you make me laugh. "Get greedy," huh? Funny. Anyhow, my gf and I have been doing anal more lately - partly, if I am to be honest, because it works as birth control. Neither of us likes condoms and we are both sensitive to some of the health implications of the Pill and (less so) the diaphragm. However, my gf enjoys anal sex mostly if we are having a very animalistic sex. I will penetrate her but I am usually pounding her very hard when I do. Neither of us enjoys it as much when we are being more romantic. So I sense that, for you, it is as much about context? From another answer you gave me, it sounds like you feel more when you have anal sex. With which are you more likely to orgasm. If it is not too personal, does it matter if it is with your husband or some other guy? Great to hear from you, as always.

Hi! I taught my husband to do anal and dp both of which he was happy to learn and do because he knew I liked them. But I think because they were not already a part of him and what he was comfortable with eventually he left off doing them. Or I would have the sense he would put off anal as much as possible until he felt guilty and then would make himself do it. Consequently what was more common for us for a couple of years became sporadic and then stopped altogether. I no longer expect either from him at all so when I get it is with others. Once again I don't have that kind "animalistic-romantic" dichotomy. For me there regular sex where I am shaping myself to them and their rhythms as much as possible and them to mine, and there is more chemistry sex which is more blindly instinctual between me and certain people and we are just doing it regardless. Both are great and I orgasm from both but in the first I am more shaping myself and pushing myself at least until I get to a higher level of arousal after a couple of Os while in the second I am just moving and making the motions and my orgasms come from that rather than me doing anything to get myself there. I have had anal that is I guess more what you would think of as "romantic" but mostly for me to orgasm they need to go pretty hard - which is the opposite of how I prefer vaginal. Friday nights when we pair off we start with vaginal until I have a couple of Os and then I get on top squatting where I am doing most of the moving and I have like three or four I think and then he does vaginal from behind with me on my knees and ends with hard anal or sometimes just the anal so most of the time I orgasm and then sometimes again when he finishes because that is very intense and after that I can feel I am "done" and we are holding each other and resting. Built up to like that anal can be very intense and I feel had I started it when I was young it could have been more so for me. I am just happy I learned how eventually because it is another way I can give myself that is pleasurable for me as well as him. But took some doing for me because I would come close but not get there. Then finally I became relaxed enough they could go harder with me and that did it. Oh please don't misunderstand - vaginal I guess you would call it "pounding" I can enjoy like in a group of men when I have been going for a while and coming and am at a higher level of arousal. Otherwise I prefer slow and steady and I am slowing them down.

Anal as "birth control" we never did and when I was younger those men who later would have done anal for that reason either pulled out before or refrained altogether from orgasm. Which when I tell people about that they don't believe me but once that was pretty common among gentlemen.

Thanks for your honest answer. It is fascinating to me the different things that drive us sexually. You and your husband do things that my gf and I do, but for different reasons. "Pounding" my gf is something I do when we feel like two animals breeding in a field. For you it is distinctly less intense at a personal level. I've done it with my gf both just the two of us and in a threesome. For you, it sounds like that at a personal level it is a non-starter. Same things, different reasons. Vive 'difference I guess. Oh, as to birth control, we are so erratic in our birth control methods that it is a wonder that we have not had 7 unexpected children instead of two. I actually do enjoy anal, and as birth control at least it is fun. By the way, for what it is worth, pulling out was my preferred method in my teen aged days. The girls still insisted on condoms. It is why I often found myself taking cold showers. I wonder if asking for anal sex would have worked better...Naaaaahhhhhh.

Comparing myself to an "animal" is not something that arouses me at all which I guess is why I never even thought of going with that. But if men want to then why not? That "hard pounding" kind of lovemaking is not anything I remember from my youth so I would guess a lot of men just got it from porn and think that is what they are supposed to do. And is a revelation for them sometimes when I slow them way down to where I can get hot too. I mean now vaginal. Anal I need them to start really slowly so I can relax and get comfortable but then once I relax to build it up to going hard and very steady. Just because I need that for myself. Had I sensitized myself younger to that I think I would not need them to go hard.

Typically, the mistake young guys make is to go fast. It isn't porn that taught them that - it is biology. Its why first time sex tends to be disappointing for women. The young guys they are with still only understand how sex feels to them and don't yet understand how a woman orgasms. When a guy masturbates, the faster the rubbing the more intense the orgasm. (Actually not, but because the orgasm is intense, they assume that speed equals orgasm and ejaculation.) They assume because it works for them, that's how girls react, too. When I am pounding my gf really hard, it is because I am feeling very animalistic and I find my gf receptive to it. Really, it all depends on the mood. When my gf is feeling romantic, hard pounding her definitely does not work. However, when we are feeling a bit more wild, she likes it.