Im a single mom iam 19 years old and i got drunk at this party a couple of weeks ago it was my first time getting that wasted!!But i have this friend who keeps on telling me that im a bad mom i was just haveing fun? So does that really make me a bad mom?
by 
viviana
ANSWERS: 89
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Well that depends...where was your child while you where at this party? Also when you left the party and went home was your child still being cared for by a sober person? I think what would make you a bad mom is if you took the kid with you too the party or if you went and pick your child up from the babysitters while intoxicated. I wouldnt recommend making it a habit to go out and get drunk leaving your kid with a babysitter...but once and a while its ok to have fun as long as your child is being properly cared for.
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Why does this friend keep calling you a bad mom, do you go out and party often? You would be a bad parent if you are more interested in partying than raising your child.
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I think she loves you that she reminds you not to do the same thing. There are millions way to have fun. Alcohol is not good thing, especially you are a mother. Not good as role model for your kid.
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No not at all, as long as someone responsible and trustworthy looks after your child while your having a drink and you dont get wasted so often that it effects your mood or health.
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Depends on where your kid was while you were shit-faced. When your child is older, if you continue to get drunk (not just drink, but get drunk) I think you would be a bad mum. children learn from their parents, and the older they get the more they see.
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Being a mom at 19 and getting "wasted " when the legal drinking age is 21? Think about this.What will you tell your child when they are teens?
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you got drunk one time at a party. your young. who dosen't do that once in a while? you are not a bad mom. just for being concerned about it tells me that. Is your friend a mom?
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right now you are young and it is okay to let that happen once in a while but you should make sure your family is being cared for as well we are all human and humans are allowed to make mistakes. Even though that wasn't really a mistake but overall it is ok. As for your friend if she doesn't have kids then its not for her to say. But maybe you don't want to tell your kid right now what happens maybe when they get older im sure they would want to be interested in your life i know i am with my mom. sorry for the long answer...bi!
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I am a single mother. (I'm 32 tho) Going out and getting wasted, letting loose, etc. Does not make you a bad mom. Doing it every day or every other day and neglecting your responsibilities as a mother makes you a bad mom. Where was your child? Drinking underage can lead to serious consequences tho and you do have to think about your child. What if you got arrested? How old is your child? Just remember a child learns how to act by example. Going out and having fun is just that. Make sure what you do is legal and a responsible person is caring for your child. Us single moms have to have fun to!!
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if your child was at this party yes you are horrible for having your child there and irresponsible too, but as long as your child wasn't there someone was watching your child all night you aren't wrong. Now if you do this all the time you do need to grow up and think more responsibly toward your child, it isn't the childs fault you can't have a good time, you should not have gotten pregnant, now if someone was just watching your child till you got home drunk, someone should have stayed the night in case of an emergency with the child. That is also irresponsible
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You have every right to have fun.....just do it when you have a babysitter and don't put yourself in danger...by driving after drinking or what not.
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Don't overlook the fact that you're 19 and the legal drinking age is 21. Way to be a role model for your child by breaking the law.
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That doesn't make you a bad mom.As long as your child was in safe hands with someone you trust and your child did not see you like that,then it's ok!Just because you have a child,doesn't mean that you can't have a life.As long as your child is taken care of ,then have fun....
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No, that doesnt make you a bad mom as long as it was a once in a while type thing, and you have a babysitter.
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once in awhile thing
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No baby - it makes you a REAL mom. Most single moms I know, myself included, need at least one or two nights a month, minimally, to relax and do something like that. You're not a bad mom. Just make sure you're not being irresponsible...don't drink and drive, make sure you have a sitter if you're taking some "mommy time" - and tell your friend that while you appreciate her concern, you're (hopefully) not being irresponsible with your enjoyment.
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It's certainly not in your child's interest to get that drunk.
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depends on where your child was at the time of you getting drunk.
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You probably shouldn't be getting drunk at all period. It doesn't really matter if you're having fun, getting to the point where you do things that you will regret the next day is too far.
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No, you're not a bad mother. I'm 20, and have a 16month old daughter. I don't think it's wrong if I want to go to the occasional party... (though, I much prefer having a drink at home with my husband) Especially if your kid is under a year old, meaning you -JUST- became a mother... no one expects you to immediately let go over everything that someone your age does. You don't have to grow up that fast. You have to mature like hell, yeah... but you don't have to be a total grown up. If it bothers you enough that you're questioning yourself and your parenting skills, then don't do it again... otherwise, talk to your friend and explain to her that you have every right to go and have fun ... (so long as your child is in good hands the entire time.)
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Let's just say that it is one of the characteristics of VERY bad moms. I don't know you, so I can't tell you.
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Your entitled to a personal life, but how you choose to live that life can lead to other things that may affect your responsibilities as a parent. Nothing wrong with wilin' out every now and then, including getting wasted at a party. I am sure your child was in good care...right? Just dont put yourself (your health and welfare) at risk. Your child needs you.
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You are not a bad Mum, you are what is known as "normal". Being a parent has responsibilities, but it doesn't mean that your life as a woman, not just a mother, should cease to exist. Everyone needs to have fun once in a while, and it will make you less uptight and miserable to blow off some steam and therefore probably make you a nicer mum in the long run. You had a babysitter, the child wasn't just abandoned, so everything was fine.
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Did you beat your child in a drunken rage? Did you leave her alone all night while you were out? Did you ignore her the next day cause you were hung over? Did you bring someone home with you and let your daughter know what was going on? If you have answered no to all of these questions, then relax...you're human and normal and in no way a bad Mom..tell your friend to fuck off and walk a mile in your shoes and see hoe she feels..good luck hun
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It's not a good idea to get hammered when you have a kid at home with a babysitter who will eventually go home and leave you with your responsibilies,which you will be unable to handle in the event of an emergency.
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no ur not a bad mum ur just like every other man and woman who needs to let off steam once in a while dont beat ur self up about and does ur friend have any kids? if not then how the hell could she even begin to understand the changes a person makes when they have a kid. ur still a young woman and as long as u keep an happy medium of being a mum and having fun then u'll have nothing to worry about tell ur friend from me to shut her pie hole
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Isnt that illegal? The drinking age is 21... (unless you are from Europe or something). How is getting drunk fun? You already have a kid, you have to have a different kind of fun now -- changing diapers and setting an example.
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not at all.. that doesnt mean u r a bad mom.. u r young and have right to have fun.. but u should find someone who will look after ur child when u r having fun..
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First of all, you are under the legal drinking age; But regardless, as long as your child was properly taken care of then you are not a bad mom. Now if your child was with you and you were too drunk to care for him/her, then there is a problem. It is hard being a single mom and as long as you are responsible enough to make sure that your child is well taken care of then I don't believe that you are a bad mom. Don't be so hard on yourself.
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You only have one time to make a first impression. Whats the age limit for alcohol, where you live? I agree with your friend. If you gotta drink, do it at home and save your reputation and your child.
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No..as long as you don't make a habbit of it. You are still young..not even old enough to drink..(I did it) so it is easy when you are young to make a habit of it because you are still young. Just remember that you are a mommy and that it can't really be a life style anymore. With that said a mommy needs mommy time..fun time once in a while. Just keep a level head and be responsible about it. Make sure that your little one is fully taken care of when you do go out as well!!
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Did you make plans with a safe babysitter ,make sure they had all emergency numbers ,child's medications if needed ,enough food for them before going to this party ,,was sure the baby would be looked after all night and maybe some of the next day if you had a few drinks ? If you wasn't buying the drinks with your rent,grocery money for the week to come? Is so ,,no you're not a bad mom ,, Maybe just wanted to get out and have some "grown up time ,," with your friends and gotta a little carried away ,,with a few too many drinks ,,, Though I could see if you did this every night , neglected the kid ,,,,some people may start to wonder.. Most new mothers ,,will probably agree ,,you need some time away from the day to day looking after the kids 24/7 My wife says she needs some mommy time ,,once in awhile and her and I go out or even her and her friends ,, Though she don't drink much ,,
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If you made proper arrangements for your child, no getting drunk one time does not make you a bad mom. What would be a bad mom is making a habit of getting drunk and abusing, ignoring, or neglecting the child. This can easily happen if you're drunk or hung over. It's not fair to the child or even yourself. Using money to have fun that should be used for the needs of the child would be being a bad mom. Every mom needs a bit of "me" time now and then. Just make sure the child is properly cared for and you have quality time with her. Another thing to look at is the age requirement for drinking in your state. It's 21 here.
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No that doesn't make you a bad mom. As long as your child was with someone responsible at the time. Just don't do those kind of things while you have your child with you or have to get your child that same night/day. Otherwise I would advise you to be sure to always have a DD and not to drive drunk and be careful not to get pregnant again, you already have one to take care of without a dad.
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No your not, even though your a mum your life doesn't just stop. Your still 19 and still young enough to make mistakes.
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Was someone who is trust worthy watching your kid or where you drunk around your kid? I don't think your kid should ever see you drunk and as long as someone is taking care of her while your having a liitle fun I suppose its ok but your child's safety comes first.
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no mama having fun does not make you a bad mother IF the child was in safe hands. I am a 22 year old mother i am not single but i do majority of the work myself and i go out once in awhile and have fun too, i drink(but dont get DRUNK) and i always make sure im sober enough to know what 2 do if something was to occur when i got home(say an emergency happened and ur too shitfaced to know how to help your child, that would be bad parenting) if you never got out and had "you time" you would go crazy! but this is my opinion you should trust ur instinct, if you feel it is wrong then you should not be doing it, i only gave my opinion because u asked but i believe no1 kan make that decision for you
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Would you want your kid to do that?I dont think i would.If i had a kid when i was 19 me personally i would have lost custody. I used to throw partys in front of my babys and i feel like shit for it-and im 25. just think about it. having a good time should be more responsible good time.
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It makes you young, and human. AND a good mom to even be concerned about it. Just don't do it in front of your kid or drive. But I'm sure you know that already. 4+
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as long as this isn't something you do all the time, and you don't spend every weekend away from your child, and you left your child with a good babysitter, like grandparents or somebody you really know you can trust, then no, having a night out does not make you a bad mom. if you go out every weekend instead of spending time with your child, you need to rethink your priorities. your child will only be a child for a little while.
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You are young and I think you should be commended for choosing life for your child instead of abortion. It is not easy to be a single mom these days. You have taken on a lot of responsibility. As long as your child was being cared for, then I do not think getting drunk every once in awhile makes you a bad mom. Having said that, drinking alcohol sets a poor example for your child. As s/he gets older, s/he will quickly catch on to what you do at parties. It is ok to have a couple of drinks but I think you should avoid getting wasted. The more you do the more chance your child may end up seeing you drunk. I do not believe that is good for you or your child. Best wishes to you.
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I think you made many poor decisions. Being a single mom, you should first make sure that your child does not see you in a drunken state. And also, if you live in the US drinking at that age is illegal. Even if your child isn't old enough to understand, you wouldn't want to teach them from a poor example. I'm sure you can learn from your mistakes, but really, try to be more responsible.
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did you have a babysitter? if you didnt... then wtf... im calling CPS if you did... than yes your allowed to have fun ONCE month =]
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u were just having fun, as long as ur kids ok then ur a fine mom and ur friend shouldnt tell u that ur not
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19 year old single drunk mom, sounds bad enough!
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well since it was your first time, and since it wasn't in front of your child, I would say without any other information it would be hard to give you my honest opinion as I do not know you or your child. Is she basing this on this party alone or is there more to this story. You know whether you are a good mom or not. Do you set a good example when around your child? do you meet all their needs?, What about a good environment and home cooked meals? Do you read to him/her and do you try your best to give your child a happy childhood. If you can answer yes to these questions you are most likely a good mom.
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The thing mothers tend to forget is that they can't be going out partying because they have to grow up and actually start being responsable for their kids sake. Being 19, you're going to want to because you're still wanting to be free, but having that kid means you need to grow up real fast and stop being so dumb.
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if your child was well taken care of while you were haveing fun then i dont think you are a bad mom. parents are still alowed to have a life after having kids. I dont know of one parent that cant wait to have a night out without their children. so i think its ok to let loose every one in a while, as long as your kid is well taken care of while you are having fun.
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You sound like a bad and irresponsible mom to me. Time to grow up. It's time for someone else to have a turn at being a kid and having fun. Your "good time" shouldn't entail risking your health nor putting your child at risk in any way. What good is a drunken mother when she gets home? (Hopefully there was a responsible adult willing to take care of the child for the rest of the night.) If you had been arrested for underage drinking, who would have cared for your child? Who would bail you out? Who would feed your child? Poor little baby. I suspect the REAL, functional parents of this child are your parent(s) who are probably enabling your bad behavior. They will come to regret that if they haven't already. At least, for the sake of the baby, I hope there is a responsible adult somewhere in the picture.
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No you are not.
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definitely not! i am sixteen and i babysit for these two families. one, is a single mother, who's two children i babysit. she always comes home past 12/1 o clock, sometimes a little tipsy. but, she knows her children are in good hands :) so she doesn't have to worry about her kids when she gets home. the other parents i babysit for, have two very young children. when they go out they almost always come back hammered, but again it depends who you leave your children in the hands of. you are definitely not a bad mother, especially if you only get drunk once in a while. :)
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not based on that... unless you took your child with you or left him/her in the car. however in my opinion getting drunk is irresponsible regardless of age or circumstance and responsibility is one attribute of being a good parrent.
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If you do it again and again, then of course you are a bad mom.
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no it doesnt !!!!! but dont make it a regular thing agnore your friend and dont drink as often and tell you friend drink went straight to your head because you dont get out often because of baby tell her to mind her own business .
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Yes because you were in a stage that you could not care for your child. That is a bad parent. Partying must end when you bring a child into this world. The total responsibility for the child is yours. How many more times are you just going to have fun and forget about yur child. sorry but you asked. Plase do not be mad.
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It depends ... who was taking care of your kids ? Do you leave them regularly with others to watch and care for ? How much time do you actually spend doing things with your kids ... ? Are your kids kept clean BY YOU ? Are they well fead and I don't mean Junk Food ; Imean home coked food for their bellies ... ? You answer those questions and YOU will know if you are a good mom or not ...
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If you left your kids hungry, living in squalor with dirty clothes, lice-infested, weekend after weekend after weekend, then yes, you'd be a bad mother. So you had a weekend out. Big whoop! Now under-aged drinking... that makes you a little crappy.
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I think it's time to grow up and be realistic. You are a Mom now. Doesn't mean you can't have fun. But be responsible! You should be setting an example for your child!
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If getting falling down drunk makes you a bad mom, then I'm the worst mom ever!
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Depends on who was responsible for your kid at the time...
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I don't think so as long as you don't do it too often.
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It doesn't make you a bad mother, your a teenager that experienced a child before getting out of your teenage years...of course your going to have moments of relapse. And yes if its your first time getting that way it could just have been a one time thing and as long as you dont make a habit and don't bring your child into the issue its fine...just never get drunk around your kids that is never a plus..you want to teach them the right things to do so drinking around them wouldnt be doing that..just try to be careful, everyone makes mistakes and just because you make them doesnt make you a bad mother..im sure your a good mother.
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No. It makes you a irresponsible 19 year old. Many people have been there. Repeating the decision to go out and get riproaring drunk, however, will not speak highly of your parenting skills.
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Yes your a bad mother, you were drinking under the legal drinking age, you actually could of been arrested. You are a unwed mother by choice. You are irresponsible by getting drunk and not providing a decent home and family for your child. Good I'm not a judge, I whould take your child and have you spend time in jail.
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I think since you decided to have a kid, whether it was an 'accident' or not, you need to take responsibility for it. Stop partying and start taking care of your kid.
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Doesnt make you a bad mother,but you need to pay attention to your child not to partying.I understand that you are still young and you want to have fun thats understandable,but that shouldnt be your priority anymore.
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having fun and being a bad mom are two totally different things. she cant say youre a bad mom for that. she doesnt know what the hell shes saying to you because a bad mom would go off and tell their children to go do a bad thing and fuck up their minds. now thats what i call a bad mom. that kind of stuff. So no you are not a bad mom but stop drinking.
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no that doesnt make you a bad mom at all. im a single parent and im 21 and lucky for me my parents have my son 1 night a weekend not every weekend but still. i go out i enjoy myself and no1 can tell me im a bad mom!!!!!!! i love my son i look after my son 24/7 but sometimes you need a break. were both young we both look after our children getting drunk 1 time whilst your child is in safe hands n no where by you when your drinking i dont see why that would make you a bad mom. just dont do it every week. i never drink by my son n i dont get drunk but im lucky i drink n drink n never get drunk. just becarefull how often u do it. 1 in a blue moon doesnt hurt u or your son
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You aren't telling the whole story. You neglected to mention where your child was, how you managed to get booze, (since you're under age,) or what you did while inebriated. Your friend apparently has information which led her to tell you a harsh truth. Quit justifying your bad behavior, be responsible and put your child first... second and third too!
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First of all why because you've had a child does that mean you can no longer have a life??? i dont no where your from but im from england so drinking at 19 is ok by law but depending on who was looking after your son who says you cant have some time for yourself, your friend has no busness telling you you are a bad mother if you are good to your son, i think i would of told her where to stick it if she said that to me coz i dont think thats much of a friend at all. as long as your not out getting wasted all the time, your good to your son and provide the best you can for him then why can you not have a little bit of time to let your hair down its not like you were making him drink it and passing him a spliff so why are people on here acting like your a child murderer or something!!!
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Yea, it can mean you're a bad mom. Depends on if you are willing to put yourself in that position again or if you learned your lesson. You have a life depending on you, getting wasted at a party, anything can happen. You don't risk your well being for a bit of fun. Especially as a mom.
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hmmm.. i wouldn't say your a bad mom... but i am 21 and a mother to a 3yr old i have not drank since i found out i was pregnant. I feel like its my job to set an example for my child. do i want her to go get drunk just for fun? no way. Most people say going out and getting drunk is a release/brake from your child well in my case i enjoy being with my child i have fun with her every single day my release/brake is seeing the smile on her face or her telling me she loves me.this is how i live my life if my daughter can't join in on the fun then its really not that important.I love my daughter and i'll have plenty of mommy time when she's an adult.
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if you had a safe place for your child until you recovered and you don't breast feed then, no it does not make you a bad mom - i will say that you need to readjust your priorities though...+5.
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As long as your child was with a competent babysitter it doesn't matter. And if it wasn't, well, it wasn't the most responsible thing to do, but it hardly makes you a bad mom unless you do it alll the time and neglect your child, which it doesn't sound like. I know this is an old question, but I saw a lot of answerers were being jerks and I wanted to give my less jerky opinion.
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Dont listen to what these people tell you. We do not know you. We can not tell if you are a bad mother or not. But based on what you have told, no you are not a bad mother. Well, it actually depends where the child was, was he with you? If he was with you that is not very good. I am 23 and have a 2 year old and i party, that dont mean im a bad mother or i dont care about him.
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How often are you doing the partying thing? I know you got wasted once real badly, which is not a big deal. But how often are you out partying? It's really hard to be home at 19 when everyone else is out, but this will teach you strenght and good character. Your child is your main priority now, and if you keep that in mind, you will attract the right people into your circle for you and the baby. You can have lots of fun with your friends without the night life and the boozing. The next day when baby is crying and you are hungover, you are not going to be the great mom.
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did the child have a good babysitter? do you party all the time? no drugs right? depending on how you anwer those questions...but remember, the best parents are the ones who dont have kids...they will tell you that, just ask em....you are aloud to go out and have fun...just dont loose touch with reality kiddo....good luck.
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If you are doing it every weekend then yes. But if 95% of the time you are spending with your child...it's okay to go out and have some fun every once in awhile. You are still young and should be able to have fun, but at the same time you have the responsibility as a parent.
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I don't think anyone has the right to call any mother a bad mother number one. Number two, your nineteen years old... sometimes you need to be able to have a little bit of fun. I don't think that should be an issue. Your not pawning your kid off on someone to party all the time. Tell your friend she needs to stop ragging on you
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Going out for a couple of hours while a qualified person is watching your child does not make you a "bad mom" ... except you should not have gotten "Wasted" . How the hell do you expect to take care of YOUR baby when you get back home ? It is YOUR responsability ! Now; if you were out , drunk ..half of the night or so while your baby was with some little teen ager ..who probably had their boyfriend over and they were ignoring the baby ... THEN: THAT makes you a BAD MOM !
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What would you think of your mother if she did that to you? Think about the answer to that one and then you will have your answer also.
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No. But I'd suggest not making a habit of it.
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as long as the baby was being taken care of. you have every right to go out once and a while.
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No you are not a bad mom. But your friend is a bad friend. As long as your baby was being taken care of someone not drinking, you are entitled to go out every once in a while and let your hair down. Taking care of kids is hard work at any age! And you deserve a night to yourself. I don't care if you are having dinner with the girls, getting smashed, going on dates, etc. Your life doesn't stop because you have a baby and you will go insane if you devote 100% of your time to the kids. You have to have "you" time.
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hey im a single mom and 19 and guess what i did last night i got drunk it was my first time too....i had someone watching my daughter so many people who found out bout it told me that they were glad i was responsible and had someone else take care of my little girl we all make mistakes just as long as your child was not around it doesn't make u a bad mom...im sure u have done a lot for your little one and that is what people should be looking at not at your one mistake
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I havent read all the answer, but it sounds like I agree with the majority. No you are not a bad mum just becasue you had fun, maybe your freind in incapable of having fun while making sure the kids are taken care of. or maybe they are just a person who thinks no mothers are allowed to have fun. as long as you keep your children away from danger and love them you should be able to have as much fun as you like
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IF your child was being looked after by a RESPONSIBLe person over 18 ... then you would NOT be a BAD MOM ... However; if you went home DRUNK and was TRYING to take care of your child in that condition ; then YES.you'd be a BAD MOM in my book ... Do NOT EVER be drunk around your child ... +5
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am i the only one who thinks that havin fun isn't about getting wasted? what is wrong with people?
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well your friend is a fake 4 saying that no u are not im a single mum and im 21 and go out every child needs a happy mum and if going out once in a while is that then why not a happy mum is a good mum as long as its not a regular thing.single mums need to relax and chill out like any one elec even more of a reason to because its so stressful at times go out have fun
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