ANSWERS: 100
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nothing..because hes already here
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invite her in for coffee .... its snowing outside
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Tell him I do not want cookies and I gave to charity at the office.
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Give him/her/whatever a poke and then slam the door in their face
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Sic him/her on a few of the fanatics around here. Ughhhhhhh.
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God is everywhere, and nowhere.
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Kick him in the crotch and tell him to go to Hell. Hey, you asked.
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Offer Him cakes and ale the same as I do everytime He comes to ritual.
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like when the jahova's show up, hide under the coffee table and scream no one is home go away!
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Invite him/her in and apologize for the mess... Pretty much the routine with any guests.
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I'd let him know how many points I'd lost on Answerbag for responding to questions about him.
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Invite hm in in to chat and ask him WTF he has been doing playing with my life, and stealing my family.
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I don't think I would see him, I would probably think that a kid rang the door bell and ran away or something.
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Say, "It's about damn time" and be happy.
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Fall to my knees and beg for forgivness.
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I would invite Him in, and ask Him for forgiveness for all my Sins, and cleanse me as white as snow. I would wash His feet with my Hair, and oils(if I had any). I would treat Him like royalty. I try treating everyone with respect.
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I would ask ... this life is a test ... is it not? you are everywhere with your sign to test us all are you not? Please come in ... I will throw the kettle on what can I do?
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ring the devil and organise a wrestling match. then which ever one wins kick them in the crotch and tell them to stop fuc**** up my life. then politely ask them to tell me the meaning of life then put up a sign saying doors that way.
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Hide the golden calf.
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0. I'd be quite scared.... but after a few minutes of not believing my own eyes I would: 1. Put him in my best chair 2. Cook something nice for God 3. Apologize for the many things we do in God's name 4. Thank him for what he has given us (sex, mother nature, love, food and consciousness and senses to enjoy it all) 5. Ask for advice on how to make a good contribution with my life (I believe God is already in my house and outside my house, but it's a funny thought - him as a person)
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Drop down, and praise for his holy forgiveness. Tell him to come in this humble home, and that my soul is open to him.
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Well, I usually don't answer the door for strangers.... If I knew it was him/her, I'd invite them in and introduce them to my kitty :)
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Beg forgiveness for not having believed in him. Somehow I dont think I need to worry too much...
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I would invite Him in.
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I believe everyone is created in His image; even the ones who want to curse Him or blame Him for there lot in life. So, that means everyone who comes to my door is the image of Christ. God will judge me for how I treat anyone and everyone. I do try to see people that way, although sometimes. it's a little harder to see Him in some. "Whatsoever we do to the least of our brothers, that we do unto Him."
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Put my shoes on,grab my son,write a note that says,"Walking with God,don't know when or if I will be back." Then I would turn and say,"Okay,I am ready,lead the way!"
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Slam it and call my doctor.
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I would be hospitable I presume - but I would mention that the neighbors claim to be more interested.
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i would let them in and offer to stay until whenever they wanted to leave
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I would ask to see some ID.
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I'd say "We don't want any!".
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I'd invite him in, offer him some tea or a glass of wine, conk him on the head, lock him in the cellar, and assume his identity! HA! Who's your God now, bitch? Just joking... (looking humble and scared)
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put the beer down :)
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Grab the shotgun.
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I'll give him a cup of tea and then ask him how he is gonna stop the madness!!
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I would say 'well there's a turn up for the books'
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Say "Hey, God,tomorrow is poker night." But we are having meatloaf and you are welcomed to stay as always." God really loves my wife's cooking.
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Probably drop to my knees and pray.....
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"YOU CAN KEEP MY THINGS, HE'S COME TO TAKE ME HOME !"
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If I leave with you now can I be a ... ... Guardian Angel ...
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Ask him why he let Meredith Grey back to her winey friends.
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probably ask forgiveness and belive that he did at that moment..
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i'lld kick his ass
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Hmmm well my God isn't God as in "Our holy father and blah blah blah...." My God would be a giant bar of chocolate covered nugar with huge smile on his dile when I'm depressed...
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I'd say "...I thought You were supposed to be incorporeal!"
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I'd ask her how she likes her Gardenburger and what type of beer she prefers.
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APPOLOGIZE !
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ask him to come sit down,
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God does not make house calls. He has His servants do that for him :)
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ask for ID. since GOD would not have to use my front door ;?
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Of all the times you could have showed up you would have to do it while im just about to lose my virginity! you t**t! - Sooo what do you want - God would speak and like they say my head would blow up!!
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ask him for eternal salvation and if he said i need to earn it then i would ask what is the true religion?
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Ask God to prove he is God. Unfortunately, that proof would rely on our preconceived notions of what or who God is.....proving nothing.
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I probably would be frightened, and would be scared to look up at Him. God is Holy, and I'm not. All of my sins would be completely out in the bare open, not that they aren't now. God sees everything we do, and hears everything we say. I would immediately drop to my knees and say God please forgive me for everything I've done against you, and I would just cry...
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Well, let him in, ask if like a cuppa or something to drink (I am assuming a human form type because otherwise I wouldn't let him in), tell to sit where he feel comfortable, offer him a snack, chat about the weather and can he please make it rain (we are in severe drought) and such, ask after Jesus and commiserate over Lucifer the usual stuff when a friend come to visit.
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I'd probelly give her/him an earfull about the things that have happened to me and then demand a replay. I know it sounds blasphamis, but honestly how much more misery is s/he going to toss my way? S/he let my great grand parents suffer through old age even after they prayed for her/him to take them home. Let me be bullied so bad that I wanted to die almost my whole childhood. And then took the only man who loved me as much as I loved him after only three years. And in a horrific manner. Really, what's up with that? We we're all devoted to the faith and s/he ignores us. It's why I switched religions.
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Faint, and then probably be saved by a miracle from hitting the ground
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Let him in, of course.
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Invite him in...
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Tell him I wasn't ready to go yet.
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I'd probably have him in for tea and cookies. OH and I'd watch Dogma with him.
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I'd ask him to stand to the side because the Pappa Johns delivery guy just showed up.
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Repent
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Go to rehab.
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I would say :What am I doing here?
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Porter Wagner sang a song like that -- "What Would You Do if Jesus came and spent some time with you -- I'd have to really say can you forgive me ?
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I'd ask him/her to come in and have a few drinks. We'd talk about music and the arts... and when we're both drunk, I'll try to finagle getting a few prayers answered...
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Give Him a great big Hug!!!
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surely he would already know so er nothing just stand there and check out his angels
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crap my pants
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advise him to go and help those who believe in him.
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Open the door and ask him/her if they would like a cup of tea.
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Invite him in. Treat him as an honored guest and ask him why so many people are clueless about religions.
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Let him in, why??
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i would be a bit skeptic and ask him random questions that first came to mind which would only make me look stupid. ex- so if your "God", whats your sons name? where do i live? who stole the cookie from the cookie jar that ive been singing about since preschool?? then id realize my own stupidity n fall to my knees to ask for forgivness.
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I could only imagine... "Surrounded by your glory, What will my heart fear, Will I dance for you Jesus, Or in awe of You be still. Will I stand in Your presence, To my knees will I fall, Will I sing hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all?"
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Wake up and realize it was all a silly dream.
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"Well it's about time! Now, did Tiggers (my old pet hampster) really run away to the circus, or did my parent's forget to feed him?"
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Well that would never happen cause I dont know why maybe he is too lazy and if he did I would talk to him do and ask why he gave me a pretty crappy life
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Offer him a cup o´tea, thank him for everything, tell him I´m sorry about all my cock-up´s, and ask him to look after my loved ones.
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Pretend i was out.
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I'd ask Him what the devil he was up to.
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I agree with the "He's already here" comment. But, if he were to physically knock on my door and I answered it, after I fainted, and woke back up, I'd invite him in, give him huge hugs and be ever so excited that he came to my house.
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I would say "hey you do exist. You can come in if you want to. sorry I haven't dusted in a while." Then turn and leave the door open.
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serve him deviled eggs and see that he'd do!!!lol ask and if he didnt accept offer him some angel food cake!
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Ask for ID.
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He will be doing that one day figuratively speaking and there is only one thing I will be doing is going back with Him
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Oh Mylanta! Please sit, sit! Now, tell me, which came first, the chicken or the egg? J/K I would ask him if I was a good person in His eyes, and hope he said Yeppers!
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My house is full, you better look elsewhere
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Sign my Bible?
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fancy a f**k
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Knowing myself, I would probably say, "holy s**t its Jesus" then get sent straight to hell right there. Really, I would be absolutely star-struck, I would't be able to say anything. He'd have to start the conversation.
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Jesus Christ!
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now, i fully support the free expression of masochism, but don't you think that was just a little bit over-the-top?
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I would say 'Dude, the kids are sleeping, so please keep it down, but feel free to have some sacred wine with with Husband and me and just chill'.
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I would ask why he was there because I'm not ready to go yet.
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nothing. i'd be too shocked to speak.
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what-up my hommey
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Dude, this isn't your house, couldn't you at least knock?
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Sorry about the mess...
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