUT.. i also think it is hard to lose a child at 2 weeks old because of the bond they should have had. NO i don't think it is different at all, it's just as painful.
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Different, yes. Harder with one or the other, no. Losing a child, no matter what the age, is a difficult thing.
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Oh my!! I dont even wanna know,, but I think both should hurt,,, I would go crazy,,,,,, and loose it...
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my uncle lost his 25 y o child... he suffered a heart attack and died for 4 mins. so yes. the pain is extremly severe. having said that, i know someone that miscarried and had to wait for the womb to push the baby out, she was in a bed for 2 weeks after and she suffered severe depression i'd say it's about the same.
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Losing a child is horrible, no matter how long they have been with you. From what I have seen, it may take less time for someone to get over losing an infant, but I wouldn't say the experience is any easier. I think it has more to do with the parties involved, how they handle the grief, what was the reason for the death, etc. I don't think anyone can fairly gauge another persons grief when it comes to losing a child.
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Until I had children of my own I would have said the 20yo easily as you would not even know the 2 week old yet. But now I have kids I can honestly not answer this question. Yes it is true that at 2 weeks you do not know the child, but that does not effect the love you have for that child and loosing him/her would hurt just as much as loosing the 20yo child. I hope both my kids outlive me.
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The 20 year old is more of a loss. You've invested 20 years with this person, and seen them grow up to be an adult. The 2 week old child, although very difficult, barely grew into a person, and really had not much personality to speak of. Infant mortality is also a lot higher than 20 year old mortality. I'm sorry if you've lost someone, I'd be sorry whichever it was. But I know it would be a lot more devastating losing a 20 year old.
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I believe they would be very heartbreaking, both. But losing a child of 20 yrs would be tougher in a way.
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What happens to you hurts, you cannot measure the pain. If it is you losing a 2 week old, it hurts as bad as you losing a 20 year old. It is an in the moment experience.
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im going to say yes. the younger the person the worse it seems to every one else. to the mother both is terrible and a baby i think the mother will blame herself - she harmed the baby. but at 20 she has raised a child and seen bonded for nearly 20 years more both would be horrific but i think a baby will look/seem worse!
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No I don't think there is a difference because neither can be replaced. It's sad that some people feel that way. I had a baby at 22 weeks in 05 and she didnt make it. I just had a son at 24 weeks and he's doing fine now. one day i was talking to one of my friends about how i didnt know what i'll do if i lost him and her response was " I know because you know him" as if i didnt have and attachement to my other baby. I havent spoken to her since because it just pissed me off the think that she feel that i shouldnt have mourned the loss of my child. no matter the age of the child again they cant be replaced.
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My son died f when he was 47 yr. old. Would it have been easier to lose him @ 2 wks. old? For me, I think so. I had all those years to get to know him and love him. I think it would have been easier for me to put the grieving aside for the infant simply because I wouldn't have the memories of how he would grow up; how he would look or talk or laugh or hug me. I had years of getting to know my son and he will always be missed in so many ways. This is such an individual thing; how can I possibly say how another parent would feell? I cannot compare my loss with anyone elses. But, I can share their pain.
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i think either age hard . when its a baby you feel it inside you kicking,hiccups,the bond very strong then you hold it and so tiny . and adult same but you longer you got to spend together doesnt mean ya miss them any less .
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I dont think there will ever be a simple answer for this question. To lose an infant is unfair that they will never get to grow up, and all your dreams for them have been shattered. To lose an adult child you say its unfair that they never got to finish and that no parent should outlive their child. Either way you're still losing a child that for the mom you have loved deeply and unconditionally since conception, and for the dad from the moment you first felt them move or fist saw them after birth. No matter how old, it still hurts. The younger they are, the longer you mourn them and you never get over losing a child.
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Each death of someone no matter what age is devastating, each one different in it's own way. YOU can't say because one life is short or long or make or female that it will be worse or easier.
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Yes
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no a child is always a child no matter what age...
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I doubt there is any significant difference. Both are devastating
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I'm sure there's a difference somewhere, but I don't imagine that the pain is measurable, nor do I think parents losing their children give a crap to try and make the comparison.
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Personally, I feel the 20-year old would be harder on the parent. You know the 20 year old. You have lots of memories, lots of things to remind you of them and bring up the pain.
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20 yr old would probably be harder because you would constantly relive all of the memories of that child growing up. Losing a child after 2 weeks would also be awful so who knows??
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there is no difference. it does not matter how long the child was alive you love the child all the same.
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having just my son atage 26 iam living a nightmare.ihave a huge hole in my heart that will not go away.but i do have my memories.maybe the loss of a 2 month old, the parent might feel they were deprived also of more memories. i dont know how they feel but iknow how i feel.the pain is the most unbearable pain that you can ever imagine.the helplessness that you feel is indescribable.iwould reach out to anyone that has lost a child.
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Yes and 2 different types of excrutiating pain.......
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Sure, because if the child is older, they've had more time to bond with him or her and get to know the child's personality. With the death of the baby, you would probably grieve for all the dreams you didn't get to fulfill with the child, such as sending it to school and seeing it grow into young adulthood.
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yes there are different.to live together increase love.if i have an animal in home than love increase with that too.long days long love
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There is no difference. Your child is your child 2 weeks or 20 years.
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i think its equally hard no matter how old they are
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Lose both is sad. Their life can`t be replaced.
pearllederman 
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